August 23, 2003

Virus Conspiracy Theory 101

Okay, so here's my guess. It's a bit hard to follow, but all good conspiracy theories are. They also require some leaps of faith. But that's nothing new to you guys.


SOBIG.F apparently had its genesis on a porn usenet group. (No, it's not a link to the porn. so-so-sorry.)

Okay, you're with me so far--good name: so big / porn usenet site.

Actually, good branding job by the evildoers.

So, here's my theory.

It's the Bushes.

Jenna Bush and Barbara Bush, the President's daughters.

Yes. You see, my guess is that there were some, well, interesting videos of the girls on that usenet site. REALLY interesting. And, you see, my guess is that they were doing a thing or two with a folk or two that could make Monica and Bill look like celibacy poster children.


And MY guess is the powers found out--and I mean powers, not Powers, and they planted the SOBIG.F virus to bring down the net and to make it a national emergency such that they could come and seize the computers of every man, woman, and child until government geeks can figure out how to dismantle the GIANT BIG SCREEN Bush Girls Video that's coming to a screen near you (if you still have a screen near you) this September 11th.

So, what'd you think? Has all the good earmarkings of a 21st Century conspiracy theory doesn't it?

Or so it would seeeeem... ;-)