November 16, 2005

Dear Cigarette that I Want

Dear smoking,

I want to tell you some things, the first thing is that I love smoking and I love to smoke and it's legal and I don't think there's a thing wrong with smoking as long as you quit between 50 and 60 and as long as you're not my kid. That's just how I see it and I think it comes down to genes and also what The Man puts in cigarettes today because my grandpa smoked until he was 76 and he started at like 7 and he never even coughed. Same with all my Italian relatives and now a days you have to buy good cigarettes like American Spirit brand in order to avoid inhaling sugar and insecticide although since Reynolds bought my beautiful brand (i think that's who bought them) i am not sure i know who to trust. but i did trust them in that i love them with my very being I would wrap myself around an American spirit this instant if I could, and i would inhale so deep I'd disappear. All my thoughts and worries and complex problems and ideas would adhere to the plumes and make perfect sense.

Smoking did you know they say that i used to use you to push anger down? i don't know what the fuck they're supposed to be talking about because i'm not fucking mad at any fucking one except when they say that about you. I stick up for you all the time because you were my buddy, smoking, and when everyone else gave me grief, you sat there in your cellophane and paper not giving me one ounce of trouble. sure, yes, well blah blah senate commission.

I saw a thing yesterday at the store that takes tar out of cigarettes before you inhale them and i know that they're not too far away from coming out with that safe-smoke cigarette and do you know what smoking? when they do i am so there. I am right there. I am in line overnight for the concert of my dreams.

did you know i fell in love with you at 11? I stole for you. Every day. You know that right? I bet not many kids did that for you or know you like I did.

Anyway, I have to go now but i wanted you to know that no matter what you're always a part of how i think and feel, even when you're not around. as soon as you clean yourself up you come back and see me and we'll talk about how we can maybe get together again. because sometimes my head just won't clear out no matter how hard a shake it, and i get that messy cloudy feeling or i start just bawling for no reason or i get pissed enough to break shit, and smoking i know you're the one who can talk me out of those places.

in the mean time, you try not to hurt anybody now and I'll see you pretty soon.


DeanLand said...

This too shall pass.

Jeneane Sessum said...

and come and pass and come and pass and come and pass and come and pass and comeand pass and come and pass and come and pass and come and pass and come and...

George Girton said...

In the war they sent people off with cigarattes and sure why not? Just don't light up at night when they can see you with their gun and don't light up in the daytime when the smoke is floating up making a target anyone can see that you're not supposed to be there. And they had their woodbines and they had their camels and their lucky strikes (LSMFT) and in the sixties there were mint beedies that didn't have any tobacco and they were as healthy as you can possibly imagine. Because everyone knew that it was good for you because they could read and listen to advertising but sort of talking amongst ourselves we know it can't really be right. Kind of like lobotomies don't reduce suffering they actually, in the final analysis, cause it.

Juke said...

The use of pesticides on tobacco fields isn't regulated the way their use on food crops is.
That may have something to do with the cancer rates.

misterorange said...

Hmm. Good ole ciggies. I quit that shite too, and my asthma pretty much assures me that I'll stay off them for life.

Besides, I hit the clove cigs, not the regular kind, so I sorta went hog wild for 9 months until my (assuredly bleedling) lungs finally convinced me to stop.

Well, that and my wife. But it was all pretty painful.

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