October 06, 2004

Brokaw and the Blaargrrrrs

No one can slur the word bloggers like Tom Brokaw.

I watched him after the debate last night as he checked in on the pulse of America by talking to two bloggers: some Cox woman I guess I should know, and some dude who also pretended to have this pulse thing going on. They needed no credentials. Apparently for mainstream media now, that you say you are a blogger is good enough.

Apparently these two folks are popluar political bloggers that I should be ashamed never to have heard of. Since I have little respect for political bloggers -- nothing personal you mob of matt drudge wannabe opportunists -- I watched Brokaw's discussion with them out of idle curiosity.

The way "blarrgrrrs" were represented was fascinating to me. The woman (she looked 19) blaagrrr was on my left, the guy (he looked 22) blaagrrr on my right. Each of them was stationed behind what I now understand is the blogger uniform of the political season: The backside of an open laptop screen.

If you don't have one, GET ONE. It is now required. Especially if you have eyes to be a poliblogger on TV one day. If you opt to sit behind a PC -- a desktop model?! -- you have no right to call yourself a blogger. Do not pass go. Do not post.

Since the lid of an open laptop is your only credential, I advise you to choose wisely. Something in stylistic aluminum or flight-case silver is the way to go. The female poliblogger had silver. I think the guy had slate grey.

His mistake. She ate him for lunch. Her stylish laptop lid made her seem bold and opinionated. Everyone likes that in a poliblogger.

My fellow bloggers, for three minutes last night, and frightning minutes they were, as I watched the 20-something polipundits of blaggrrring take center stage with Tom Brokaw, I wished I were a politician instead.

I think I need a vacation.

You send me, I'll blog it.