Here it comes right now right now, the last time I had one I decided I'd blog it right then and there--those thirty-second rushes that tell me there is no reason in the world I shouldn't be lighting up a cigarette right now, of course I should, what is the big deal it's only one, maybe I'll just have a puff, and/or just light one, in the garage, quiet, so many cobwebs to untangle with my eyes, and I step outside of my body and see myself inhale and it's georgous, and I don't care what you tell me, it is sweet to see me smoking and if you don't think so you don't know the uptake just a little bit burning, I am finally full, fill me up, fucking take away the empty space, crowd me with feeling, hold, hold, and exhale, out with the bad, baby, out with the bad, and in again, filling, feeling so relaxing because these are my moments, with me, with my head and no one else, me sucking myself inside to push down the crap I don't feel like letting go. That's where it is, that's why we do what we do.
So there.
And no, I didn't have one, but I might as well have.
