July 24, 2002

racetrack

George's post today tells where we're at. It's a big adjustment going from a physically and emotionally charged performance situation six nights a week at a five-star hotel in the opposite time zone to a messy livingroom where a four year old tests your patience every chance she gets. He's doing remarkably well; off tonight to buy a hard-earned fretless--I can't wait to hear how it records, how it sounds through his gear. We have so much work to do to hook him up with the right management this time around--maybe keep him from having to go so far away next time--Europe in autumn has a nice ring to it.

Meanwhile, back to the old responsibilities of momhood and dayjob, fatherhood and business. What I think we need is a vacation. Away from home, atlanta, routines, work, school everything. Fishing. Amberjack are biting in Pensacola. How hot could it be there now--any hotter than Atlanta? I'm not sure. As long as there's a pool and the ocean, it's good by me.

And what is the payoff? I don't know anymore. Once I had hopes that what we're doing right here, right now would pay off. I still have a glimmer--part of me wonders if Shelley isn't right. If I stopped doing this, would I follow through on the other, more important things? Or does doing this give me the confidence and energy I need to do the other, more important things? No answer yet.

The payoff, the checkered flag, who's in the race, who's gonna win. Used to be when George went on the road there were gigs to be had at home when he came back. Since 9/11 and the economic blunders of our current administration, ain't nothing extra going on. Corporations have eliminated entertainment budgets; parties are a thing of the past. The production business is tougher than ever--folks are conservative with their money thanks to our daily dose of bad news.

One answer is hightail it out of here, maybe to Europe, pick up and go. Harder for me than for George, but if it had to be, I could do it. The nice thing about my online family is that I could take you with me. Matter of fact, you'd be there ahead of me. That is an amazing feeling. That confidence thing I was just talking about.

No decisions to be made yet, but so much work to do; press kits to get done for George, CDs to make, dayjob dayjob, house, house, jenna jenna jenna.

and no sleep for the weary.

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