What happens if the work of mourning does not proceed on this detailed and stately course, if the enormous energy available for the labor of grief does not find its proper tools or associations? It can become what Freud calls "pathological mourning." Like those spirits of the dead in Greek literature who, if improperly mourned, return to cause malevolent mischief--devastating crops, destroying whole towns--the psychic energies of mourning, if repressed, can wreak grievous harm. They can turn inward into a dangerous process of self-devouring (as when we "eat our hearts out"). They can metamorphose into what we now call depression, a condition for which Freud preferred the more resonant, tradition-laden term melancholia. And, most tragically, they can give rise to self-hatred and self-destruction. "The patient represents his ego to us as worthless, incapable of any achievement and morally despicable, he reproaches himself, vilifies himself and expects to be cast out and punished.... This ... delusion of mainly moral inferiority is completed by sleeplessness and refusal to take nourishment, and ... by an overcoming of the instinct which compels every living thing to cling to life."
from: The Work of Mourning. by Gray, Francine du Plessix
source: American Scholar, June 22, 2000.
via: 
COPYRIGHT 2000 Phi Beta Kappa Society
from: FATHER LOSS AUTHOR WILL EXPLORE FATHER-SON BOND by Bill Dunn The Capital Times
source: Wisconsin State Journal, September 24, 2002.
via:
| Almost a year. One month to go. Hello beautiful filter! Hello handsome american spirit! I hope you are well in someone else's hands/mouth/lungs. Know that I miss you, but I am glad you have moved on. signed, waiting to inhale |  Remembering... Originally uploaded by Jeneane. |
| Pics on flickr from back when it was beta were neat, you remember, and you could chat and pop pictures into your chat easy as pie? these early additions we should not forget. they are mostly, well, really funny. And not real pictures at all. Let us celebrate them. Together. |  boulderattack Originally uploaded by Chris Locke. |
I think I now know why I am drawn to certain bloggers and would rather piss on others.
Those I can do gang signs with all have gone inside themselves at some point in time. Then again I am dark. Thus the gang signs.
Thanks J and frank.
Now, to the story at hand. My dad was convinced I needed to call my step-mother, "mom."
The power of the fist, certain.
She did not want that. He did. It was the first time I told him to go fuck himself. The next time would be 17 years later.
IT was a huge source of tension as the other kids were lots younger and they had no problem swapping nouns. That is until they were older. Then everyone was confused.
Sometimes the words mom/dad were used and others their first names. Multi-personalities in that house. That is what happens when you go inside yourself and yourself stops letting you.
Anyway, amazing how freaky things can get when a parent dies. Does it occur to the living parent that by making you call the new addition mom/dad that you have the unique f'ng pleasure of buring two dads or two moms in your lifetime? How sick is that. I think if they make you call em dad/mom you should have the right to make them call the new addition the same name as their dead spouse.
That would prolly clue em in a bit.
I think if they make you call em dad/mom you should have the right to make them call the new addition the same name as their dead spouse. That would prolly clue em in a bit.
Sometimes the words mom/dad were used and others their first names. Multi-personalities in that house. That is what happens when you go inside yourself and yourself stops letting you.
