September 17, 2006

Valleyitis Myosis

Dear Valleyites,

You are not that cool.

You are not the smartest people in the world.

Many of you are not very street smart--if you came to where many of us live, you would be afraid of the shade of an integrated neighborhood. You might also be afraid of the lack of asperger's in the gene pool and the high number of female species representing mating possibilities.

Yes it is cool that you live in a Big Hub of Innovation, but please do not forget that just five years ago it was a Big Hub of Unemployment. Don't forget that nature is watching you. And what the fuck is this "Teh" thing all about? Can you people not type? Can you STOP with the "in crowd" lingo? I'm going to start speaking Pig Latin and pretend that all of the cool webby Canadians are doing it.

And does Mike Arrington dress you?

Maybe the answer is not to Flock to the Valley to "be part of what's in the air" (in addition to Dave Winer getting DSL service--jesus you'd think someone in Darfur just got a steak dinner with that problem solved), but to instead flock ANYWHERE ELSE, to Europe, to Toronto, to Macau, to Idaho, to Rome, to Schenectady to anywhere a conversation can be had by people who don't wrap themselves in hipness and lingo that hope to make them seem hipper and wealthier than their unemployed asses were five years ago--that is if they were out of high school five years ago. (Love you kids--now get outta my yard!)

Signed,
Grumpy in the ATL


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