November 08, 2005

Holiday on Uranus

Well the kids are off school again today, and what with the state of education in Georgia, why not. Another day off won't ruin the kiddies' chances of living in the Governor's mansion one day.

bada bing!

Hope you enjoyed the ElmiTaste fun yesterday and the introduction of one Mr. Rage Boy as chief chewing officer. Yes, ElimiTaste is a client, but they didn't just find us bloggers by accident. They've been reading blogs and throwing some spare change to bloggers for a while now. They're your mouth's answer to Big Gum, and you know I like answers to Big Anything (Big PR, Big Oil, Big Bang...)

So that's what's up with that.

More news coming on what the fuck I'm up to soon. Soon as I know.

On the hamster front, all is quiet.

We cleaned all three cages yesterday, which has become a family fun day here at the Sessum house.

It involves many materials and hands, including rolls of plastic, garbage bags, George Forman cleaning products, paper towels, bleach, shavings, fluff, buckets, and a range of other supplies. I am so grateful to my sister for bringing the precious little pets into our lives.

I had the bright idea of taking Coco the matriarchal escape artist and switching her cage with the Runt's cage (a nice double-decker abode) because it has those doors that latch shut with a hook. The move was intended to keep her inside the cage. Indeed, she has refrained from escaping for TWO WHOLE DAYS, which in the world of Coco is like 8 hamster years.

I can't say she's happy about it.

She's chewing the bars of the cage like James Brown on an assult and battery rap.

I read somewhere that this is not good for hamsters. I read that their teeth are so long, and go so far up into their heads, that continuous chewing in such a manner can cause their teeth to receed up into their brains, causing brain damage and/or death.

Can you imagine--you've got these long tusks-for-teeth, and you're trying to chew your way out of prison to go see your fuck buddy in the next cage, and all of a sudden BAM! Your teeth wind up in your brain?

Yowsa! That's gotta be worse than going off Effexor.

I thought about giving her some Zapp to chew. But last night I gave her a cracker instead. I thought, maybe something different to chew on would distract her from her mission of gnawing through metal bars. She ate the cracker and attacked the bars with new fervor.

I'm worried about her.

But not worried enough to switch her back to the easy-escape cage, so she can break out and go shit under my stove some more.

Happy Tuesday!