March 28, 2003

so, shit.

Son of a bitch. Job gone. Health insurance going. Life insurance, dental, vision, vacation, all gone in a flash. April 1 is my last day working at the global PR firm where I've worked for the last five years. To the day. I mean April Fools day was my hire date; five years later my fire date. Well, it's not exactly a layoff. They wanted me to stay, they say, but their actions spoke loudly. So I chose door number 2.

Coming face to face with what it means to have a primo job in this country--coming face to face by losing it--has inspired me. Not to be thankful to corporations, but in this solitary moment of looking back and forward I realize that I have been right. That everything is turning upside down--or more appropriately right-side up. So I guess I'll be working from here for a while. Here I'm free to make my own future. It's mine to screw up. It's mine to make bloom.

It's scary. I don't know if I can do it, have the energy to do it. But I have a couple of clients, already loyal, and think I can make a go as a consultant, writing from my couch, much like I've done for the last five years, but without the safety net of my employer. I'm old. I don't want to go back to a 9-5 gig. If I have to I have to, but what if I don't? What if I can make a go of this? What if I can put into practice all the things I've been preaching in blogland the last almost-two years? What if more and more of us start doing this? What kind of network could we *really* build this into?

So wish me luck. The moment's almost here. Yikes....

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