August 02, 2006

The Either Ors and the Both Ands

There are far to many words on the Internet. You realize this when you shoot to hell your computer keyboard and your space bar starts to suck and all your words run together, meaning you have to exert yourself by backspacing and retyping and whatnot.

So rather than add to that overabundance of online words, I’m going to borrow the already-published words of others to  fight the growing mass of bullfunk spewing from the mouths of johnnie and janie marketing and internet punditry.

Bullfunk I say. That's what I said.

When you grow up and recover from all of the damage you walked through to get old, you realize that richness and passion nearly always resolve to things that make you throw up.

In other words, everything goes back to puke.

But then, as I mentioned, my spacebar is having issues. And so:

I didn't say either of those things. But then, I was being a bit hyperbolic in that piece. Cluetrain was hyperbolic too. The difference was, Cluetrain was for everybody. People of Earth, it began. When Chris Locke wrote we are not seats or eyeballs or end users or consumers. We are human beings and our reach exceeds your grasp. deal with it... the we was everybody. -- --


The connections between and among our World of Ends add AND value to every node with every community that forms, every blogroll link added.

It's Reed's Law in action. When you link to this post in your own blog, the fact of the act ANDs me - enhancing and reinforcing my ties into the World of Ends, adding value to us both and all.

Our shared World of Ands can become so strong that together we can even face, perhaps even prevent, the End of the World.

Yeah, so I'm a hippy. So AND me.



And this little imaginary war with the other bloggers was going well, in my mind, anyway, until I discovered that suddenly all of them had surpassed me in the Technorati rankings, and it was then that I realized that WAR IS STUPID ANYWAY. Violence is never the answer, and people who think so should be beaten. And when C-list bloggers go to war, the only winner is Haliburton.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t pick an adversary, but for God’s sake, don’t pick someone who actually cares about this sort of thing, and for God’s sake, don’t actually TELL them you’re at war, just do it in your head, and for God’s sake, don’t fight with a boy, because boys are stronger, and even though I was once beaten up by a girl, that doesn't detract from the truth of this statement, it only makes it harder to digest. EVENTUALLY, WE ALL COME TO REALIZE THAT TRUTH IS HARD TO DIGEST.

War is fine so long as:
1. You only fight with the weak.
2. Once the weak become stronger than you, you reconcile and have sex.
3. You don’t ever tell the person that you’re fighting that you’re at war.
4. You don’t hit girls, and if they start to hit back, run, because they’re surprisingly accurate and strong.
5. You go to church afterwards, or at the very least DRIVE by a church, even if it’s a church that sells firearms.

--  (by brandon, now ducky)


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