August 03, 2004

A post in which I urge you to feel sorry for me

I have a double ear infection, which doesn't mean it's twice as bad as a mono infection, but that both ears are infected, as are my (is my) sinuses (sinus). It also means that noises coming from outside of my own head are muffled, while noises made internally, through various bodily functions, are amplified.

I am tired of my own breathing. When I cough it sounds like a plane crash in my brain. Although the pain is over--it stopped last night when electroshocks turned into complete deafness--I feel like homemade shit.

Today I got antibiotics, sorry natural health fans. This is necessary so that I don't kill the people in my house who insist on MUMBLING at me, or at least that's how it sounds inside of my head.

Unless we're talking about Jenna.

I guess because she once resided inside my body, she got grandfathered in on the internal noise ability. She is the only person/place/thing outside of my own body that is amplified 220 times. Her whispers are shrieks. Her crying = my eyes shattering. Her playing is my root canal.

That's today. This is temporary. Tomorrow will be better.

In the mean time, if you're outside of me, speak up! If you're inside of me, shut up!