May 08, 2004

So if 650 prisoners are being released from Abu Ghraib within a two week period...

That's 650, obviously not guilty or no longer in need of detention.

I guess that means they were there because???? What? They had nice asses maybe?

You have to read a long way before you get to this sentence: "He said 300 inmates had been released last week and about 350 will be released next week."

Go on home boys--and thanks for the memories.

Havin' My Baby....

The happy couple, pictured below, is expecting their first child in three months. Who's throwing the baby shower?



Attorney Roy G. Hardy, who appeared with family members Friday, said England is five months pregnant and that Graner is the father.

I dunno. Maybe I have an anger problem.

Congress Questions President Clinton in Abu Ghraib Probe

In a surprise move, before adjourning for the weekend, Congress called President Bill Clinton to testify regarding reports that American soldiers abused Iraqi prisoners at a facility made notorious for torture during the regime of Saddam Hussein.

President Clinton's testimony followed that of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, who accepted complete responsibility for the misconduct among the guards at Abu Ghraib prison, and offered his apology. "I feel terrible about what happened to these Iraqi detainees," Rumsfeld said. "They're human beings."


Rumsfeld quickly amended his comment, adding, "Well, they're like human beings, except that they're actually desert monkeys."

After excusing Rumsfeld for the day, Congress called former President Bill Clinton to offer testimony on the controversial photos from Abu Ghraib. Mr. Clinton was summoned from his hotel at about 6:00 p.m. by representatives from a bi-partisan commission tasked with uncovering the facts and reporting their findings to the international community. The former Preisdent took the stand shortly after 6:15.

President Clinton faced tough questions from both Democrat and Republican members of Congress during his two-hour testimony. The transcript of the question and answer session follows.

-----begin transcript report-------

Q. Hello President Clinton. Thank you for joining us here today. I hope we haven't inconvenienced you by asking that you appear today.

A. Well, to be honest, I'm not quite sure why I'm here, since I left office four years ago.

Q. President Clinton, what did you know and when did you know it?

A. I'm not sure I understand what you're asking. It really all depends. I mean, I had no idea she was under age if that's what you mea....

Q. No, Mr. Clinton, we're speaking about Abu Ghraib--the torture photos from Abu Ghraib. What did you know and when did you know it?

A. Oh, that! Oh. I see. Well, that question is rather difficult to answer, because I don't have any information from, or any influence within, the current administra....

Q. Mr. Clinton, please answer the question. Certainly you were informed--you have had some role--in this administration's efforts in Iraq. Please tell us what you know about the photos, the soldiers involved in these acts, and the individuals involved in photographing and distributing these pictures. Certainly you are aware of the photographs.

A. Well, I've seen them online, just like the rest of America, and on CNN, but if you're asking whether or not I had any foreknowledge on the photos then I'd have to....

Q. YES, Mr. Clinton. That is what we're asking. What was your role--YOUR ROLE--as far as the photographs and video tapes that have emerged from Abu Ghraib in the last several days.

A. My role?

Q. Yes, you're role.

A. I don't think I had any role in...

Q. No, of course you didn't have any rolls--only digital cameras were involved, Mr. Clinton. Digital cameras do not require rolls of film or photo-processing. Do you understand digital photography, Mr. Clinton?

A. Well, I've taken some photographs of Chelsea with my Sony digital camera, so yes, I know about as much about digital cameras as any American...

Q. As much as any American SOLDIER, Mr. Clinton? Do you know as much about using a digital camera as the typical American S-O-L-D-I-E-R?

A. I really don't understand what's going...

Q. We're asking for the truth, Mr. Clinton.

A. Well, I'd really like to give you the truth this time... errr... I mean, the truth. I'd like to give it to you, but I'm not sure what you're getting at--not sure what you're asking me.

Q. Let us make this simple for you Mr. Clinton. A Yes or No answer will suffice. The simple question is: Were YOU the individual taking the photographs at Abu Ghraib? You were, in fact, the man behind the camera, Mr. Clinton, were you not?

A. At Abu Ghraib? You think I took the pictures at Abu Ghraib? For crying out loud, I've been in Harlem since April--I haven't been to Iraq in years--what are you talk...

Q. So you HAVE BEEN TO IRAQ, MR. CLINTON! YOU HAVE BEEN, AND YOU WILL BE AGAIN, AND YOU WERE THE INDIVIDUAL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF U.S. MILITARY PERSONNEL INVOLVED IN TORTURE AT ABU GHRAIB!

A. Jesus -- are ya'll insane? Have ya'll gone completely bonkers? Are you out of your twisted little Congressional minds?

Q. Mr. Clinton, we are asking the questions here today and we have reason to believe that the photos from Abu Ghraib are part of a vast Left Wing conspiracy to bring down the Bush Administration, and we have reason to believe that you and Mrs. Clinton are leading this conspiratorial effort.

A. Why would we want to conspire about what's.....

Q. BECAUSE, MR. CLINTON, YOUR WIFE WANTS OUR GUY'S JOB. We know this, we have reliable intelligence on this, and we would like it, for once in your godforsaken life, if you would TELL US THE TRUTH about this--about something--about ANYTHING! Just say it, Mr. Clinton. JUST SAY IT. SAY "I WAS THE GUY WHO TOOK THE PICTURES AND LEAKED THEM TO 60 MINUTES AND THE LIBERAL MEDIA!!!!" SAY IT!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SAY IT!

A. You know what? I'll tell you the truth. For once in my life I will tell the truth as I sit here before you sorry sacks of shit. You want to know the truth? Here's the truth. While your military machine was raping Iraqi detainees, I WAS taking digital pictures! Does that make you happy? I was using my Sony to shoot some really hot pics with plenty of naked bronze flesh, yah, and plenty of plastic and leashes, even nipple clamps, brothers. I was taking those photos, okay? But guess what--I WASN'T taking them at Abu Ghraib. I was taking them at my office, on the carpet, on my oak desk, on the leather couch. Mmmmm, that's right. Getting into the kink right in my own office. You got it? You understand what was going on there?


Q. Mr. President--Please!

A. You understand you choir boy rapists? You understand? I was having my new assistant Monique pose for me, yes that's right, and she posed for me, brothers, she posed all of it for me, and I took care of her posing for me in ways you war mongering limp dicked sorry excuses for men will never understand. Never. So kiss my Arkansas Ass because I'm outta here. I left this shit behind me four years ago, and I'm leaving it behind now.

Q. Mr. President!

A. You can call me Bill and you can leave me the hell alone. Unless you want some lessons on how to run an economy, and I don't mean into the ground, then I suggest you lose my number.

--end transcript report--

May 07, 2004

Meanwhile...

Oh, I'm sorry, but you don't have the oil we want.

"The government of Sudan is responsible for 'ethnic cleansing' and crimes against humanity in Darfur," according to the report, based on a 25-day investigation in and around Darfur. "The Sudanese government and the Arab 'Janjaweed' militias it arms and supports . . . have killed thousands of (ethnic) Fur, Masalit and Zaghawa -- often in cold blood."

It's just tough to be every place at once, isn't it?

In November, don't vote for a President, vote for a superhero.

May 06, 2004

ADD, Dissociation, and Other Mental Health Issues: My predictions for the year 2012

By 2012, I predict....

Rather than a disease or illness, ADD in children will become recognized as a coping mechanism for trauma: dissociation. (i.e., attention deficit = dissociation)

ADD Symptoms from the DSM IV

SYMPTOMS OF INATTENTION
a. often ignores details; makes careless mistakes
b. often has trouble sustaining attention in work or play
c. often does not seem to listen when directly addressed
d. often does not follow through on instructions; fails to finish
e. often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities
f. often avoids activities that require a sustained mental effort
g. often loses things he needs
h. often gets distracted by extraneous noise
i. is often forgetful in daily activities


Symptoms of Dissociation in Children

Child goes into a daze or trance-like state at times or often appears "spaced-out." Teachers may report that he or she "daydreams" frequently in school

Child shows rapid changes in personality. He or she may go from being shy to being outgoing, from feminine to masculine, from timid to aggressive.

Child shows marked day-to-day or even hour-to-hour variations in his or her skills, knowledge, food preferences, athletic abilities, e.g. changes in handwriting, memory for previously learned information such as multiplication tables, spelling, use of tools or artistic ability.

Child is unusually forgetful or confused about things that he or she should know..... [[more]]



I predict that ADD will become more readily linked to adverse childhood experiences, and that new whole-family treatment protocols for trauma will be developed and encouraged.

I predict that the early daycare experience (i.e. early separation of the child from the mother) will receive renewed attention in the question of ADD in children.

Yell at me if you want, but sell your Novartis stock by 2008.

I predict that the trauma movement will change how we view psychotropic medications, now filled by the millions to manage the many shades of mental illness in adults and children. Medicines useful? Yes. I predict that multi-pronged treatment approaches--with medicine as only one prong--will become the preferred way to manage depression and mental illness, however.

I predict that the days of the family doc prescribing psych meds are numbered, as liability increases with a failure for medications to manage these illnesses long term.

This has been a public service announcement from someone with no official training in these matters, but 41 years of experience at the University of Hard Knocks.

May 05, 2004

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE


Preident Requests $25 Billion More for Mid-East War Effort


Six Hundred rectal pears, Nine Hundred Chain Flails, Three Breast Rippers, Two Racks, and One St. Elmo's Belt Are Among Special Ops' Equipment Slotted for Funding.

Blog Calvinism

Found this over here after stopping by for donuts over here, and got to thinking how much this take on academic calvinism reminds me of the blog world. There would not be, as once upon a time there was not, a weblog elect class if not for the misplaced idolitry of weblog believers.

Do you too see an a-list parallel in the following?

Calvinist beliefs in predestination led believers to distinguish between the elect and the preterite - those who were destined to go to heaven, and those who were destined to go to hell. Because it was impossible to be sure whether they were going to ascend to paradise or to burn, Calvinists sought evidence that they were favoured by God through accumulating goods without consuming them. If you did well in worldly affairs, you could take this as a sign of God’s favour.

Translation Key

Elect = Self-identified (or at least non-protesting) A-Listers

Preterite = The rest

Heaven = More than 1,500 hits per day

Hell = Fewer than 50 hits per day

Goods = Links, search engine results, mentions in mainstream articles about blogging

Without consuming them = without linking to "the rest."

God = Technorati, google, dave winer

Wordly Affairs = Book contract or academic fellowship

The Calvinist illusion is that luck has nothing to do with it - markets reward virtue. Success in selling your wares is the only necessary proof of one’s innate superiority.

for those who were absent last year, part deux

Jeneane on seeing. And on blogs and velocity, and more meta blogging.

For a recent good read on one man's meta, check out Jay Rosen's Q&A post on PressThink.

for those who were absent last year...

Jeneane on the corporate blog.

Also here, and here.


Please, please, if a single executive is left among my readers, READ THIS from ME:

DO NOT blog as your business card title.

Do not blog as a CEO. First, last, and always, Blog as a father, blog as a mother, blog as a lover, blog as a gardener, a kick boxer, a trail walker, a brother, a sister, a pianist, a lover of literature, an auto freak, a war monger, a peace lover, a door hanger, a little league coach, a cross-dresser, a rock-n-roll fanatic, a gadget lover, a cancer survivor, a computer nerd, an antique train collector, a griever, a lover of striped ties or fancy underwear--whatever. Blog from your gut, your places of passion, blog about what brings you joy, what socks you in the middle and knocks the wind out of you, but for pete's sake, don't blog from your BUSINESS CARD TITLE!!!

May 02, 2004

carly and jeff

not spam--hey guys, new laptop & i lost yer email addresses and can't find the number. can you email us this week w/ your number? we're still scrimping and scraping to try to meet you to meet you in jamaica in june... Likelihood at 40%. need carly's deep discount dealing skills... talk to ya soon!