November 23, 2005

Pope Says Recovered or Passive Gays Okay for Priesthood

Looking for a new career? If you're a would-be catholic priest, you better steer clear of the new pope unless you've been clean and sober, homosexually speaking, for at least 3 years.

I believe that's the platinum chip.

"If instead it is a case of homosexual tendencies that are merely the expression of a transitory problem, for example as in the case of an unfinished adolescence, they must however have been clearly overcome for at least three years before ordination as a deacon."

The pope also announced that anyone born gay would be slaughtered like the fatted before sundown tomorrow.

In other news, the Bruce Willis of popes, Benedict XVI, has gotten a firm grip on those pesky friars, known for their peace marches and other madness.

Vittorio Messori, a conservative Catholic commentator, told The Independent the 1986 conference was marked by excesses, including allowing African and Indian rituals.

OH NO, not African Rituals. The excess of it! Hold your babies tight. Under the reign of Ratzi, Interreligious gatherings are now a no-no too.

Doesn't this guy have, like, some praying to do to keep him busy?


Steve said...

Maybe you didn't hear that Messori went on to say the friars allowed "African animists to slaughter chickens on the altar of the basilica of Santa Chiara".

There's no ban on interreligious gatherings, just on excesses like that.

Maybe you don't think that's excessive, but most Christians would disagree.

Jeneane Sessum said...

I am a Chistian. I was raised Catholic. Some would say there is a difference.

And oh please, as if the Catholic Church was not built on adopting what's popular from "pagen" practices to bring in the, um, masses. Don't be so hypocritical.