June 30, 2004

A dog's blog / A cat's blog

Again, from my brother-in-law (who really should start blogging himself) I got this via email today. Hadn't seen it before. You? Since we're on the topic of animals... tee hee.

*/Pet Diaries Uncovered /*

*As seen in a dog's diary:*

*8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!*

*9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite*

*10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!*

*11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!*

*Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!*

*1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!*

*3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!*

*4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!*

*5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!*

*7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!*

*9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed!! My favorite!*


*/As seen in a cat's diary:/*

* Day 183 of my captivity...*

*My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.*

*Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs.*

*In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.*

*There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.*

*I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.*

*But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...*