February 18, 2006

No Lilacs

Hadn't seen the weather report. Hadn't heard from anyone Up There in a couple of days. Now I know why it's so quiet. Will be making calls tomorrow. Love you.
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an open letter to flickr

Dear flickr,
You may remember me. i have been on your service since before it decided just to be a photo sharing site.
In fact i think i was probably like in the first dozen or two users of your alpha-beta soup, when clicking on the "flickr" button meant you were launching a chat with other folks online and you had your little gutter area at the bottom of the screen where your pix lived and you could drag and drop them into chats and scare people with pictures of stewart's dogs.
and don't get me wrong because stewart and caterina are two of my favorite netizens i've never met, plus they are/were Canadian and i seem to be doing really well with the Canadians this year so i sure am not meaning any disrespect to them personally, BUT:
you can't write community guidelines like this -- maybe you thought you could because now you're part of a BigCo -- but oh dear someone should have told you this!
no no no. you can use humor to poke fun at yourself, but not to chastise your 'community' members--very very bad move. a public relations no-no.
dear flickr--stewart where were you when they sent this out, on a beach someplace? (maybe you have a diff job now i haven't been keeping up as well as i should.)
For example, you can never talk like this:
If you do we'll make your photostream private and remind you of this Guideline. If you don't heed our warning and continue to make similar content public, we'll terminate your account without warning. This applies to your Buddy Icon as well.
When you were small it was cute -- sort of -- to have an attitude. now you are yahoo and it doesn't fly to boss us around and talk about termination after you have built a business model on trust with mostly artists and people who care about pix.
AND i'll terminate your fucking buddy icon, buddy. that's what we say when a service that lured us into uploading ten million photos (okay, lured DOC into uploading 10,000,000 photos) decides to make lots of rules and talk about terminating you if you break one.
you don't do that shit online.
if you do it, you don't say it that way.
dear flickr, can we go back to alpha and look at funny stewart's-dog pictures and nose-picking pictures and pig-penis pictures? (BTW does that pig-penis pic constitute as the "genitalia" you refer to in the guidelines? i'm not sure as you didn't say anything about farm animals...)  
Remember we laughed about those pix just 2 yrs ago--guess what flickr, and now you grew up and it's not funny? still is funny to me.
Guess what flickr, most of my stuff on your service isn't my own or well it's pieced together because most of it was uploaded 1,000 years ago when the service was in beta then re-upped.
I would be honored if you would terminate me.
and before I go, one other thing you never say to your Valued Users is "report you to authorities" -- that is a sticky area for you I would think - and I am thinking reading this thinking that you hired an intern to write these  guidelines or that perhaps you have lost your fucking minds.
don't talk about my behavior and conduct - what am i like a 9-yr-old and you're my baby sitter, flickr?
now i will say, though I heart stewart and caterina, i am now helping bubbleshare spread the photo-sharing love. so you can think i'm biased, but i really don't think so because i was on flickr before most people were on, and i think flickr does different things than the BS I heart, like for one we make fun of ourselves, not the people who use BS, and number 2 we don't use words like "authorities" and "conduct" and "genitalia." At least i haven't. At least not outside of casual skype calls w/ other bloggers. ha ha.
We don't want these parameters to be a downer and we want everyone to have a good time. If you don't feel that you can abide by our Community Guidelines as outlined above, maybe Flickr isn't for you. Plainly speaking, if you don't want to abide by our TOS and these Guidelines, don't let the door hit you on your way out!
flickr that's just not funny.
terminate me.

jenna's president's day confusion

Jenna got out of the tub this morning, where she thinks the best, and it went like this:

"Mommy, did the president shoot someone?"
"No, that was the vice president."
"You mean Jimmy Carter?"
"No, no he was president a long time ago."
"You mean George Bush?"
"No, he's President. I mean Dick Cheney, he's Vice President, like runner up."
"Did Dick Cheney shoot Jimmy Carter?"
"No, no. Jimmy Carter was President and he's fine. He shot his hunting buddy. They were bird hunting."
"Oh, who was his hunting buddy?"
"Just a man, an older man--pretty old, close to 80."
"Is he okay."
"Sort of--he's in the hospital."
"Well I'm glad Jimmy Carter's okay."

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tags not folders on the desktop

i was thinking today how i'm still double clicking folders to see what's in them, and how a tag cloud would be an easier way to get at what's in my desktop, and maybe i assign diff colors to diff types of data, but essentially i would like to tag the docs and apps on my desktop. can i do that?

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February 17, 2006

laptop skins?

i have lots of visual ideas right before i go unconscious from sleep. these days that happens what, oh, every two minutes?

so i was recently (like ten minutes ago) in this state, wake-dreaming about a meeting with a bunch of us from some team or other at a client's office, and whatever great idea we had, i forget what it was, we had skinned on our laptop lids.

This kind of neoprene skin slipped over the edges of the top of our laptop screens, and it had a logo i didn't recognize in my sleep-dreamness at the bottom of the skin, with this bold orange and white design (bubbleshare anyone?) and then some slogan in black in the middle, so that when all four? five? (don't quite remember) opened the lids of our laptops in the meeting, they all looked uniform, displaying this quirky message. Then I looked down at my face down blackberry and you know what? same skin. WHOA.

Some people dream about waterfalls.

What about the real estate on the lid of a laptop? Probably too awkward and expensive to bother with--or maybe there are already customizable skins out there?

Me? I think I'm going to go fashion a "for lease" skin now and slip it on my Acer. Right after my nap. ;-)

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February 16, 2006


let me be the first to say Good Morning fellow time-zonians. hopefully i was also the last to feed you words last night.

if i were dr phil and you were a woman i might say: Today is yours; put your phears in check and take what's due you. take everyone else's stuff too.

if i were oprah i might say: every morning is grace, especially when you have my money, and you have to be open to the grace of the universe to make this kind of money, so may your today be all about open grace. integrity. universe. grace. open. grateful. journal. woman. integrity. deeds. grace.

if i were tom cruise i might say: HAAAAA! TODAY!!! MY DAY!!!! WHHOOOOO!!!

if i were al pachino i might say: morning, yes. it's when the sun peels itself from sleep and smacks the moon hello. morning. morning, kid, doesn't come easy. not for the moon or sun. not for the winos in the gutter. not for the hookers slapping their pay in the hands of their johns. no. morning. morning doesn't come easy.

if i were ellen i might say: isn't the best thing about morning finding those little sleep pellets in your eyes? isn't that like--whoo who visited my eyelids in the middle of the night and gave me little fairy birthstones? I mean mine, i like to save mine, have em in a jar actually, which you know doesn't go over so well with guests, i mean i guess that's because i keep the jar in the guest bathroom, well, and I guess because it's not really a jar anymore, it's kind of bigger than a jar, okay I've been doing this since I was seven, so, okay it's actually more of a tin i keep them in--a charlie's chip tin to be...well, it's not like I'm selling them or anything i just started saving my eye sand one day and one thing led to the next....

but i'm me, so, go have a redonkulously good day!!!

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And by the way, why cheney et al didn't release to the media sooner?

Dudes, he was tanked:

Cheney said he had one beer at lunch, but that no alcohol was consumed during the late afternoon outing.

Lie. Only reason he brought it up was that someone saw him drink at lunch, so he had to cover that base. He's had DUIs, he still drinks, he was impaired.

Wonder why it took so long to find out about the story--damage control and verification of who saw him drinking.

Ambulance too crowded to go with the best friend you shot? How about your breath would have given it away.

The white house is run by two active alcoholics whose all-or-nothing thinking is stinking up the entire world.

Ambulance too crowded? Right, Dick.

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Waited for two hours in the dentist chair today to be sure my very back tooth doesn't need a root canal before i do the crown on the one in front of it that has just about cracked unto pieces. i don't know. the whole dental experience wipes me out. i didn't even get hurt there today, but it wiped me out and I just fell asleep when i got home into dreams where I was weeping and somebody had died but I'm not sure who. I have lots of dreams about people dying and I'm sobbing and clinging and it feeeeeeeels very real, and in the dream I know who it is, but when i wake up my own alertness protects me--i lose who i lost.

that and I'm behind on 203 things I simply must do, which includes taking the time to pay bills et al. where are the home apps with web 2.0--where's my "foldr" that folds the laundry and puts it away for me, or "Cookr" that boils the water and sprinkles in the angle hair noodles? Where's "Covr" that makes the beds? I know there's rumba and I want one--that's the little suck-em-up that runs around your house vacumming right? SEE? that's one home 2.0 app that makes it easier for web 2.0 people to keep their lives 2.0 together.

Having offline clients too--those whose business is in tech but whose web presence doesn't matter as much (yes, there are still companies who make stuff that we don't yammer on about here--puts me in a schizophreniconsultative headspace which turns me into a headcase or an edgecase or whatever.

okay, so that's where I've been. More soon.

If you haven't taken ANY KIND OF BUBBLESQUE RELATED PICS YET, please get thee to the contest and win thee some goods. February 20th is right around the corner -- or should I say cornr.

much love.
your blogstriss.

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February 14, 2006

Holy Laugh Riot, Batman

Jeneane Tells What TMA Stands For

this is an audio post - click to play

Jeneane Perseverates Over Her Teeth

this is an audio post - click to play

Where's the best place to start TMA Alpha?

Okay--there are a few of us who really want to start this centralized analyst wiki/collaboration thing to bring whatever we can find (and begin to create NEW non-$3K-reports) to the net.

I was looking at jotspot, because i know how to use it, but that seems too internal for this effort. We want ya'll to be able to easily access it as we grow our body of findings (oooo!). A blog won't work--the end result isn't chronological in nature. Where can you easily write together, like 10 people or so (with the ability to scale in a wikipedia like fashion), that has an easy user interface and easy admin, that could either be a hosted solution or else hell I'll pay $10 a month to host it somewhere.

i dunno what the business model is. but i know I've had two good ideas in a week and damn i have other jobs. I'd love to build a voiki (maybe we'll have a voiki subsection of the TMA site), and the analyst disintermediation project has legs. These things I know.

or as they say in my neighboring state: That dog DO hunt!

TMA is the working name of the group/site. Stands for.... oh you can guess.

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love this shooting dick post

Let's just get it all straight -- the tough questions are over at jehng bangkok's:

I thought Dick Cheney was in a mfn coma then I read the news about him shooting someone in the face? IN THE FACE! Who in their right mind goes mfn hunting when theres real things to take care of like a trade deficit? It seems like Mr Chaney would rather be out shooting people in the face than sitting behind a desk at the white house. When will this insanity stop? How is Dick going to justify his actions?

"Uh yeah uh uh uh *studder studder* *drool* I’m so uh uh duh sorry for uh shooting you in your umm face *drool* it was an *drool* accident uh uh I was uh aiming for uh that unicorn *drool* *studder* *shake* *shake*”

You can’t even really blame Dick , you’ve gotta blame the people that actually put the shot gun in his hand because you know with the claws he’s got theres no way he could open any door or cabnet.

Right on.

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And All I Wanted to Do...

Was see the "Cluetrain: Seven Years After" panel and get my book signed.

Now apparently every one knows we're coming.


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February 13, 2006

Damn technology...

Our fourth podcast--now known as the lost sessum session--answered all of the questions you ever wanted to ask, including Jeneane's take on what's missing toolwise from the internet music scene and how it parallels the tools that have developed for the written word online. And George's take on everything important. Damn. When I went to post it, Audblog just flaked. Didn't do anything. Nobody home. I was hoping by some miracle it would show up. Of course, nada.

I'll call the Gman later. When his blood pressure goes down. ;-)

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The sessum sessions, part 3 (audblog ate part 4)

this is an audio post - click to play

The sessum sessions, pt deux

this is an audio post - click to play

The sessum sessions, pt 1

this is an audio post - click to play

I want an audio wiki = i want voiki!

So if you heard the audblog post below, you know that I've found an old tool I used to use that I somehow thought was swooped into Google's acquisition of Blogger (because I used audblog before google acquired blogger), and I logged in with my old phone number and remembered the pin. THERE IT WAS. All my old info.

The surprise? I've somehow accumulated 65,500+ available audio posts. I've paid for them, hell I could still be paying for them. The service was only $3 a month back in the day. I don't know--does that mean I've been paying for like 120 years, or does it only seem that way?

Anyway, what I'd LIKE to do is give you all the number and let whoever wants to audblog post away here on allied with your own audio posts. The problem is, that would mean giving each and every one of you the login phone number and pin, which in turn would be giving each and every one of you the ability to knock me off of my own account forever.

Did I used to think anyone would do such a thing? Used to be they wouldn't have.

Can I think of folks who are already lining up to snatch away my admin rights? Oh yeah.

SO, what I need, Audblog People at Listen Labs, is a way to let people post to my blog of choice (this one or one I create) while keeping MY admin rights password protected. Let me set up the posting privileges of others. Help us start audio wikis and discussion boards with this technology. FUCK broadcast-model podcasting. Let's get in one place and talk about shit, one at a time, OR, call a buddy or two and record.

Audblog could do this. But who the hell are they now, and would they bother?


I have 65,500 posts available to share.

Give me a way.

[EDIT: I bought the voiki.net domain. now what?]

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this is an audio post - click to play

Anybody Seen Any Tag Spam Yet?

Have to imagine it's close if it's not here yet.

Buy my penis enlargement pills HERE today.

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It's the Tools, Stupid.

I could spend the next two weeks getting into this discussion and why I think it's the right discussion heading in the wrong direction, attempting to poke holes in many of the folks who long ago embraced their own Swiss Cheesedness.

So, instead of aggravating you and raising my own blood pressure talking about cheese and power laws, I made my comment over at Shelley's place.

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February 12, 2006

kids can get along.

analyzing the analysts

There's been some great discussion on the idea of taking the keys from the big analyst houses who hold their research tight (and charge on both ends) . With good reason, traditional analyst offerings are another of the old-school approaches that have been made vulnerable by the Web.
As more independent new media pros and smallcos are doing the jobs that used to take place INSIDE the enterprise, we find ourselves wishing for some of the tools we had access to while inside the firewalls of the borg. It's really tough for us indies to get to the data we need, especially at the thousand-plus dollar hit we're expected to pay to download a research paper we might use a few times.

I've had some emails from folks asking, aren't we free to use what's already out there from firms like Gartner, Forrester, IDC, etc.? First of all, they don't release the most current, relevant stuff--it's not in keeping their business model because they charge a premium for the most current/relevant findings.

I learned from my old dealings that you're not allowed to cite anything unless you get permission. What I remember the case to be in the 1990s was that you could only cite research of a firm like Gartner if you were a client. Of course we'd get our hands on reports--always with the caveat, "we're not supposed to have this. don't leave it on a bus."

Looking at the policies of some BigAnalysts -- like Forrester's citation policy, Gartner's Copyright and Quote Policy (including the information on "quote bans" being imposed on violators), and IDC's Terms of Use you'll see that the language is pretty strong:

FROM IDC: (Hint: if you've ever used an IDC stat in your powerpoint without getting written permission, you're a violator)
External reproduction of IDC content in any form is forbidden without IDC's express written permission. External promotion and usage covers sublicensing, leasing, selling, or offering for sale IDC content, as well as any public display, including but not limited to:
  • Advertising
  • Press releases or media alerts
  • Promotional materials and collateral
  • Web sites, bulletin board postings, and online services
  • External presentations

Accordingly, information (research and analysis) contained on this server may not be copied or posted on any network computer or other broadcast media. Copying and/or modifying the information, in whole or in part, is expressly prohibited. Linking back to information at idc.com does not require permission.

From Forrester (HINT: don't do it, but if you do follow these rules):
  • All syndicated Research produced by Forrester, including Forrester weblog content accessed through the Forrester.com Web site, is proprietary to Forrester and subject to copyright and other intellectual property protections.
  • All external or commercial citation of the Research is prohibited without our express written permission.
  • All citations must be presented in accordance with Forrester's core objectivity value and Integrity Policy.
From Gartner (HINT: you KNOW you've broken some of these rules):
Gartner, Inc.'s name and published materials are subject to trademark and copyright protection regardless of source. To use the "Gartner" name, take excerpts of Gartner research or quote Gartner analysts, a usage request must be submitted in writing to Gartner Vendor Relations for approval. Such approval is at the discretion of Gartner Vendor Relations. Gartner reserves the right of refusal.

Gartner, Inc. is the definitive source of objective technology thought leadership. To protect our reputation for objectivity, we require the appropriate use of our company name and research. The Gartner, Inc. name, intellectual property, trademarks, or logo may only be used commercially in connection with advertising, sales materials or other commercial efforts with Gartner's explicit approval for each instance of use. This policy defines the criteria that will be used to issue that approval.


I would love to be involved in bringing a wikipedia-like analyst unfirm site -- what David Weinberger called an "Open Source Gartner" --onto the net, not because of the long-standing debate over analyst integrity, but because it's a natural evolution of what I need to do my job in a new way.

I AM suggesting that the big analyst business model is all wrong for the net, and that their client base -- or their NEEDS base, we who need the information -- is changing. More and more of us are OUT HERE. And when you add us up, someone among us will have some part of the information that, all combined, equals everything the analysts have and more.

David also notes that Information Week's cover story is on the integrity of big analyst cos -- I'm off to go read that now. But again, I'm not suggesting the undoing of the analyst firms--I'd rather see them make some moves to change their business models in such a way that allows them to more freely share the vast stockpile of information they house.

In the mean time, let's at least start getting what we can together in a centralized, accessible, updatable, collaborative place... No?

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i hate being tagged...

But i like Josh Hallett, who designed this cool looking blog, which you'll never see if you're an aggregator junkie, so I'll do my best to tell my fours:

Four Jobs I've Had
- Door Greeter at K-Mart
- Parts Picker at International Harvester
- Senior E-Business Writer for Ketchum
- Tech writer on Kodak's id badging system that ran credentials for the Barcelona Olympic Games

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over
- The Red Violin
- Cheaper By the Dozen 2 (and cry every time. not okay.)
- Caveman's Valentine
- Glengarry Glen Ross

Four TV Shows I Love to Watch
- Raven
- American Idol
- Judge Hatchett
- The Weather Channel

Four Places I've Been on Vacation
- FDR resort, Runaway Bay, Jamaica
- Rochester, New York
- Toronto, Ontario Canada
- Pensacola Beach, Florida

Four Favorite Dishes
- Mamasans Vegetarian Coconut Noodle Soup
- Schallers burger on a hard roll, through the garden
- Country Sweet hot wings (sweet, hot, juicy--oh!)
- Pizza at the Pontillos in Batavia, NY

Four Websites I Visit Daily

- Mine
- BoingBoing
- Bloglines
- Technorati

Four Places I'd Rather Be

Four Bloggers I'm Tagging
- Frank Paynter
- Gary Turner
- Andrea Roceal James
- Elaine