BLOGGER'S DESPERATION FOR LINKS CONFINES HIM TO HOSPITAL BED
DALLAS 2:47 PM FRIDAY. Marek J., the rarely-linked-to Polish Blogger, today announced a new worst practices program. After a long argument with heads of his Ukranian satellite office over whether or not this Gonzo Marketing shit actually works, Marek J. made himself physically ill, requiring a stay at a Dallas area hospital, where he was admitted and immediately connected not to the Internet, but to several IV lines, which he says feels about the same.
Despondent over the lack of links to soapbox.radiopossibility.com, Marek skimmed Gonzo Marketing for clues two nights ago, and re-read The Cluetrain Manifesto to find the clues he might have missed the first time around.
"No one ever fucking links to me," said J. "I just got sick of it. I mean, like, really ill. I write on the Cluetrain list. I write on my blog. I comment wherever there's an open spot for me to wax poetic about corporate assholes. I give and give, but links don't come my way."
This blogger's latest program, designed to get Blogaria talking about him, has run into a snag, however. The loveable Pole has discovered he can't blog from his hospital bed.
"I guess I forgot," he said after popping his 2:00 pain medicine. "Here I am killing myself to get links and I'm not even there to see them. I don't have a laptop. Or a connection. Ooops. OUCH! Nurse! Please, that was my .... "
Hoping for a run on Daypop himself, Marek J., is planning to donate a kidney next week.
"I have to try this again--you know, with a little better planning on my part next time," he said. "Of course, if your company is in need of a consultant, I can be outta this place lickety split."
Marek J.is available all weekend for paid assignments. He is mostly lucid between pain medications. If you are interested, please call before 7 when the shit really kicks in.
For more information, visit Marek's Blog or contact him before Sunday at 214-818-7514. The next pill's coming at 7:00 p.m. Dallas time. Call at your own risk.
