May 17, 2005

Tickling IBM's Big Blue Funny Bone

Right Back At Me: Responsible Engagement in Inhaling and Exhaling from James Snell. Man, I was going to write up the breathing guidelines, but James beat me to it!

Guidelines for IBM Breathers: Executive Summary

Know and follow IBM's Breathing Conduct Guidelines

  • Breathing, circulation and other forms of biological functions are individual processes.
  • IBMers are personally responsible for the air they inhale and exhale. Be mindful that the air you consume is being shared by others.
  • Identify yourself -- name and, when relevant, role at IBM -- when you breath.
  • Breathe in the first person. You must make it clear that you are breathing for yourself and not on behalf of IBM.
  • If any air you exhale has something to do with work you do or subjects associated with IBM, use a disclaimer such as this: "The air I exhale is my own
    and does not necessarily represent IBM's positions, strategies or opinions."
  • Respect polution, smoking and financial disclosure laws.
  • Do not disclose IBM's or another's confidential or other proprietary information while breathing.
  • Don't exhale on clients, partners or suppliers without their approval.
  • Show proper consideration for others right to breathe
  • Find out who else is breathing and exhale towards them
  • Don't pick fights, be the first to smell your own bad breath, and don't alter previously exhaled air without indicating that you have done so.
  • Try to add value, and for goodness sakes use a breath mint.

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