June 23, 2003

the last one off the ledge is a rotten egg!

Who will join me in leaping to a firey death after reading The NY Times article on "The Corporate Blog"? Kudos to Halley for fine placement and well-deserved recognition, but now that I got that out of the way, for the love of all that is holy, I must take my own life.

The "corporate blog?"

The CORPORATE blog?

NEWS FLASH: CORPORATIONS CAN'T BLOG. ONLY HUMANS CAN BLOG.

Please, please, if a single executive is left among my readers, READ THIS from ME:

DO NOT blog as your business card title.

Do not blog as a CEO. First, last, and always, Blog as a father, blog as a mother, blog as a lover, blog as a gardener, a kick boxer, a trail walker, a brother, a sister, a pianist, a lover of literature, an auto freak, a war monger, a peace lover, a door hanger, a little league coach, a cross-dresser, a rock-n-roll fanatic, a gadget lover, a cancer survivor, a computer nerd, an antique train collector, a griever, a lover of striped ties or fancy underwear--whatever. Blog from your gut, your places of passion, blog about what brings you joy, what socks you in the middle and knocks the wind out of you, but for pete's sake, don't blog from your BUSINESS CARD TITLE!!!

"Legitimate excecutive" voices like Mr. Meckler's? OH MY, ouch. chest pain. severe. Let's read the humanity in the snippet pulled from his blog in the article, shall we? All together now:

"If an organizer truly pushes the intellectual side first with a well thought out and honest seminar program, critical and financial success ultimately comes one's way. Just like the movie `Field of Dreams' — `if you build it, they will come.' "

If you write one more word, I will puke.

Yes, I understand that legitimate executives like Mr. Meckler are passionate about their business. Fine. Then let them write a book about it. What they bring to THIS place should be something else, should be their genuine voices to share. Splash the seminar speak in along the way if you can't restrain yourself, but don't expect anyone to read it for long.

WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PRODUCT; WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT MAKES YOU WEEP. WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SERVICE; WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT MAKES YOU COME.

And I'm not talking field of dreams.

If we like you, if we connect on that level, then we meet in the marketplace, maybe.

Got it? Get it.

Because you won't win here. If you drive us out--if "corporate weblogs" drown out the genuine voices here--we'll find a new place, and the brains and hearts will go there. And if you try to chase us there instead of attempting to listen, understand, and talk with us, we will reject you there too.

God Bless Tim O'Reilly, the voice of reason in the article:

"He views blogging as a way for chief executives to do an end run around the company's public relations firms and "glossy brochures" and speak directly to customers and vendors."

Tim, may you live long and prosper. Please, reproduce soon and often and send your child bloggers here.

Look, I should be sleeping. I am tried. I tried. I thought, NO Jeneane, don't even write about it. It's too far gone. Let it pass.

But I couldn't sleep without addressing this.

Instead I called a blog buddy and said, "Have you heard? Weblogging is dead."

Okay, maybe I'm overreacting. But I fear I'm not. I said that the Jupiter conference was bad news--it had the wrong taste, flavor, and I was afraid the artificial sweetner would kill us all.

Diet Coke anyone?


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