August 12, 2008

duncan's stalking my searches again.

How else would he know about this uncharted discovery on, which has released a bone-i-fied picture that proves once and for all big foot exists right here in an undisclosed North Georgia location?

How else would Duncan have come upon the same news announcement Jenna and I had just finished looking at because she has been on a big foot hunt lately herself, having set aside "Nessy" for the time being, and that we followed some youtube videos of bigfoot to just a couple of hours ago. (Incidentally, who knew THAT domain would be available -- the guy grabbed a goodun there, eh?).

Same guy that titled his JPEG image of one of science's most important discoveries in centuries "Thawed.JPG."

you know you're a redneck if...

ANYWAY, the point is Duncan friendfeeded this bigfoot finding and the news that the big foot hunters are taking their prey to Palo Alto for a news conference to show off their catch. ('Course they found him dead--but they always say that in Georgia. See, all you gotta do is drag him inside and it's legal).

And ANYWAY the point being dear daughter Jenna is now asleep not in HER bed but mine because she saw "Freezer Big Foot" thawed, and was grossed out to the point of nightmares.

So all this better be for real, and not a bear with his face shot off, or else someone other than me is taking a turn reading Molly Moon books as a bed-time distraction tomorrow night.


August 11, 2008

R U Southern?

Tomato Sandwiches. That's what makes August worth living in the heat soaked south. I'd never had a tomato sandwich until I moved down yonder to Atlanta. My friend from the Mississippi Delta introduced me to them a couple of years ago, and it's my favorite lunch -- Bar. None. -- during summer when you can get REAL tomatoes. With Hellman's Mayonnaise more than $4.00 a jar, the Tomato Sandwich has become a bit of a gourmet specialty. Let me tell you how the Real Southern Woman makes them, so you can impress your yankee friends and relatives:

Get a big-ass, plump, vine-ripe, richly-red tomato.
Get a loaf of unhealthy processed white-ass bread, the softer the better.
Get a BIG-ass spoon to dip into a big-ass jar of Hellman's Real Mayonnaise.
Cut 1/4 inch thick slices of tomato, NOT sideways, but starting with the bottom/butt of the tomato upward toward the top/stem. (more fleshy pieces this way).
GLOB mayonnaise on both pieces of bread.
Pile 3 slices of tomato on one piece of bread to cover the mayo.
Sprinkle the tomatoes LIBERALLY with salt, and even more LIBERALLY with black pepper til you can hardly see any red.
Put the sandwich together.
Lean over paper plate.

Enjoy--From Miss Manners Book of Southern Luncheons