August 11, 2008

R U Southern?

Tomato Sandwiches. That's what makes August worth living in the heat soaked south. I'd never had a tomato sandwich until I moved down yonder to Atlanta. My friend from the Mississippi Delta introduced me to them a couple of years ago, and it's my favorite lunch -- Bar. None. -- during summer when you can get REAL tomatoes. With Hellman's Mayonnaise more than $4.00 a jar, the Tomato Sandwich has become a bit of a gourmet specialty. Let me tell you how the Real Southern Woman makes them, so you can impress your yankee friends and relatives:

Get a big-ass, plump, vine-ripe, richly-red tomato.
Get a loaf of unhealthy processed white-ass bread, the softer the better.
Get a BIG-ass spoon to dip into a big-ass jar of Hellman's Real Mayonnaise.
Cut 1/4 inch thick slices of tomato, NOT sideways, but starting with the bottom/butt of the tomato upward toward the top/stem. (more fleshy pieces this way).
GLOB mayonnaise on both pieces of bread.
Pile 3 slices of tomato on one piece of bread to cover the mayo.
Sprinkle the tomatoes LIBERALLY with salt, and even more LIBERALLY with black pepper til you can hardly see any red.
Put the sandwich together.
Lean over paper plate.
EAT IT NOW! NOWWW!

Enjoy--From Miss Manners Book of Southern Luncheons

8 comments:

Cyndy Aleo-Carreira said...

Jeneane, say what? Grew up eating them right here in Rah-cha-cha.

Doug said...

Oh hell, I'm no southerner (as you well know) and I've been eating tomato sandwiches all my life. Tomorrow I'm going to make one with the first giant ripe "Yellw Boy" tomato out of our garden - topped with a little home grown basil - cause I'm a fancy pants elitist Librul don'tcha know ;)

Jeneane Sessum said...

Doug - basil fancy pants lol!

Cyndy - well I don't know where I was, but had the Italian grandmother with tomatoes in the garden, and I never had a tomato sandwich until Georgia.

Maybe the diff is we'll risk our lives for them down hea' - http://agr.georgia.gov/00/press/detail/0,2668,38902732_99640361_117426574,00.html

Or maybe it's because it's MANDATORY in the south (and we use way more pepper I'm quite sure) - http://www.jacksonville.com/tu-online/stories/071804/dic_16126307.shtml

jonathan peterson said...

I'm with you sister. But dump the white bread crap. I made some a couple years ago with some leftover challah bread.

The extra sweetness of the challah made a MASSIVE difference. It went from a sublime sammich to life changing religious experience.

seriously. try it.

fpaynter said...

guess what we had for dinner?!?

summer synchronicity!

angela said...

Bah! Real Southerners use Duke's! =P

kokopelliwoman said...

Tomatoes have loomed large in my life. Good old Texas girl whose family always had a veggie garden. My mom's favorite "fruit." As an adult, I grew tomatoes in a greenhouse in N. CA, picked a couple of dozen green, wrapped them in tissue paper, and sent them to my mom in Chicago as a Christmas present. All turned nice 'n red by the time they got to her.

Elaine of Kalilily said...

Juicy ripe red tomato sandwich on challah with lots of Hellman's. That's my fave lunch or snack or even main meal.

Back in the forties, when everyone was poor (at least everyone I knew), we ate Hellman's mayonnaise sandwiches on Wonderbread.

The one thing that hasn't seemed to change is Hellman's mayonnaise. Except for the price, of course.