The if I were 23 again loop (or in my 42nd year)....

I'd have my babies. Lots of them. I'd love them all. Maybe I'd never have a great job. Maybe I'd never see my name in print. Maybe I would. Maybe I'd bake bread with them. Maybe I'd teach them how to milk a cow myself. Maybe they wouldn't have all my attention, but maybe they'd have enough. And maybe they'd have each other. And maybe they'd be 18, 16, 15, and 14. And maybe I'd be 45 and all my kids would be grown. And maybe I'd have grandbabies. If I survived it. And maybe I'd write a novel or go on vacation. And maybe I wouldn't know what to do. But I'd have my babies. Lots of them. And I'd love them all.... Just as much as I love my only baby. The only baby I'll ever have.