Lungs burning for a smoke

I have been seriously considering reupping on the nicotine this week. It will be a year in july since a whisp of smoke has passed these lips. Since then I've had to go on hormones, had surgery, developed high blood pressure, gained untold pounds, have worse sinus problems than ever, requiring a month on antibiotics, and more.

This week, I've wanted one every day. I believe it will help bring me back into whatever balance I sometimes approach. You can tell me all the reasons why that's a stupid opinion. I miss it every day. Still. I wasn't prepared for a year later and a longing this big.

I swear, when I'm gone and they come out with the report that says a certain amount of cigarette smoking is actually homeopathic in treating allergies and asthma, YOU SUE THOSE MEDICAL DOCS AND DEMOCRATS FOR TRICKING ME INTO QUITTING.