June 27, 2006

watch me watch your back and wait

I'm not over Meg being dead. I'm just not. If I'm holding her spirit back from it's journey to that better place, then she'll just have to wait a few days. I'm sorry Meg, I'm not so good at letting go either.

Tom wonders what's it all about and how good, or not so, we've become with all the fine tools 2.0 we have at helping one another. It's a good wonder to have. Clearly, we can do better. Where is the virtual life saver--the webring of support that's really, truly Always On, that can be there 24x7 without sacrificing any one person's ability to function and work and live while still being able to "Be There."

Or are we There at all?

We've got the tools to figure out better ways. We've got people who give a damn. For Ebay's Sake, we even have Skype!

So what is the missing piece? I don't know.

And to a lot of people, these words about Meg from Meg's friends may seem cryptic.

I've gotten more than one email asking, what happened? What are you all hinting at?


That's what I want to know. To my knowledge, the word has not come from her family. Her daughter did send me a very nice email saying that they would know more soon and let us know--she thanked us for caring, but caring about Meg was and is easy. In the end, it's their decision what to share.

But as one of those people who have shared some very personal emails with Meg, I'm not going to pussy foot around. She had been depressed, despondent, not okay for some time. But at times lately, she seemed to be doing better. My god she had been through a hell of a lot. But there were other things going on too. And while I am not jumping to conclusions, I want to know.

The way I figure it, there are four ways we leave this world--natural causes, accidentally, at our own hand, at the hand of someone else. One thing is clear: Something bad happened. And I want to know what. Not out of a sense of morbid curiosity. Not out of a sense of selfishness. But because she was a friend.

So this is a notice of sorts: I don't intend to blog about work 2.0 or web 2.0 or clients 2.0 until I find out precisely what happened. And if there is anything Meg would have wanted us to do--anything she specified to her family--I want to do that next. So in the mean time, I'll wait. Because I want to know.

Does it matter?

When it comes to Meg and what she shared, it matters to me.

And then when I know, I'll grieve it and let it go. And her spirit can move on along the journey Doug speaks of . In the mean time, Meg and I are waiting.

And not blogging.

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