May 24, 2005

Introspective Blogger's Open Letter to No One

People, look, it's very hard to be the kind of blogger who writes personal stuff and then people here comment about it. That's very hard. Sometimes I feel like Joi, with all his notariety. And then I remember, I'm not Joi. Whether YOU are Joi or not, it's hard to be a blogger. It gets boring. It gets hard. And when it's not boring, it is way too exciting.

Sometimes people yell at each other.
Sometimes they fall in love.
Sometimes they would like to cut one another with big long blades.
Sometimes they think about screwing behind the birch tree.
Sometimes they make funny jokes and readers might laugh.

It is hard to be a blogger. I'm afraid I might write something that others enjoy reading. And then what? Jesus you might tell me so. AND YOU MIGHT COME BACK AGAIN! AND AGAIN! Creating UNENDING expectations. You have no idea the pressure bloggers are under. And what if you don't come back? Then, do I really, you know, exist online? What about offline?

A am too shy to ask you to comment. I am certainly too, you know, to actually yell at you for not commenting. That's just not me, because I think we should be kind. Because blogging is hard enough work. It's almost like getting paid, except different.

So really, that puts me in a bind. It is very hard to be a blogger. I want you to tell me things. But Not Everything. Only Certain Things. You obviously should read my Policy and Guidelines so that you can understand that. I don't want to know all the things you think. It's too overwhelming. Start your own blog. Just tell me here what I think. Over there say what you think. And then can we link to each other?

Blogging has rules now. I can't believe you didn't know that.

You should not break the rules. Because blogging is hard. It is very hard to write down words every day into a box, and maybe someone might see it.

As a blogger, I don't want to be noticed. I am here for me. Not you. It is very hard to be a blogger. You people who comment here, you have it easy. Who do you think you are having it so easy? I, me, I'm not even sure I like any of you!


Today I toyed with not having comments. And then I went to the bathroom. And then I toyed with having comments back. So in the mean time all I did was wipe and flush. I wish you knew how hard that is. In the old days, we did not flush. Wipe yes. Flush no.

That's what I mean. It's so hard being a blogger.

Really hard. Day in. Day out.

How do we do it?