August 23, 2004

Potty Time

I've been working my behind off this last 8 days. You know I don't claim that very often, so when I do, it's true. Late night. All weekend. Full-time retainer style, for at least a couple of months.

And this is a great thing, given that July and most of August were workfree.

Anyway, that's why I haven't been writing much. I've been busy writing for pay. You people start paying me, you'd be surprised how often I'd show up.

The first day I met with this new client, I left the house at 7:30 to drop Jenna off, and got so engaged in meetings that I never took a break. I left there at 3, got back up to carpool just in time, got stuck in traffic, and it's 4:30 before I remember I have a BLADDER already!

That's when I did the math--I hadn't gone since 6:30 that morning. No lunch. No pee. No smoke. (Of course not!) Just lots of thinking and working.

Anyway, I finally get home with Jenna around dinner time, I leave her fumbling in the garage and hightail it upstairs, running past George, who is heading off to his work, to whom I shout--"I never went to the bathroom!"

And he's wondering what I'm talking about. Wondering how the meeting went. Wondering where Jenna is.

"I never took a break!" I screech it as I round the corner to my destination. "I left here with Jenna and never took a potty break, and I can't FEEL my bladder anymore. I felt it two hours ago, but I got stuck in carpool and then stuck in traffic. I'm completely numb."

He tells me, "Well, that's not so healthy."

And I know he's right.

"That's business," I say. And I go about mine.

For the next hour, he tells me, drink filtered water. He has to go, but he leaves me with a pitcher-size glass of water by the bed, and Jenna and I check out a DVD while I guzzle water until the feeling comes back to my torso.

The moral of the story is: Smoking is good for your health because it reminds you to take a piss.