August 04, 2006

good night jenna bean

jenna i want my archives to tell you how much i love you. i don't know if archives will be there in 20, 30, 1 year or whatever/however, but i live in social networks now -- that's like having friends in real life, like we do, except online --  one of which is the blogosphere, and if my archives go away those people can tell you that even when i suck at it and even when I lose my cool, seem sad, or say no WAY are you getting the aqua marine DVD and you throw a fit in the car like your two but you're eight---EVEN THOUGH AND BECAUSE OF ALL THAT AND WITH AND WITHOUT A HUNDRED OTHER DAYS JUST LIKE THIS I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH.

If i could give you my squishy gross heart still all beating and pumpig to stick in your pocket i would, but that is kind if sick and twisted to even say, nonetheless, i know you'll get my drift. Dad and I look at you and sometimes when you're in your room or walking down the road or playing with the dog or reading, we stop and wonder how you came out of us and grew into such an amazing human, not to mention in like three weeks time, or that's how long it seems, even though we went shoe shopping today and you're a size 4, a 5 in Sketchers. You were a bean on the ultrasound. I don't get it. You were just a minute old and now look at you with your beauty and your art business, lilaslilies.com, don't worry, we'll get something up there one day soon, don't be mad at me if it doesn't happen right away, but do you know what I mean? You are brilliant and cool and so funny you scare us. Alan Murphy was right when he said you are a comedian and your daddy said people will come from all over to see you. Just don't be afraid.

I know you are afraid to go into third grade--that's why you've been so up and down. Thank you for telling us when we said: Jenna, what's really going on? What's this all about--really? And you told us you were afraid. Afraid to get a mean teacher, and we said--remember this--you aren't going to school alone. We're here to make sure it's good and straight up, and have you had a bad teacher yet? Okay i want you to be happy and excited--don't be afraid.

I have to sleep now because in the morning you're going to stumble into my room and the first words you'll say are: What are we going to do today?

I hope everything.

I love you.


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