I'm in a lot of pain tonight. It's not characteristic of me, whatever health disasters I've had in the past, to be in recurring pain like this. Pain, I am reminded, puts you in a weird place. In this case, me. In a weird place. It's hard to focus enough to dissociate. That bites.
The docs are working on figuring it out -- got lots of blood taken today. Got an intestinal kind of test scheduled for Monday. Have to do one of those "mail your poop in" sample things. Ever done one of those?
I'm not too proud to say it in front of God and MySpace: I'll be handling my own excrement tomorrow.
HA! Take THAT Web 2.0!
So the docs can't as of yet figure out if its obgyn-related, intestinal/GI related, organ/infection related, something-worse related, or just one of those chronic conditions people wind up living with by their own good fortune and a lifetime of stress.
I suspect it's more than one thing. I am never ever a simple case. I am a medical case that makes doctors choose. Perseverate. Second guess: Do we stem the tide of blood down there or lift off her skull and fix her brain? Flip a coin, offer it up, and all of those things. So far I've had good doctors. Mostly.
I'm thinking that finding good doctors works the way social networks work online--it's him to her to him to her to them to bob's your uncle. It's all about trusted sources. It's what makes financial services work. It's what makes retail work. It's what makes the net work. We listen to those we trust and they steer us to those they trust.
It all goes back to the hyperlink.
And somewhere in traversing the network of physicians, caregivers, and supportive friends is someone who can get me out of pain and make sure my baby's mommy is okay and my husband's wife can smile at him.
In the mean time I'm practicing what I preach. The serenity prayer works for just about everything. Especially since I can't take ibuprofen until I'm done sending in my poop and I don't want to take that mor*phine-vic*o*din combo platter called Dilau*did unless I really need it.
July 12, 2006
Posted by Jeneane Sessum at 9:22 PM