almost done...

chapter 13 is long. files are big. we're almost done. george is reading. jenna kicks it off. i am, what would you call it, executive producer? Soon. Coming soon as we get small enough files to upload. Don't abandon us. We'll be back to our regularly scheduled program soon. In the mean time go read Jay Rosen's comments (referenced four posts down). good stuff. i am tired. jenna has an ear infection and more -- found out after 10 days of trying to kick this sinus/cold/asthma thang. She held her own but finally took her today to see. she's a trooper.... i am in a stupor. live and love among yourselves.

I think my blog frightened a potential client today. I giggle when that happens. Luckily, since I have some good clients in my court these days, I can giggle. I like to giggle. I like sleep more.

Kombinat! Newest product - take waste from sleep and turn it into productivity. we like carbon dioxide. K! Hi marek.

AKMA’s Random Thoughts: Let’s Start Something

I'm late on blogging this, but I have been hard at work behind the scenes, doing such heavy lifting as driving to barnes and noble to buy the book. Yes, the Sessums intend to lend their voices to the noble (not barnes and) idea of AKMA to perform (read aloud) Free Cluture, Larry Lessig's new book. This is a way cool idea and my mind is racing on what *else* we can do to perform this work. music, yes. Art anyone? Poetry? What moves you? Let's turn it inside out and put the "form" in perform.

Okay, jeneane. focus.

Kombinat! Goes Public a Week or So After Launch

Kombinat! announces: Kombinat!: IPO of first ever Public Domain Corporation. In a stealth move this conversation recycler and enviro-friendly Borganization has given ownership to, well, everyone. Always dreamed of being a shareholder, stakeholder, or CD holder? Dream no more. With Kombinat! dreams are a thing of the past. Only the instant matters. Kombinat! repurposes instants in an instant.

K! got mine. got yours?

Well, now see?

If I'd known Tom had already covered the topic in the way Tom does, I would have just hushed up. Dag. Tom says, here's what journalism could do about blogging:

"What journalism can do about blogs is to use them to begin to understand what it is not. To explore whether in this extraordinary range of expression and human storytelling there might not be some shade of expression that it should consider adding to its five-key piano. And to consider, upon reflection, whether its resistance to expanding its palette and scope is based upon legitimate concerns of journalistic craftsmanship, or is in fact a matter of kissing the arse of the marketplace."

yes, well, that certainly works too.

"What is Journalism? And What Can Weblogs Do About It?" = Jay Rosen

Jay Rosen's panel at bloggercon looks very cool. There, I said it. See? I can say nice things about Bloggercon. Well, one nice thing anyhow.

I added some thoughts in Jay's comments as have some hard thinking folks.

I'm not sure I made sense in Jay's comments, what with it being 11:08, Jenna being sick, and me being fully medicated for bedtime.

So, the cliff notes version of what I said is:

Blogging isn't journalism -- and shouldn't much care about journalism -- because it's blogging.

Wshew. That was a lot easier to type than what I said in Jay's comment box.

The same things that make blogging different from other kinds of writing make blogging differentt from journalistic form and function: The thread from me to you to him to her.

So I ended by saying it this way: In blogging, the reader (not the writer/reporter) is the journalist--the one responsible for drawing from any number of sources to inform, and ultimately form, his or her own story.

Even better, if the reader is a blogger, then the reader helps write the story, with a post, links, comments, trackbacks --whatever--of his or her own.

wow. I'm almost excited about bloggiing again. It's been a month. Nothin's moved me. But maybe there's hope.

Something about conversation, many ends, and things joined loosely.

I like to call them...

Bill Clinton Oreos.

I hear Kerry's eating these like crazy.

maybe I'm obsessing....

But can you tell me just what exactly jumping out of an airplane naked does to womens' breasts? Do I see actual inversion taking place? Can we all join together here for a moment in a group scream?

AS IF you might have to, remind me never to try this.

in honor of the halley challenge

I'll keep the next few brief.

Speaking of briefs...

These men are obviously unafraid of shrinkage.

Um, No.

Does any one really need real time conference coverage? Pin drops.

All or nothing blogger

Shelley does it in white. Outta sight.

Is there really anything else we need to know?

Apparently, Peeps don't spoil.

Why Yes, I have fallen off the face of the earth!

And it's very very dark out here. There are twinkley little things floating between my legs, which are either brightly lit testicles I somehow inherited during my fall off the face of the earth, or stars. Not sure which.

You may have heard the atmosphere exists sans gravity, out here, just southwest of the face of the earth. ON THE CONTRARY! Gravity is heavy as hell out here, and just now I'm falling like a freckled boulder at about six light years per second. I fully expect to hit bottom soon, so stay tuned.

In the mean time, watch where you step.

Kombinat! - not your father's conversation waste repurposer.

Kombinat!: "Listen. In Cluetrain = Markets are Converstions. In Kombinat! = Kombinat is The Market and Conversations are its byproduct. "

Someone took the cartoon right outta my mouth.

Simply Great. Saw the link over at Mr. Panel's place.

Box Office Mojo > Daily Box Office > 03-19-2004

Yah, well, as numbers 1-4 go, so goes American culture.

Make your own jokes. Me? I never thought I'd see Starsky and Hutch rise from the dead.

Kombinat! Ask for it by name.

Multiple Noise Streams = Multiple Sales Cchannels = Multiple Profit Avenues. Marek can tell you how. Conversations --> Waste --> Commerce --> Conversations. Send $9.95 today.

Common Me

I'm not sure, but I think Tom is saying He's become a French Communist. That has to be hard to do from Mexico. That Tom.

Another Goodbye

Rest well, Uncle Mike.

It's Not Easy Being Green

Well, it's Dead Dad Day--I mean St. Patrick's Day--again. I don't feel like writing about it this year, this day that sneaks up on everyone else each year as they look for the obnoxious green sweater stashed in the bottom drawer of some out-of-the-way dresser.

I've lived this day every day for the last 36 years, between moments and among seconds that carry me forward. And of course, many of you have lived it with me, in so many posts, on any given day, a random Tuesday perhaps, when the sun insists on jabbing me between the ribs, urging me to just be happy, come on, will ya? it's a nice day out here.

Some wounds need no medical attention because there is no remedy--they simply become part of your constitution.

03/17/02

03/17/03

Father

School of the Dead - Orientation

School of the Dead 1

School of the Dead 2

School of the Dead 3

School of the Dead 4

School of the Dead 5

School of the Dead 6

Children's Grief

The Living Dead

I Hear You Hear Me

Nina June

Panic Remembered

The Revelation

March Madness

Being Dad, Being Mom

You Don't Have to Die to Live Up to His Image

The Piano

Attention Defecit

The Body Bears the Burden

Freeze Frame

Grieving

What I Don't Remember

RageBoy Got Engaged!

Or so says Eric.

Cracking the Egg

In other DeanNews, Dean Landsman wonders a.) if there would have been weblogs if not for Dave Winer's initial vision and product push, and b.) what the purpose is for the blog chicks session at the upcoming conbloggercon.

I'm glad that Lisa and team are doing the women and blogs roundtable at bloggercon, specifically because it's bloggercon, and if you know those who float around the meniscus of bloggercon, you too would be glad women have a foothold there.

The point for me isn't to question whether or not there's a women and weblogs session at bloggercon. It's to question why we insist on capturing and locking weblogging up inside our stupid old business-as-usual rituals, like conferences, which blogging is really an antidote for. By joining us together through conversation in a space that is anything but physical, blogging is different. Why can't we just let that be so?

No one (except maybe the product folks) grabbed on to blogging because they thought one day they might get to sit on a panel of influential business people. We grabbed onto weblogging because it was the answer to the kind of back-patting traditional snoresville we'd had to suffer in business.

That's not to say I don't think bloggercon will be fun. I know it will be--for crying out loud--you have bloggers there! What's not to be fun about that! Stealth discoing and stuff. That's funny. I dig that.

But I continue to fight the trend I see for us to get a little too carried away with our bad selves, ladies and gentleman.

Happy Birthday, Dean!

DeanLand.WebLogs.Com : BIRTHDAY 52

Orkut told me--It's Dean's birthday today! Happy b-day Dean!

The Passion of the Bin Laden

How many evengelical Christians would have flocked to see The Passion if the actor playing Christ looked more like Osama Bin Laden than a Vietnam Vet? I'll tell you how many. Lots less.

How many would have had to look into their own souls a little bit harder after seeing the selfless suffering of a man of color and compassion realizing that he is indeed their Lord and Savior, but he isn't from Plymouth Rock? Too many, that's how many.

Too many for the movie to make an impact on the RIGHT people. Too many for the movie to make millions (and counting).

The truth about Gibson's The Passion is that it is little more than a white lie.

Panel on Being White in Dull Colors--Don't Miss It!

This SXSW (south by so white) panel is apparently addressing the emergent trend of white people to dress in dull colors.

I hear Halley may fly out there in her fucia sweater to demonstrate how white people can effectively add color to any outfit. She will be bringing one of Shelley's brilliant flowers with her to share as a best practice in color mapping.

As for adding any real color to these conferences, well, that'd be interesting.

Power to the People

In a fit of conference cluelessness dejour, the attendees of SXSW were required to pay $90 to hook up to power. But all's well now since the bloggers there asked, WTF SXSW? I hear cameras are also prohibited, but that hasn't stopped some folks.

Good. Conference freaks, rockon. We'll save you a place on the phone, where you are allowed to tape, take pictures, and plug into your household outlets (cordless only).

Burningbird: Magic of Orchids

Shelley's Burningbird: photos of flowers are nothing short of erotic. Look. The insides unfold in curls, welcoming the fuzz and stingers of bees. What you're looking at, sweetness unfurling, flower tongues, and open arms.

It's rare to see the shere joy, magic, and poignence of nature captured in a shutter-click, an ordinary flower on an ordinary day evoking extraordinary emotions.

No one does this like Shelley.

unplugged

I've been working on getting untangled from these wires at home. Just got the t-mobile aircard which it seems can hook me up wherever I may be. Problem is, I don't have a working battery for this dell, but once I get that, I'ma have my home office on wheels.

Also grabbed a new sidekick. I jumped on the sidekick bandwagon early and have had my black-and-white sidekick since they came out, even after it took a 14 mile ride on top of my car and spilled onto a four-lane road, screen down, no worse for the wear. I didn't think the color sidekick would be much different, but it really is sweet. It's faster, brighter, with just enough upgrades to make it worth the buying.

Now I'm going through that dizzy spell I go through whenever I spend on new technology: Oh, what have I done? Oh, where am I? Oh, everything looks different--i'm so confused.

Just now, Jenna's little friend Maddy's over and they're building a pillow fort in the living room. Or, might be better to say they're building a pillow fort OF the living room. From one end to the other, no less than 10 pillows six blankets, seven stuffed animals, two cheeseburger happy meals (one no pickles, one extra pickles), a sprite, a diet coke, four sneakers, a footstool, a notebook, pens, pencils, and partridge in a pear tree.

Life is good.

nothing brilliant to add.

PhoneCon Merchandising

Proceeds go to feed and insure the needy.

Namely me and RB.

PhoneCon Branding

logo design by RB.

PhoneCon 1876

WELCOME TO PhoneCon, 1876!

Please join us at the second annual PhoneCon conference in Boston, April 18-22, where we'll be bringing together some of the smartest minds from across the Harbor to talk about talking on the Telephone.

As you know, the emerging power of the Telephone as a tool to shape democracy, our flour and cotton mills, and our understanding of Rhode Islanders, is just beginning to be understood. That's why it's so important for telephoners to get together in person to talk about talking on the phone.

WHO SHOULD ATTEND

-Do you have a telephone?
-Do you talk on your phone regularly?
-Do you wonder where the telephone's headed?

Then PhoneCon is for you.

Please note, this is a user's conference. Its focus is on people who use phones. It will address my invention only as my invention plays a role in letting people talk to one another over the telephone.

We hope you enjoy some of the exciting sessions we already have planned. The cost of PhoneCon is free. So get on your horse, put some Paul Revere in your giddeyup, and hurry on over to Boston.

--Alexander Graham Winer


KEYNOTE ADDRESS

Tilden for America -- How the Telephone Will Affect the Hayes-Tilden Presidential Campaign of 1876. Keynote Speaker: M. SO. Trippy.

CONFERENCE OUTLINE

More tracks are being added every day. Here's what we have so far...

Track 1 - We Got Phone - How Telephones Are Changing Our Culture -- Rebecca Sweatn Tears

Track 2 - The Telephone and God -- AKMABCD

Track 3 - Telephones in Business and Schools: Hello? -- David Weinsausage

Track 4 - Social Phoning: Use the Phone to Call Others -- Ross Mayforrest

Track 5 - The Phone and Emerging Democracy -- Joi Neato

Track 6 - It's All One Big Game -- Stewart Buttercup

Track 7 - PHOAPH - Phone of a Phone -- Marc Gallop

Track 8 - Alpha Males: Don't Wait for the Phone to Ring, Baby -- Hally Sue

Track 9 - Hey, Let's start a Revolution! -- Chris Rock

THIS YEAR WILL BE EVEN BETTER THAN LAST YEAR'S EXCITING GATHERING!

Last year, at PhoneCon 1875, there was no phone. I hadn't invented it yet. But we were already thinking about the phone. One exciting panel demonstrated a prototype telephone and discussed its implications on the future of our nation and the world. The demonstration transcript is provided here:

Bob: Hello?

Tom: Hello?

Bob: HELLO?

Tom: Huh?

Bob: Can ya hear me?

Tom: Pardon?

Bob: Can ya hear me?

Tom: Eh?

Bob: NOW can you hear me?

Tom: YES! YES!

Bob: YES!

Tom: Hi.

Bob: Hi.

Tom: We're talkin.

Bob: Yep.

Tom: My voice is coming out of my mouth and goin' across this here wire to your ear.

Bob: Yep. My voice is coming out of my mouth and goin' across this here wire to your ear.

Tom: What'd ya know. We're talkin.

Bob: I reckon.

-----------------------

PhoneCon: RESERVE YOUR SEAT TODAY!!!




[[inspired by RB.]]

It's all good...

The sound of the bloggers on #joiito hightailing it over to Typepad.

;-)

The Sendoff

Scott on Drifting with the tide:

Tipping the bag, his ashes began to spill into the river, and as quickly as it started, it was over; the bag was empty. Looking down, I could see that Dad was now forming a cloud in the water, spreading out as he embraced his return to the sea. Slowly, everyone lined the docks, watching as the cloud continued to spread as well as cover the bottom near the dock. Flowers began to fall into the water, as each of us said our farewells. Gerry commented on how the tide was returning Dad to the marina, upriver from where we stood and that seemed right to me.

When Halley's Dad Woke Up that Day

Halley's most moving post on the death her father in 2002:

The screen door will slam with a happy familiar whack, and my dad won't miss that often ignored sound of home. Look at him grin. He will relish it, but not for long, because he'll nearly fall over his old retriever dog, who will shoot from stage left to see if he can upend this happy man. The dog's got the paper in his mouth, and every damned story is good news, one better than the next, but he'll have no time to marvel at it. He'll run to his kids and scoop them up, squeeze them so hard they'll whine, "Dad!" They'll roll on the grass in a mock wrestling match, the two of them unable to keep a good man down.

alone

From nine2000 on the death of his dad after his mom.

I don't know the timetable. I do know that he took the rose that normally sits on my mom's side of the bed off of the bed and put it on the dresser. Then he took his social security card and his organ donor card and laid them on the bed.

When they found him, they didn't see the rifle until they moved his body. He had shot himself. He had taken his own life

so sudden the shock

Gary Turner on the death of his dad in 2003.:

I picture him right now sitting in a pub with his own father whose death he never quite got over, or out walking in the glens and around the lochs with our old family dogs as we loved to do when I was a kid.

On not saying goodbye

From Hooloovoo, less than a year ago, reflecting on his father's murder.

There are things that I wish I still had the opportunity to say to him, things that I wish I still had the opportunity to take back. I won't be able to hug him ever again. I won't be able to hear him say he's proud of the man I've become ever again. I wont be able to call him someday to let him know he's going to be a grandfather.

Dad Loss - 1

From a Cynical Life from 2001: Seven Years

When someone you love dies, you don't care how horrible their "quality of life" may have become. The fact is, you're not thinking that your choices are he-keeps-living-with-destructive-painful-disease vs. he-dies-and-is-finally-at-peace. No, you think your choices are really between having him back the way he was BEFORE illness vs. never seeing him again in this life and having a bleeding gash in your guts where you thought your heart was. And guess what? I would choose to have him back the way I remember him. Every time.

I hadn't stopped by Fishrush's house in a while. Whenever I do, I'm always surprised that he's changed the window treatments and redecorated with blue and mauve pinstripes, or built a new deck, or decided to remove all the doors in the place. You just never know. I believe he is now in his minimalist phase.

"Tonight I walked past fish in the aquarium; I felt peaceful again, reconnected to a lost part of myself. The cool blue and the dim flickering lights, the slow-motion of the fish, the seaweed, the water, my thoughts. "

The Obvious? To Euen it was.

Euen does the right thing when he happens upon a Duck in trouble. I've never happened upon a duck in trouble, but if I were a duck in trouble, I would want Euen and his two girls to pick me up, dust me off with wipes, put me in box with a blanket and take me to the wild animal hospital. That was one lucky duck.

Blending Notes and Fonts

I hadn't seen this before but I'm glad I saw it today.

I could use a drink with this. I have no drink available. That does suck. Specially since, here in the Bible Belt, you can't buy drink on the Sabbath. It's for yer own protection, son.

Thankey to Da Goddess for the link.

Blending Notes and Fonts

I hadn't seen this before but I'm glad I saw it today.

I could use a drink with this. I have no drink available. That does suck. Specially since, here in the Bible Belt, you can't buy drink on the Sabbath. It's for yer own protection, son.

Thankey to Da Goddess for the link.

Blending Notes and Fonts

I hadn't seen this before but I'm glad I saw it today.

I could use a drink with this. I have no drink available. That does suck. Specially since, here in the Bible Belt, you can't buy drink on the Sabbath. It's for yer own protection, son.

Thankey to Da Goddess for the link.

This Passion

Beautiful Post on The Passion and the passion, with silent acts in far away lands resonating more loudly than the howl from Hollywood.

Thanks to Tom for the link.

test from the "blog this" little doohicky

Just a test to see if the "blog this" thing on my toolbar is working. Hey, is it taking this site forever to load or what? Anyone know why? too many images? Massive traffic from around the globe (ha!)?

Hello.

Those bricks, that room, that desk and laquered linoleum, that faded denim, that wrinkled linen, those flesh etchings and peppered streaks, that voice, that lesson, that eye, your pain.


Goodbye, by Robert Creeley

Now I recognize
it was always me
like a camera
set to expose

itself to a picture
or a pipe
through which the water
might run

or a chicken
dead for dinner
or a plan
inside the head

of a dead man.
Nothing so wrong
when one considered
how it all began.

It was Zukofsky's
"Born very young into a world
already very old..."
The century was well along

when I came in
and now that it's ending,
I realize it won't
be long.

But couldn't it all have been
a little nicer,
as my mother'd say. Did it
have to kill everything in sight,

did right always have to be so wrong?
I know this body is impatient.
I know I constitute only a meager voice and mind.
Yet I loved, I love.

I want no sentimentality.
I want no more than home.

My dark teacher

An English major at the University of Buffalo in 1980, I ended up dropping his class because attending was like licking vanilla ice cream sprinkled with glass shards from a razor blade.

Here, Robert Creeley describes his collected works, and collected works in general, noting that their autobiographical nature and piecing together creates a larger story. Again, I am reminded of blogging:

"I remember Allen Ginsberg saying of my Collected Poems, 'Who would have thought such little poems would make such a big book!' I was surprised too. So there is always that new perspective, so to speak—any shift in context and format is bound to change one's sense of things. I know that reading Williams's Paterson as it appeared, book by book, was quite different from reading the whole work "collected" and published as a single volume.

"I miss in obvious ways the intensity and specificness a particular book can have at a particular time for all concerned—Pieces [Creeley's book of poems published by Scribner in 1969], for example. At the same time one is able to recognize in a collection such as Just in Time the pattern of a life lived, the curve of that aspect of time. For me especially the "autobiographical" is a significant element, and the collection of several books into one lets one track it more simply."

If Cixous were writing about blogging, she might write this...

"I think that the relationships between people are either completely pointless and meaningless, or creative, passionate and thus demand effort, real work through which they create things. In this way, they complete thought processes and become the light."



-Helene Cixous

Conversation with Helene Cixous

Here.

"All people, poets and writers with whom I have established a relationship which weaves connections between us - they are all already determined in their antagonistic critical attitude toward their beginnings and family and national milieu. They are all deconstructionists, to use Derida's term. They are all rebels, though they might be pacifists; in some way, they are all fighters. Those are people who do not comply. There it is! And who, at the same time, are not powerless. And that is very important. They are not people whose whole value system could be defined as isolation in some aggressive position. They do not accept in life things that prevent love, as well as all orders and laws. Those are the people who resist law that is order. Because, in fact, their hope or their actions are oriented toward that which stands for greater quality of life, humanity, intelligence. Each of these persons, I have encountered in time and in texts with their special characteristics, passing through what I call a desert, deserts. Passing through almost empty spaces, and recognizing them suddenly, as light, while they were searching through what I was also searching."


....And this is what I feel in the space between posts. What I feel for you.

écriture féminine

Hélène Cixous on the definition of écriture féminine

"It is impossible to define a feminine practice of writing, and this is an impossibility that will remain, for this practice can never be theorized, enclosed, encoded, coded -- which doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. But it will always surpass the discourse that regulates the phallocentric system: it does and will take place in areas other than those subordinated to philosophical-theoretical domination. It will be conceived of only by subjects who are breakers of automatisms, by peripheral figures that no authority can ever subjugate."

It will be conceived of only by subjects who are breakers of automatisms...
...by peripheral figures that no authority can ever subjugate.

Cixous Says...

Quotes from Helene Cixous, the post-modern mistress of voice:

Censor the body and you censor breath and speech at the same time. Write yourself. Your body must be heard.
-- "The Laugh of the Medusa"

Writing: as if I had the urge to go on enjoying, to feel full, to push, to feel the force of my muscles, and my harmony, to be pregnant and at the same time to give myself the joys of parturition, the joys of both the mother and the child. To give birth to myself and to nurse myself, too. Life summons life. Pleasure seeks renewal.
-- "Coming to Writing"

Myth ends up having our hides. Logos opens up its great maw and swallows us whole.
--"Coming to Writing"

I haven't been writing lately.

If writing doesn't tire you out, you're not writing. If writing doesn't wake you up, you're not writing. If you're not reading every day, you're not writing. If you don't yell at yourself sometime during the act, you're not writing. If you don't yell at someone you love during the act, you're not writing. If you don't feel a burning in your lungs, you haven't said anything. If you don't feel an ache in your temple, you haven't thought hard enough. If you think of it as writing instead of offering your friends an idea as a gift, you're on the wrong track. If your voice is affected, you're not being honest. If you use your readers to trap an enemy, you're guilty as sin. If you think you set the rules, you're wrong.

Dervala

Sometimes you read a post that you know you'll reference again, in quiet moments when you think back on what tasted so good to read last year, or a decade earlier, when we have online anthologies of the best blog posts, and Over Newfoundland, from Dervala, will be there. Good fortune and God speed good lady.

Country or Cult?

Oh my. Oh dear. How'd I miss this? Wow. Uh huh. Puzzle pieces coming together now..

Let's see, where are we all moving?


HINT: Not Here.

Martha 2.0

Try to find a press release on her site. Good luck. However, with the news about Martha Stewart's "Guilty on All Counts" verdict, I thought I'd help MSO out with some pro-bono work updating their current FAQs to reflect the new twist to her brand. It's the least I can do.


MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED
QUESTIONS ABOUT MARTHA

Q: When is Martha's birthday?

A: Martha's birthday is August 3. She will have served two months in federal prison by her next birthday, and we'll be having a nationwide contest to mark Martha's special day. Our "Bake a File in a Cake!" contest will award two lucky contestants one conjugal visit each with Martha on the weekend of their choice. To enter, video tape your recipe for baking a file into a layer or angel cake and send it to MSO. Winners will be judged on originality, taste, and length of tongue.

Q: Does Martha have a particular fragrance she wears?

A: Martha has several favorite perfumes. She often wears Fracas by Robert Piguet and Flowers by Antonia. We have exciting news on the fragrance front--Martha will be launching her own perfume brand early next year! The preliminary round of testing on Martha's patented new fragrance -- "Prison Bitch Paradise" -- is expected to be complete this fall. Prison Bitch will be available online and in major retail locations by Christmas. Ho, Ho, Ho.

Q: I love Martha's hair. Who is her hairdresser?

A: Martha's hair has been styled by Eva Scrivo, Eva Scrivo Salon, 632 Hudson Street (between Jane & Horatio), New York, NY 10014; 212-677-7315. However, she plans to adopt a more, uh, conservative cut this summer as she turns cutting and styling over to Bashida, The Nubian Queen of Cell Block 34.

Q: What is Martha's heritage, and where are her parents from?

A: Currently, no living relatives claim relationship to the home-design star.

Q: How many pets does Martha have, what breeds are they and what are their names?

A: Martha adores her household full of pets. She has four chow chow dogs (Zu-zu, Paw-Paw, Chin Chin, and Empress Wu) and seven Himalayan cats (Teeny, Weeny, Mozart, Vivaldi, Verdi, Berlioz, and Bartok). Martha is anticipating adopting several new pets next year--deals are in the work for her to have the company of an abandoned pussy named Sunshine and a gerbil named Bitey when Stewart relocates to her new home in June.

Jack of no trades: Things google thinks i know about

Vicodin

Quitting

Atlanta Casket Manufacturers (O.M.G.!)

Strep Tonsilitis

Oh well. 1 out of 4 ain't bad.

Caskets?

the day i thought i'd hear myself say this...

Howard's right. Mikey Powell's site does look like a 16 year old's blog.

six reasons

orkut thoughts for the day

1) I'm starting to see thumbnail-size faces of people I've never met in my dreams. These are frozen people--they don't move or change expression. They are the postage stamp people of my unconscious.

2) Is anyone from Sweeden not in an open relationship?

You Always Have Other Options / YAHOO

And we here at allied suggest you use them.

Thanks to Sheila and J.D. for breaking the news to us.

Have you played today?

I know, it's early (here in the U.S. anyhow). But make sure you take some time out to play today. Not to exercise or grab a latte, not to fax a form or attend a meeting. Those are all good things. Doing them is a good thing. But, take some time out to play. Okay?

Stewart Martha Stewart

Oh, and P.S.

This seems to be an apt place to put a link to Stewart's relationship-based computing presentation. Go watch it. "Don't build applications. Build context for interactions." Nice.

And News about new Flickr features. Dig it--communities can be indexed by Google with the group admin's say-so. Wait until the blog-lovers features hit the street. saweeeet.

Leave your pins at home.

Stewart used his camera phone to take some cool photos of a cool exhibit of balloons as social networks visualized from infest.

kinda makes me wanna sing...

Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon
Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon
We could float among the stars together, you and I
For we can fly we can fly

Up, up and away
My beautiful, my beautiful balloon
The world's a nicer place in my beautiful balloon
It wears a nicer face in my beautiful balloon
We can sing a song and sail along the silver sky
For we can fly we can fly

Up, up and away
My beautiful, my beautiful balloon
Suspended under a twilight canopy
We'll search the clouds for a star to guide us
If by some chance you find yourself loving me
We'll find a cloud to hide us
We'll keep the moon beside us
Love is waiting there in my beautiful balloon
Way up in the air in my beautiful balloon
If you'll hold my hand we'll chase your dream across the sky
For we can fly we can fly

Up, up and away
My beautiful, my beautiful balloon
Balloon...
Up, up, and away.....

Pop Ups and Spam - Another kinda cat in da hat.

Do you like
pop-ups and spam?

I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
I do not like
pop-ups and spam.

Would you like them
Here or there?

I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
pop-ups and spam.
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.

Would you like your
johnson long?
Would you like a
12-inch schlong?

I do not like my
johnson long.
I do not like a
12-inch schlong.

I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
I do not like pop-ups and spam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Need Viagra
for your willy?
Spurt like Niagra
Make her silly?

Not like Viagra
Not like Niagra.
Not for my willy.
Not make her silly.
I would not click them here or there.
I would not click them anywhere.
I would not click pop-ups and spam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you? Could you?
in your car?
Read them! Read them!
Here they are.

I would not,
could not,
in my car.

You may like them.
with wifi.
You may like them
on the sly.

I would not, could not with wifi.
I would not, could not on the sly.
Not in my car! Don't make me lie.

I do not like my cheating spouse.
I do not want a refinanced house.
I do not like my credit card debt.
I do not want to make a bet.
I do not like them here or there
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like pop ups and spam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you
on a train?

Not on a train! Not in my car!
Not at starbucks! Not for horny Asian fucks!
I would not, could not, on the sly.
I could not, would not, with a guy.
I will not click them with a mouse.
I will not click them in my house.
I will not click them here or there.
I will not click them anywhere.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Say!
With wet lesbian housewives?
In your future lives!
Would you for brand new kitchen knives?

I would not, could not,
with wet lesbian housewives.

Would you, could you,
for Vicodin?

I would not, could not, for Vicodin.
Not with wet housewives. Not in future lives,
Not on the sly, Not with a guy.
I do not like them, Sam, you see.
Not from starbucks. Not with horny Asian fucks.
Not from my house, Not with a cheating spouse.
I will not click them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!

You do not like
pop-ups and spam?

I do not
like them,
Sam-I-am.

Could you, would you,
with a goat?

I would not,
could not.
with a goat!

Would you, could you,
with a bloke?

I could not, would not, with a bloke.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not have barnyard fun.
I will not have it til I cum.
Not on the sly! Not with a guy!
Not in my car! Don't make me lie!

I do not like your anal probes.
I do not like humping ear lobes.
I will not click them in a house.
I will not click them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!

I do not like
pop ups
and spam!

I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.

You do not like them.
SO you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may I say.

Sam!
If you will let me be,
I will try them.
You will see.

Say!
I like pop ups and spam!
I do!! I like them, Sam-I-am!
And I would do it in a boat!
And I would do it with a goat...
And I will screw it in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And up a tree.
They are so good, so good, you see!

So I will eat wet lesbian housewives.
And I will eat them with kitchen knives.
And I will eat them in my house.
And I will eat them with a mouse.
And I will eat them here and there.
Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!

I do so like
pop-ups and spam!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Sam-I-am!

I'm not talking just to hear myself talk, ya'll.

Dan lost Prince

Dan lost a good old dog over the weekend. I love the pictures of Prince. And Dan's post about missing his friend more than he thought he would.

We have a 12 year old sweetie named Diva. She doesn't see so well anymore. You start to see time pass so quickly in the eyes of an old dog.

Halley needs a "good wife" robot

And I want one too.

Holy! No wonder everybody drank themselves to sleep.

Listen what the man said

I've been thinking about this a lot the past few days.



"Within a few years, thousands of quality news, entertainment, and information sources will spring up on the Internet, each serving a highly specific community of interest. Around many of these micro-media, a web of intercommunicating micromarkets will emerge in a band of spectrum invisible to conventional marketing. The stars of this new medium are just now emerging. Don't think Dan Rather, think Chaucer. Cervantes. Think Dante. Don't think Jerry Springer, think Rabelais and Shakespeare. Don't think George W., think Winston C. Don't think Oprah, think the Oracle at Delphi.

"Human beings have always discovered magic and magnificence within themselves. It wasn't created by media marketeers--they just saw an opportunity to make a killing. The magic was there all along. It still is."

--Chris Locke, Gonzo Marketing, 2001.

Simply Glorious

Shelley and Emily on voice and betrayal.

And so the next generation's crop of poets and artists, their themes of love and betrayal, emerge here. See it in Shelley's post?

Splendid.

building out da blogroll

adding some orkut friends, new and old, to the blogroll, one bloggie at a time. arrggh. How hard would it be for them to let me set my OWN preferences for my friends list? Instead of showing the email field in my long list, let me say I want to see the URLs. At least that would save me two clicks to get the URL to paste into my blogroll.

And yes I know about blogrolling.com. And yes, I will be giving in to automated maintenance of my blogroll one day soon. Always a romantic, I enjoy building it by hand. But maintaining it? I suck at that.

Retainer, no brainer

So I signed one client on retainer finally. It is a relief having the pressure off. Enough regular dough to survive. And since it's a little over half time, enough extra time to take on other work, or to spend time thinking about what to do during those extra hours, which, in my case, could manage to fill those extra hours up.

Almost a year after my Ketchum divorce, I've found some normalcy. Some regularity. As in, I'm not hustling every single day. And I can't quite get used to it. Once we stop racing for our lives, slow down and walk for a mile, it's hard to see a good reason to pick up the pace again.

Anyway, I don't know how long I'll be at the current arrangement, but between having been retained, and the extra projects floating in, I may be able to make a dent in my upcoming t*a*x* bill, which I don't even want to think about.

So. ladeda. Should be happy. ladeeda. yowsa yowsa.

and so forth.

Orkut's down right now.

Flickr's up.

If I haven't answered your V-mail yet, please don't hate me.

If I haven't answered your email yet, please don't hate me.

More from "can't cut us a break day": Dumb women get horny quicker.

Researchers say that Viagra doesn't work for smart women.

"Men consistently get erections in the presence of naked women and want to have sex. With women, things depend on a myriad of factors." Dr Boolel added that "the brain is the crucial sexual organ in a woman".

I.... I.... I... um.... Can I just say.... that.... uh....

never mind.

And in other health news...

Women, on the other hand, deal with workplace stupidity by drinking themselves to death. Only "executives" though.

Executive women were three times more likely to be problem drinkers, writes researcher Jenny Head, PhD, an epidemiologist with the University College of London.

and

"This combination of putting in a lot of effort at work but receiving low rewards in terms of being valued, income, and promotion seems to be a potent risk factor," she explains.

Shhh. If you listen really hard, you can hear the lady VPs at the 666 Corporation rushing into the restroom to stuf this article into the sanitary-product disposal bins.

You trying to give me a heart attack?

Well this article pisses me off. Go to page two and look at a couple of the survey questions:

Hostile people will agree with statements such as: "I have often met people who were supposed to be experts who were no better than me," or "I frequently have worked under people who arrange things so they get all the credit."

I would have wanted to sock somebody in the solar plexis after reading those stupid fucking questions. How about IT'S TRUE AND IT MAKES ME CRAZY, and I'm not even a man. And while I'm at it, thanks for the condescending "Temper Tantrum" headline.

...and they wonder.

menstrual cramps in my knee

[[men click off to read JOHO.]]

What I did to my knee, I'm not sure. I cleaned today--I think that was it. And I'm being very bad about footwear, now that I'm addicted to cluncky clogs that make me several inches taller than theh 5'5 or so I am. But that means when you bend down to pick up (it had to be) 250 pieces of crap on the floors of this house, you're actually (I'm actually, I would have to say in group) bending lower than you would (I would), or even could, because the soles of your (my) clogs are like four inches above the ground (sea level).

So I think that had something to do with it.

I don't mind. I guess. But it HURTS SO BAD! I am not sure what one does to one's knee (my knee) by stooping down to reach lower than one is tall (I am), but if you can figure it out, and if you're a man, and if you've had this knee problem, then you know what it's like for your wife and/or girlfriend when she has her period, because it feels just like this, except expanded it up the thighs to the abdomen (abdomint, jenna calls it) and lower back.

So now we can all relate nicely to my pain, and advil isn't working.

Just doin what I do

doo bee doo bee dooooo.

Halley on being a mom

Lovely, Halley.