April 02, 2006

weirdest damn thing ever

So ten years ago we bought this house that we still live in, right, and poor 30somethings that we were, we set out to paint the inside, up down and sideways, ourselves. Now you may not know George personally, but you should know that he would rather not do something than do it half-assed, which means, you guessed it, he sanded (ask him about taping the shop vac to his forearm to suck down the dust as he used the electric sander) and we primed all of the rooms -- the whole damn house -- before painting the two coats of paint necessary to make it look good.

Which it DID look. Ten years ago.

Unfortunately, the little exercise RUINED both of our right shoulders and we vowed never to do it again, which is why our walls look like homemade shit today.

But back to the shoulder thing.

For the last TEN years I've suffered with pain in my right shoulder every day and every night. To lift my arm near or above shoulder height has been something I avoid at best, and suffer through mostly.

I sleep with two pillows under my right arm so that no pressure is on my right shoulder when I sleep on my right side. It hurts. It always hurts. I live with it.

Today, I was talking to my sister as she put some things in the back of my van, and I had my right arm on the headrest of the passenger's seat. She was saying, "Look at these pants I got for Jenna," and I twisted WAY back putting my right shoulder in a raised, painful predicament, then I stretched even further backward, when, suddenly: SNAP, ZING, GASP something popped in my shoulder and the zing of pain literally knocked the wind out of me for a second after which I anticipated SEARING pain. I heald my breath or it held me.

The pain didn't come.

And all of a sudden I realized in the quiet between anticipation and what-is: HOLY HECK, MY SHOULDER DOESN'T HURT ANYMORE.

For the first time in 10 years. It didn't hurt!

Could it have been out of place all of these years? I mean, can that possibly be? Through childbirth and carrying baby and swimming and getting laid off and blogging and grieving and all the stuff I've done over the last decade?

What happened? How? And can it possibly last?

For now, I'm celebrating. I can't believe it. It really and truly doesnt hurt.

holy holy cow, thank you Jesus, amen.

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