I am a Woman Blogger

No, that title isn't a 12-step meeting introduction, nor is it link baiting in my case.

It's an important part of who I am.

I am one answer to the question: Where are the women bloggers?

I am the answer, "RIGHT HERE!" And right here, and right here, and right here.

Every woman blogger is an answer. Not every woman blogger has to give a shit about the question. But if a women blogger or a few hundred or thousand women bloggers DO care about the question, AND answering it, then good for them. And if they decide to have a conference, and charge $99 to get in, and put trojans and sweetener in bags and hand them out, good for them.

Even better for them that they do what Lisa has done, and listen to women and men who attended the conference and who were pissed off about the bags of condoms and the mommy bloggers in need of bibs, pissed at having to listen to the sponsors who made the price of $99 registration feasible, pissed about the food, location, connectivity, and more. Good on Lisa for hearing both the anger and the joy of the women and men who came from near and far, good for talking about it in public, good for deciding some things need to change, good for standing your ground on things that don't need to change.

Good for not apologizing for your voice.

When it comes down to it, folks who have been around these parts for half a decade or so will tell you this: what we do here is secondary to who we're doing it with. I trust Lisa, her judgment, admire her passion, and I congratulate her for what she and Jory and Elisa have done, and what they're about to do.

I don't know if I'll participate in the BlogHer Ad Network or not. But I sure am ALL FOR giving BlogHers new tools and opportunities for getting paid to write.

The economic implications of writing online -- of taking the "USE ME" out of user-generated content -- are officially undeniable.

Not everyone gets a book deal. Not everyone has ins at publications who still pay for contributed articles. Not everyone wants to be wed to their 9-5 job. Not all women with kids want to commute to an office every day. If one little piece of one little ad network on one little blog gives a boost to freeing women -- vocally and economically -- then I don't know what the hell there is to gripe about.

You go, Lisa. You go you star spangled girl.

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eight going on nine

Podcast writers needed

From the adrants forum:

Please alert wrtiers [[sic--they must really need help!]] you know who live in Boston, Chicago, Las Vegas and Miami that iToors, the company that creates the Orbitz Insider podcasts (orbitzinsider.com) is seeking people to write for us immediately.

They MUST live in the city.

Please have them send samples of their work (audio writing experience preferable) to us at subs@itoors.com IMMEDIATELY.

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Proud Parent of a Sushi Enthusiast

This album is powered by BubbleShare - Add to my blog

Think SUSHI! This is an album from a Junior Sushi Eating Contest that Jenna participated (regurgitated?) in this spring. HOW PROUD CAN A MOM BE? Listen to the audio play-by-play to find out how it all came out in the end. (blahahaha). As you can see, there were some--um--moments of suspense getting the sticky California rolls down. Big Tip: Water.

post courtesy of BubbleShare and Qumana - two great tools that taste great together...

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The Best BlogHer Wrap Up Award Goes Toooooo

M' Levy, for ArtificialSweetner/Purge!

Tags: leslie, kicks ass, every single day, writes like a pro, damn woman, love her, blogher, blogher06, sweetner, splenda, condoms = Powered by Qumana

Her photos her photos her photos...

And put it in a box for me....

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Dave on Women Used to Be Kind of Interesting...

but it's old now. i could write these comments about women for him they've been replayed so many times.

i'm not sexist. why should a guy be called sexist just for pointing out women look beautiful. If i said they were ugly, I'd get called out for that too. I can't win. Men can't win when it comes to gender issues. Damned if we do, damned if we don't. But i a woman says a guy is handsome, we like that, blah blah babes blah blah women blah blah men and women blah blah same for men blah blah can't have it both ways blah blah RSS blah blah OPML blah blah Guy Kawasaki blah blah BlogHer blah blah bimbos blah blah you attack me blah blah personal attack blah blah blah can't work with people blah blah blah I like to stay positive blah blah wah. {{Now link to me for i will feel loved.}}
--jeneane for dave

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Jeneane to George

"I liked the Internet better when it was all words."

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The hardest working girl in blog business--errr business blogging

Toby Bloomberg gets a hat tip from the WSJ -- and well deserved.

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The Morphing of the Mel

from hunk to drunk.

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good night jenna bean

jenna i want my archives to tell you how much i love you. i don't know if archives will be there in 20, 30, 1 year or whatever/however, but i live in social networks now -- that's like having friends in real life, like we do, except online --  one of which is the blogosphere, and if my archives go away those people can tell you that even when i suck at it and even when I lose my cool, seem sad, or say no WAY are you getting the aqua marine DVD and you throw a fit in the car like your two but you're eight---EVEN THOUGH AND BECAUSE OF ALL THAT AND WITH AND WITHOUT A HUNDRED OTHER DAYS JUST LIKE THIS I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH.

If i could give you my squishy gross heart still all beating and pumpig to stick in your pocket i would, but that is kind if sick and twisted to even say, nonetheless, i know you'll get my drift. Dad and I look at you and sometimes when you're in your room or walking down the road or playing with the dog or reading, we stop and wonder how you came out of us and grew into such an amazing human, not to mention in like three weeks time, or that's how long it seems, even though we went shoe shopping today and you're a size 4, a 5 in Sketchers. You were a bean on the ultrasound. I don't get it. You were just a minute old and now look at you with your beauty and your art business, lilaslilies.com, don't worry, we'll get something up there one day soon, don't be mad at me if it doesn't happen right away, but do you know what I mean? You are brilliant and cool and so funny you scare us. Alan Murphy was right when he said you are a comedian and your daddy said people will come from all over to see you. Just don't be afraid.

I know you are afraid to go into third grade--that's why you've been so up and down. Thank you for telling us when we said: Jenna, what's really going on? What's this all about--really? And you told us you were afraid. Afraid to get a mean teacher, and we said--remember this--you aren't going to school alone. We're here to make sure it's good and straight up, and have you had a bad teacher yet? Okay i want you to be happy and excited--don't be afraid.

I have to sleep now because in the morning you're going to stumble into my room and the first words you'll say are: What are we going to do today?

I hope everything.

I love you.

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all things gaaah

everything has to be done and i'm behind. i apologize to my lovely clients with whom I am nearly keeping up and adding value if you don't count the fuzzy brained responses to those tough conference call questions, like:

"Are you there?"

GAAAH!

Even Nigerian spammers are starting to get pissed off because I have fallen down on my responsibility to not delay. I can't STAND letting them down.

take my wife, please.

i am having brain activity that i think is either close to a stroke or coma--right now words going through my head are assembled thusly: rackety taket too do you do dooo flow through and blue is the news take a cruise and don't lose, rah rah rah whoopie da da da.

Right--slap that in a post and click. See how 'pro' you look then genius girl.

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what you get for free...

...is me this late at night on the dock, waves of sleep licking the poles, the cadence to rely on. and still i wind down in that hurt head place mixed mashed confusion in the frontal lobe, globe space and time, what planet am I even on? where you keep up and i keep time still standing from the car that wiped you off the pavement, must have been doing 50, your shoes blow off on impact: at that moment, you are sparks. straight from childhood to grown up, don't look down, real job, real life, real car, real world, except for the waking. Waking into clutching, clutching is holding on before the first morning breath, terror speaks loudest, no screams: not again. Fear meet rage, good to meet you before i destroy you, lets lock eyes, see if you can find the me i lost, the you, losing best what i want least to lose.

it's not rocket science you know.

it goes back to the pines, always back to the expanse of field dotted with thick pines and sap so fresh, the place of surprise - late afternoon i fear most the black sky about to open up, take me, I'm so far from the back porch, what does safe mean, barely see the barn from here, crackle of lightning, how dark can the day become, and the inchworm falls from the farthest branch down his silken string, my mouth agape, watching, lands on my tongue, real not dream, i spit and spit and run between bolts of so-white electric: which is worse, the worm or the storm? neither one, i find out; it's losing your daddy.

Eat worms, crash through static cascading flashes, but nothing compares, not really, to what gone means.

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good find hi central elements you

tune in to progressive artistic soul.

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tony tony tony has done it again

tony reminds me how to blog every time.

"i have the lowest self esteem of anyone you know. and i have the dumbest reason for it than everyone you know. if theres an archeologist in the house, throw ten thousand years of dirt on this blog and then dig it up and you will see that all of this was a way for me to play chess with the demons in my head and the spectacular battle almost always ends up exactly the same way as when jacob wrestled the angel - in a sore draw where both parties limp home with new names."

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ironic

i just got spam with the subject line "uterus agenda."  i strongly believe my uterus has an agenda. I believe it's secret, closely guarded and modeled after christine dolce's agenda to take over myspace--oh wait, she already has.

my uterus could give hers some tips, although i'm sure her uterus is way more gorgeous. maybe her uterus could teach mine some new tricks. my uterus likes to take charge. my uterus is a good business woman and a mean stepmother all at the same time. my uterus held my kid but doesn't care much about her now. in fact, i think my uterus is narcissistic. my uterus has an agenda alright.

uterus agenda. i guess that's what i should be tagging with these days.

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sometimes i look at domain names

My disbelief that no one owns wikipenis.com is slightly greater than my disbelief that someone does own peniswiki.com.

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Fish Ebola Not Yum

I'm sad to hear that my piscine friends in Lake Ontario are dying of what sounds like a fishy version of Ebola. The virus, viral hemorrhagic septicemia, has been described as a fish version of the plague, with a hit-or-miss attack on its victims.

Although not all fish are hurt by the virus, the picture of those that are is not pretty. It destroys the lining of blood vessels, causing internal bleeding; infected fish often have bulging eyes with bleeding around the sockets, pale gills, distended, fluid-filled bellies and corkscrew swimming behaviour.

Apparently it's okay to play with sick fish, but scientists recommend against ingesting them.

Fisheries and Oceans Canada says it is safe to handle infected fish, even if they are dying or dead, but it doesn't recommend eating them.

I don't know--they sound kind of appetizing what with the bulging eyes and fluid filled bellies.

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Global Boiling

Talked to my good friend Michael OCC (I'm down with OCC, yeah you know me) yesterday and found out it was 334 degrees in Toronto. Holy Crap that's Hot!

The heat index in the ATL today is somewhere near 520 I think, and I heard the Breadbasket of America is baking croissants in the street.

Gore in 24! Gore in 24!

I asked MOCC if Lake Ontario was boiling. He said yes. I thought so. Put the shrimps on the bar-bee because the walleye bass will be done soon!

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So i guess feed of the day means you're the feed of the hour.

'cause i all gone now. ;-)

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Feed of the Day

Wow, we're feedster's Feed of the Day over here. Guess that means I should say something interesting. You know, probably because my uterus, Dave Winer, and BlogHer coverage isn't the most fascinating bloggage I've ever contributed to the sphereoblogs.

No wait, why don't YOU ALL say something interesting. Maybe people will adopt your feed and hug it and love it and take it home to their aggregators where it will remain nurtured and cared for all the days of its nat'ral life.

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The Either Ors and the Both Ands

There are far to many words on the Internet. You realize this when you shoot to hell your computer keyboard and your space bar starts to suck and all your words run together, meaning you have to exert yourself by backspacing and retyping and whatnot.

So rather than add to that overabundance of online words, I’m going to borrow the already-published words of others to  fight the growing mass of bullfunk spewing from the mouths of johnnie and janie marketing and internet punditry.

Bullfunk I say. That's what I said.

When you grow up and recover from all of the damage you walked through to get old, you realize that richness and passion nearly always resolve to things that make you throw up.

In other words, everything goes back to puke.

But then, as I mentioned, my spacebar is having issues. And so:

I didn't say either of those things. But then, I was being a bit hyperbolic in that piece. Cluetrain was hyperbolic too. The difference was, Cluetrain was for everybody. People of Earth, it began. When Chris Locke wrote we are not seats or eyeballs or end users or consumers. We are human beings and our reach exceeds your grasp. deal with it... the we was everybody. -- --http://doc.weblogs.com/2006/08/02#hurrycaneSeason

 AND

The connections between and among our World of Ends add AND value to every node with every community that forms, every blogroll link added.

It's Reed's Law in action. When you link to this post in your own blog, the fact of the act ANDs me - enhancing and reinforcing my ties into the World of Ends, adding value to us both and all.

Our shared World of Ands can become so strong that together we can even face, perhaps even prevent, the End of the World.

Yeah, so I'm a hippy. So AND me.

--http://michaelocc.com/2003/03/you-and-me.html

AND

And this little imaginary war with the other bloggers was going well, in my mind, anyway, until I discovered that suddenly all of them had surpassed me in the Technorati rankings, and it was then that I realized that WAR IS STUPID ANYWAY. Violence is never the answer, and people who think so should be beaten. And when C-list bloggers go to war, the only winner is Haliburton.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t pick an adversary, but for God’s sake, don’t pick someone who actually cares about this sort of thing, and for God’s sake, don’t actually TELL them you’re at war, just do it in your head, and for God’s sake, don’t fight with a boy, because boys are stronger, and even though I was once beaten up by a girl, that doesn't detract from the truth of this statement, it only makes it harder to digest. EVENTUALLY, WE ALL COME TO REALIZE THAT TRUTH IS HARD TO DIGEST.

RECAP:
War is fine so long as:
1. You only fight with the weak.
2. Once the weak become stronger than you, you reconcile and have sex.
3. You don’t ever tell the person that you’re fighting that you’re at war.
4. You don’t hit girls, and if they start to hit back, run, because they’re surprisingly accurate and strong.
5. You go to church afterwards, or at the very least DRIVE by a church, even if it’s a church that sells firearms.

--http://www.onechildleftbehind.com/2006/07/treatise-on-blog-war.html  (by brandon, now ducky)

quack.

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He's Not Our Friend

I take blogging personally. I take the projects related to blogging that I'm involved in personally. That's because online is half my world or better. I am here at least half time. I make half my income here. And I don't apologize for it. I made more than half my income through online clients during the ecommerce boom. I don't remember apologizing for that either. I am a grown up. I can handle my personal and marketing related activities accordingly. When they intersect with this space, I'll handle them however I please. If you disagree, you'll go away. And if my clients disagree, they'll go away. In the mean time, aren't we having fun!?!?!

Glad we've cleared that up. Now, for Dave Winer.

As I said, Dave's comments on BlogHer that several folks have linked to made me want to toss my cookies or drive over a cliff like two chicks in a Buick or whatever kind of car it was in that movie he referenced. Why? Because he set us up. I knew he was setting us up when he started talking about BlogHer favorably MONTHS before the conference; I knew he was setting us up when he started linking to Elisa so frequently (Dave's ulterior motives reside consistently in his hyperlinks); and I knew he was setting us up when he declared he was going to miss the conferences that were important to his business and wallet to attend BlogHer. I said it out loud to more than one person: He's setting you up.

Divide and conquer. It's a really old trick.

Amyloo says Dave is not our enemy. I say Dave is not our friend.

Dave decides to point to Shelley now that she's criticizing a women-run conference. I predicted it as soon as I read her post.

It creeps me out, Dave's comments about babes-n-sexy-n-guy-to-girl-ratios, and his using a photo from BlogHer as his  banner on Scripting News. My reaction: like seeing Jesse Jackson's face on an old Ford pickup truck driving through South Georgia: Somebody's up to no good.

You can call me crazy, or you can call me after you've spent five years here and have had a number of Dave encounters. But that sweet-sexy-babe-techy-women-nerding-out still makes me want to puke.

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health and wellnesssss

So, jenna and george are playing Sequence downstairs just now, and I hear her ask him about acupuncture, which all of these years she tells him she has thought was pronounced acu"puncher" (or PunchHer in honor of BlogHer). She knew just enough to think it had something to do with punching needles in to your skin. Which, well, it sometimes feels like. But I get the idea she was imagining a hole puncher. Again...

George explained,"No, you see, what I get is called acupunCTure."

And she says, "Oh, you mean you get punked?"

blahahahaha!

In other health related news I am in a good holding pattern right now. I want to thank every one of you who have written in support, have shared your uterine loss celebrations, and have pledge helped when the surgery takes place especially if george is away. Weee! I appreciate it. When I get those overwhelming waves of, "but what am I gonna do about...." I go, "It'll be okay." At least this week.

I go back in three weeks for another ultrasound, and am busily focused on getting Jenna back to school on 8/14. Things in the uterine area have settled down--something that actually happened during the BlogHer chat. I'll spare you the gory details. Whoever has been praying or puncturing voodoo dolls in my honor, it's either working or not working respectively. Again, Thank You.

More later, I gotta go get punked.

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BlogHer 06 Live Chat Recap

Those of us on the chat during BlogHer on Saturday had what I would say was a good time--mostly thanks to Denise who live chatted the sessions she attended. How amazing was she, navigating the conversation and relaying it to us.

She was our mole. Our liaison. Our tour guide into the real-time dimension of the event. Her live chatting skills should be patented. And, the rundown of the conference happenings on her blog -- the goods and bads -- are definitely worth a read. I for one want to say again: THANK YOU DENISE!

Next year I would suggest either we divide Denise into four people, necessitating the grafting of several more arms and hands (which I bet would be painful), or we have a designated chatter in each session. Each session could have its own chat window, which would let remote folks have the option of following more than one session at a time. How cool would that be? Also, if there were a way to keep track of some remote-chat questions (incoming) for end-of-session Q&As when appropriate, that would be great too.

In trying to follow the Live Bloggers for the event, I noticed several who either got too tied up in the activities or had too many connectivity challenges to actually live blog the sessions they were slotted to blog. Perhaps, since chats like Gabbly Chat have RSS feeds now, as much can be translated through live chats as through live blogging?

I didn't get all the chat transcripts (I think some morning chats are missing), but what I could copy and paste from the feed without taxing my aging laptop to death, I put into a BlogHer 06 Chat blog. Have at it.

You'll notice a substantive difference between the times Denise was with us giving us the rundown, and the times when chatters were left in the cyber-halls to talk amongst themselves. ;-)

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Dave Does BlogHer

Parts of this post made me want to drive my car over a cliff too.

For substance and clarity, read Liz Henry, who nails it.

I disagree with only one thing Liz says: "It is not like Dave is an especially awful example of sexism..."

Uh, yes it is.

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Nick Mike Mike Nick

Lots of hubub over ValleyWag's Nick Douglas doing a potential story on Attorney-cum-tech-reporter Mike Arrington and his investments in technology companies. According to Mike, Nick (whom Mike emailed accidentally just last week) is now emailing FOMs (friends of Mike) to see if Mike has made investments in their companies. One FOM emailed Mike Nick's email about Mike. That FOM inferred that Nick was writing a hit piece on Mike.

Mike discloses his investments on his blog. Nick knows this. Nick explains that he didn't mass email anyone--he was instead looking into a deleted comment on TechCrunch about one company. I figured maybe he was going to write something FUNNY.  I rely on Nick to be funny. I rely on Mike to write about web 2.0. Let's let it happen.

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