February 03, 2007

will i be driving in cold weather before dawn.

she's just not good at it. sleepovers. our jenna. she wants to so badly, but by midnight, she's awake, homesick, and on the phone.

tell me we're not the only ones. the call came about five minutes ago... tears.... "mom i can't fall asleep... i want to come home..."

what you do first is try to hear them. they whisper to drive you crazy. when you finally hear them they say, i want to come home. you think: oh no why lord it's almost morning. then you say, go to sleep, and they say i tried i can't, then you say, well then just rest let sleep come to you -- lay down and rest your eyes -- and they say i tried that, and then you say count some sheep, and they say i tried that, and then you say try again and they do. but it doesn't work, so then you say you can't keep calling--if you come home now, you're not going on another sleep over for a l-o-n-g-t-i-m-e. then they cry more. and you feel crappy for two reasons: because they feel crappy and because you know you are going out in the cold in the middle of the night. so you say go ahead and try for another 20 minutes and call me if you don't fall asleep. but if i have to come out again and get you, like last time, just know that it will be a long while before you try again. then she says i know mommy i miss you. and then you say, i'm going to see you in six hours at the basketball court. i love you. (you want to say, for god's sake! but you don't. yet.) you think if i give the phone to george that might be good--he will say to go sleep boodle and mama is already asleep so tough luck but he'd say it a little nicer than that but i bet she would stay. and the next day he'd say something like no more sleepovers for a year.

you know i'm driving by 1. you just know it.