November 20, 2008

the bridge is so nice

Oh Gosh I almost forgot the Stupid People song. An oldie AND a Goodie


okay sing the stupid people song with me--want to?

Helloooo stupid people
it's good to meet you
no it's not
see you made me lie
and if I tell you true
I would have to tell you
really you make my
intestines flutter
and rumble, baby
and not in a gooood way, baby.

I'm not sure how you
live with a pin-sized braihaaaiiin
but you really do
yah you do baby
you do it all my sweet
because you're not just
you're very very
How do you do it?

You're bill-o'reilly stupid
You're bill-o'reilly stupid
You're not just smiley stupid
You're bill-o'reilly stupid

I bet in the morning, yah
you open your sweet shining eyes
and come alive inside
and your mind, your mihiiiiind
goes back to sleep
precious sleep
and that's okay
because baby
you gotta lotta work to do
in this world
a lotta hard work to do
and it's not easy, baby
no not easy
to operate the fryer
all the grease
sometimes the policeeeeee, baby
they come a rum come come
and say to you...

You're bill-o'reilly stupid
You're bill-o'reilly stupid
You're not just smiley stupid
You're bill-o'reilly stupid.

November 19, 2008

social allaboutMEdia or how i forgot my blog's 7th birthday

It's hard to see the forest for the trees these days. Social media pundits are punditizing themselves into such puffery that they are bursting from the very overstuffing of their grandiosity. There are more places than ever to pontificate, but blog posts still reign supreme as the bully pulpit to nowhere.

as in:

If I See ONE MORE post with BIG BOLD SUBHEADS boasting cute phrases that want so desperately to be profound that I have to turn my head to spare them their own embarrassment, I WILL puke.

I'm telling you, people.

I'm not talking polite regurgitation - I mean PUKE.

Don't pretend you have no idea what I mean.

"Think Small, Talk Deep" "Make Them Let You See Me Sweat" "If They Say Yes, You're Doing It Wrong." THOSE types of bullshitty neon nonsense.

You can tell these posts because the 'faux ballsy' subheads are most often followed by all the reasons why social media-community-internet-technology (buy my book buy my book buy my book) is the answer to every question yet to be answered under the sun, especially by business, which we all seem to forgotten, has RUN OUT OF MONEY.

That's the kind of supluferous fluff disquised as consulting genius I'm talking about.

It's the echo chamber, baby, say "hello" (ello ello ello ello)

So repulsed am I by what the conversation unleashed online back at the turn of the century - yes I was there - has become, I have managed to miss my own blog's 7th birthday.

happy birthday to me and the class of 2001.

Not for nothing, but if you think you're saying something new and interesting ABOUT the Internet with those big sweeping subheads you hope to work into a TOC for your next novella, it's time to actually DO something new and interesting BECAUSE OF the Internet. Or create something interesting and let us at it.

Because those posts--the ones with the faux-ballsy subheads--they gotta go.

happy birthday to my ass.