i think i know. i have jenna's sinus infection now. my teeth, my face, my cheeks, oh my teeth. ouch ouch ouch ouch. ooohhh.
in pain and going down for the night any way I can.
more when I can.
found antibiotic.
taking.
darvocet too
jenna whirling and speeding around me, high on steroids and albuterol,
and breathing just right again.
that matters more than anything.
-------
in the pain
i feel
the absence of
her
white cotton sheets
hospital corners
cool and
ironed pristine crisp
folded back
to make a triangle
saying this bed
is just for you.
her welcoming arms
bring me
saltines
and ginger ale and
a spoonful of
medicine
to help me
not dream
how many times she
felt my head, brushed
my cheek
a
cold wash cloth
hot water bottle
easing the hurt
she sat
lightly on my bed
bringing perfume
and soft blouse cuffs
and
a kindness I could hardly
accept
in my family
people paid attention
to the sick and the dying
we
sat vigils at bedsides
this is what we did
best
cracking pain
shattering
falling into
soft cotton
not knowing
how to be well
This is our legacy.
