August 10, 2004

Pig Wave

He isn't gone after all. We saw him two days ago and realized he's been alive and well the whole time. They moved his pig house is all.

Problem is, it's August. The pig fucking stinks.

But that's not the real problem. The real problem is that they still have the two black labs and Stupid Boxer as well, who continue to gang up on the pig, barking and lurching and snapping at the pig perp like a mob of L.A. Police officers 'just doin there jobs.'

I'm sick of watching the dogs bully the pig. Apparently the pig is too, because he's started to run at the dogs. I didn't know pigs could run so fast. People, pigs run FAST when they decide to run. Holy cow! I would not want to be on the receiving end of a mad pig's jowls.

Still, there's three of them--OH WAIT--4 of them because now our stupid Boxer Mix Bando has started jumping the plywood the neighbors so classily installed to cover one of the many fence holes-----and only one pig.

So I decided that after the third dog-screaming-pig-mobbing fest today to call animal control. The conversation went like this:

"Hello--I'm calling because my neighbor has a pig and three dogs, and the dogs are ganging up on the pig, circling it and jumping at it, trying to bite it."

"Mmmm hmmm."

"So, I'm thinking I need animal control to come make sure the dogs don't hurt the pig, even though I don't think there's supposed to be a pig back there in the first place. I mean, I don't like the pig being there, but I also don't want the dogs to hurt it."

"Well, there's nothing I can do about that--they can have the pig as long as they have two acres."

"They don't have two acres. They have 3/4 of an acre. It's a sub-division."

"OH, WELL, then you have to call code enforcement."

"But I'm not so much concerned about them having the pig as I am the dogs trying to attack the pig."

"Well, if they're not biting the pig, there's nothing I can do about it. Are they playing with it?"

"I don't know if they're playing with it. They circle around it, bark, lurch at it, and try to attack it. Then the pig tries to charge at them."

"Well, unless the dogs are biting the pig, you know, biting and making it bleed, then there's nothing I can do."

"Again, I don't know if they're biting the pig. I'm in my kitchen window. I see them trying to attack the pig."

"Still, unless the pig's hurt--like lying down--there's nothing I can do. Is the pig running around?"

"The pig doesn't run unless it's charging back at the dogs. It's standing. I don't see that whether he's standing has anything to do with it."

"I'm jus saying, unless the pig is actually hurt, there's nothing I can do."


"The way it is, ma'am."

I got the number for Code Enforcement. I'm a woman with a mission.

And if that doesn't work, I'm calling Gomer back citing the "Animal Creating a nuisance" ordinance.