February 21, 2007

Blurb: Book Sluper's "Bummer" Is Not Cute.

Rule 1 for web 2.1 software: cut it with the cute.

"Bummer" is not an okay way to tell me your software doesn't work. Bummer is not an error message intro. Bummer is what a surfer might say when the waves aren't extreme enough for a good ride. Bummer is what a middle schooler might mutter when a field trip to the Braves game gets canceled due to budgetary cuts.

Do not, not ever, mistake me for a surfer or a middle schooler.

The more time we invest as an unpaid QA department in more and more companies' non-working products, the more 'social software' enthusiasts become anti-social.

Obviously I jumped enthusiastically into Blurb's Book Slurper. (Hey, I didn't get the "Like the Linux people without Linux" moniker for nothin'.)

Initial grade: D -.

Here's how it went:

1. what will your book be? (expensive, really expensive, or outfuckingrageous?)

2. Choose your basic page layout -- blog to book. (Wow that looks cool! -- that's why I didn't give it an F.)

3. This is me logging into Blogger with my NEW BLOGGER GMAIL login, as is required.

4. This is me going, "Bummer?" Did you just crap out on me and call it a "bummer"? You can't what? I USED my new blogger account login. Nice try. Why not say, "No one with more than 3 posts can play."

5. This is me saying "Hiccup. Hiccup"? And this is me blinking: "The 'fabled' CTRL+ALT+DELETE key?" Who told them they could talk like this. This is not conversation. This is bullshit. P.S.: Like CTRL+ALT+DEL is some minor deal?

6. This is me saying, "No I will not help you."


I'll wait another five years I guess.