June 30, 2007

WonderChicken, He's Our Man...

if he can't do it, no one can!



Like a breath of hot... err.. i mean fresh air, the WC enters the race for the White House. Never mind that he doesn't live here--that may be all the better. I don't think Dick Cheney's lived here in three years. In fact he may not be alive at all. And he's got a Very Important Government Job.

SO there you have it. Vote WonderChicken. At Least He's Alive (TM)

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June 29, 2007

technorati top 5k blog

you claw your way into the top 5,000 blogs, and this is what you get?



What kind of thing is that?

Talk about dancing on the head of a pin!

What the hell kind of respect does that show for the ex-blogger bodies strewn across the information super highway that I had to walk over -- nay trample -- on my way to the not-really top?

What'd that take, about 32 seconds to create?

Is it because Kevin Marks is gone?

No one to do the heavy lifting over there?

First they go and mess up the interface, and now they stick hardly-visible "lookatyou!" minipixel icons up there?

Or maybe i just need some sleep.

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Prince's Planet Earth "Beggars Belief"

UK Bloggers, save me a copy of Prince's new album Planet Earth (old people still call these things albums), could you? Because you'll be getting it for free if you get the Sunday Mail, nearly a month before it's officially released.

Whooo, Prince knows how to cause a stir, fellas. The loud scream you heard was the collective coronary suffered by the record retailers in the UK, who are throwing some sticks and stones at the news that they won't be making any money off Prince's new product.

"It would be an insult to all those record stores who have supported Prince throughout his career," said aul Quirk, co-chairman of the U.K.'s Entertainment Retailers Association, who is in some serious need of media training. "It would be yet another example of the damaging covermount culture [anyone???] which is destroying any perception of value around recorded music. The Artist Formerly Known as Prince should know that with behavior like this he will soon be the Artist Formerly Available in Record Stores. And I say that to all the other artists who may be tempted to dally with the Mail on Sunday."

Lord let me wake up tomorrow on Prince's PR team so I can issue a release entitled: "I know you are but what am I."

Anyway, I'm wondering what Sony BMG UK is thinking -- reports being that Prince's people did an end-run on the label with the deal to giveg away product -- LOTS of product -- causing a hiccup in the payola food chain of this squeeky clean industry.

It's also rumored that Planet Earth will be given away for free at Prince's 21 scheduled UK shows--or at least to those who purchase tickets.

Hey, first blogger to get your hands on a copy, don't forget to twitter!

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June 28, 2007

No, not condiments

George is back from big lots. no condiments.

Yay!!! but we did get...



THE MAGIC BULLET
!!!!!!

Live Blogging Movie Review

Christopher: what the hell are you watching?
me: night at the museum (kids movie)
Christopher: oh yes, saw the trailer
me: ben stiller, dick van dyke, robin williams??
it looks cute?
mickie roonie!!
Christopher: I dunno.
me: ?
Christopher: omg
me: not a good ansswer
Christopher: you're getting senile
me: "he looks like a wierdie"
Christopher: oh he was weird alright
me: (oh did i get the wrong guy?)
(the little short one?)
andy rooney?
Christopher: child prodigy in the 30s or something
me: mickie roonie?
Christopher: mickie roonie
me: yeah he says to ben stiller: "You look like a weirdie"
hee
Christopher: child star -- obnoxious little brat
me: YES
dick van dyke looks great
Christopher: never grew out of it, either
me: he musta kicked the bottle
or maybe that was his brother.
Christopher: maybe you're thinking the Dutch Masters painter?
Van Dyke
16th century?
me: oh yeah
sure
Christopher: or the cigars
me: DVD says (that's dick van dyke): "No foolin around in here--this stuff's really old."
Christopher: Ernie Kovacks
what the fuck are you watching???
me: Night at the Museum!!!!!
you goober!
i told you
dvd
rental
Christopher: I thought that was a NEW movie
a remake?
me: RENTALLLLL
MENTALLLL
no dick van dyke is in it NOW
he's a security guard
micki roony's in it NOW
Christopher: no, listen: there is a NEW movie about being trapped in a museum at night
me: as a short old man
YES THIS IS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Christopher: just came out recently
me: OMG you r a freak
are you fucking with me?
Christopher: so how are all these OLD fuckers in it?
me: that is what i am WATCHING
THEY ARE IN IT
THEY ARE OLD
security guards
they're like NUTS
ben stiller's in it too
he is not old
Christopher: no: YOU are like NUTS
me: why do you think i'm saying DVD looks GOOD (dick van dyke)
i mean GOOD FOR 100.
Christopher: and why do you keep telling me you've been stiller?
is that like "It's quiet. Too quiet..."
me: OMG TAKE ANOTHER PILL
ok he's in the museum now
by hisself
and its nighttime
Christopher: OK.
me: and it sure's ben stiller
Christopher: are you going to chat me the entire movie???
me: only if you don't keep telling me i'm nuts
Christopher: you are weirder than me by far
me: he's singing earth wind and fire on the intercom system
Christopher: dig yourself
me: nah
Christopher: you've lost all control
me: i am so blogging this
Christopher: right now? as we speak?
me: DONT GO IN THAT DOOR BEN!
no later
so i don't ruin the ending
Christopher: LOOK OUT!!!
me: for all the friends out there.
UGH OH
Christopher: spoiler alert
me: the BIG STATUE isn't where he left it
oooooo
Christopher: oh MG
me: "Cecil? Ok very funny cecil!! what is this a david copperfield thing?"
Christopher: O MY G
OM GOD
me: get ready to jump
wait
waaaaait
Christopher: JUMP
whoops
me: nope not yet
waaait
Christopher: too soon?
me: ooooo
YAAAAAA!!!!
Christopher: JUMPPPPPPPP
me: HOLY MOVIN DINOSAUR BATMAN!!!
Christopher: did I make it?
me: he's never ben stiller.
Christopher: WTF?
me: AHAHAHAHAHA
now he's running but the dinosaur is chasing him
oooo good effects
run ben
run
run
RUN!!!
Christopher: images in mirror may be closer than they appear...
me: ooo he's hiding behind the desk
Christopher: running already!
me: but the dino is big
Christopher: hide hide hide
me: OH DEAR
the dino just picked up the desk
Christopher: OMFG
me: Ohhh!!!!!!!!!
Christopher: YIKES
me: the dinosaur just wants to play fetch!!!
Christopher: DON'T EAT ME!!!
me: instruction number 1:
"Throw the bone"
Christopher: you realize this is totally insane, right?
me: he's playing fetch
awe
isn't that CUTE!!!!
he's a goooood dinosaur
Christopher: awwww
me: how cuuuuuute
Christopher: give him a cracker
me: he's like kitty kitty except bigger
he's playing fetch
wagging his skeleton tail
Christopher: we talking a Tyranosaurus Rex here?
me: yep
Christopher: HFS
me: it kind of shakes the building when he runs
Christopher: baboom baboom
me: ok now the elephant's on the lose
i think it's a wooley mammoth
Christopher: HFS
me: ok it's getting confusing now
Christopher: HFS
me: too many living characters
i may have to go pay attention
Christopher: what you mean GETTING???
me: the natives are after him
Ugh oh
Christopher: jesus
me: on the elevator
he's going up
wshew
Christopher: I may have to go rent this
me: "Oh mandy" is playing on musak.
i think it's better in chat
Christopher: this is definitely lo-fidelity this way
I can't SEE
what's happening
me: oh right
i forgot
Christopher: I have to take your word for it
what if you're lying to me
me: oh well there's a pretty Indian girl, and i don't mean East.
Christopher: what if you're really watching Gone With the Wind?
me: sackajewea
louis and clarke
Christopher: toss me another sack o' jaweea
me: Huns
the Huns are after him
Christopher: very postmodern
me: wow
Christopher: transtemporal
me: it does look like the rochester museum came to life
know what else i rented?
Christopher: HFS
what
me: black snake moan
Christopher: oh cool -- Samuel L
me: yepper
i won't chat thru that one
you may haveta get it
Christopher: tell me how that one is
me: wow ostraches are BIG
Christopher: might just
me: like TALL
Christopher: this chat is going into the museum too
me: oh right
Christopher: the Museum of Weirdness
me: HANG IT ON THE WALL BATMAN
It's goin' to the blog
Christopher: what is this fucking movie called again?
me: i think it's night at the museum
oooo the monkey got his keys
Christopher: I Think It's Night At the Museum?
me: Night the Museum
Christopher: what a weird title
oh
this is too exciting for me. I have to go take me calm-down pills
Christopher: check me later, see if there's still a pulse
me: ok
you be careful in there
there's lions and all kinds a shit on the loose

---

fresh from pool on phone with george

he's headed to big lots. look out.

condiments--no doubt.

Can anyone tell me if this is legit?

Got an(other) email last night that tugged at my worthy cause heartstrings. But I don't know if this is legitimate because it came to me through an unsolicited email--some might call it spam it sounds too real to be spam--and I'm hoping it's just one blogger asking some others for help. Minnich sounds for real and the blog is not sploggy, but there aren't any pictures or ways to get to know those involved. So I thought I'd put this out there to see if anyone I know knows whether or not its the real deal. And so that if you'd like to find our or help Minnich, you have the info. And if it is for real, what a perfect social marketing opportunity for Stormhoek!

anywhoo Thanks!

---

Hi,

Wait! Please don't delete. Read on and if there is still nothing you can do about it, then at least you will have entertained yourself.


This is not a Spam, and it is not a Nigerian Con letter. I don't need your money to pay for an American Passport or to transfer money from some war torn country or help set off credit card debts or… well, you know how they go.


This is a humble request to help make a change. I have gone through your blogs, all of you (sorry I had to Bcc your Email address as this letter goes to 30 different people) and they are all intriguing, interesting, entertaining, soulful, mindful… all of it.


I am Minnieh, A Girl From Africa, I may have posted comments on some of your blogs or already send you an E-mail earlier. I am 28yrs and in a programme that educates girls from East Africa. I have so far put three girls through secondary school, two are in their final year and one has one more year to go. Requests from my country folk have been coming in and the need is overwhelming. I can only stretch myself so far, and we all know I ain't no Oprah (bless her) so won't be coming up with a Leadership Academy any time soon, not without some outside help (Nothing is impossible). So, I have decided to seek your help to assist me carry on putting them through school, one by one, two by two, whatever we shall manage to do. I do not have a website but the girls and myself have been blogging, trying to do up some short stories and African folklore and sell through a Read-For-A-Dollar initiative at www.girlfromafrica.blogspot.com. I wouldn't mind doing up a website but I thought about it… $36 (cost of a web?) is enough to put one girl through school for a term, …$36 is enough to feed a family of 5 for a month, …$36 is enough to put a dressing on a painful wound, …$36 is enough to… by the time I finish with the list of what $36 can do, I'm not sure I will still be thinking of a web site any more.


So, to all of you fellow bloggers, the young mummies, the super mummies, the mummy fighting the world to save her son, the mommy-to-be who is on a countdown to her delivery date (I am one), the chap trying to translate English for an African girl in a Chinese shop in Germany, the Australian babe making a life in Europe, the Norwegian girl married to a gorgeous guy, the momma of 5 trying to get organised, the chaps whose blogs are raining men, Susan who runs for her life, Kelly whose blog rains men, pet mommies, the Iraqi raising his/her voice for fellow country men, children writing to keep a parents candle burning – a parent killed in the Iraq war, Crystal, a purpose driven wife… all of you, all of us.


All I ask… beg of you is to donate 1 Dollar/Pound/Euro (one will do, 5 will be good, 10 might be too much to ask for but, thanks anyway) through a PayPal account under the email girlfromafrica@gmail.com and, if you could be kind enough, pass this message to a couple of friends kind enough to also make a donation.


If you are not in a position to, thanks anyway for taking the time to read this far, but please do not hurl insults at me, or get too negative about my initiative. It's just an idea I have come up with, and it's my small way to make a small change in someone's life.


Be part of a positive change. Please help put a girl through school.

Kind regards,

Minnieh.

A Girl From Africa

www.girlfromafrica.blogspot.com

girlfromafrica@gmail.com

June 27, 2007

threads of hope

So the fabulous artist e. popped into chat, and while we were talking about yards and bloggers and threads and art and school's out for the summer, she mentioned the challenges a lovely knitting blogger named Annie is going through right now due to her husband Gerry's battle with multiple myeloma. Another knitting blogger posted about Annie and her family, and the knitting blog community is out in force to help, including a new site to help raise money for Annie's family's medical expenses. Or you can download a pattern from Annie and add a little something for their medical expense fund.

The knitters could use some help in this worthy cause. Gerry is going to the Mayo Clinic, and medical expenses are increasing.

SO I challenge the tech bloggers and web 2.0 bloggers to help the knitting bloggers help Annie and her husband with the most important battle of their lives.

If you can donate, please do. If you can help in some other way, contact info is on the we love annie site.

And I'm pretty sure they're accepting prayers too.

---

when i should be working and it shows

i am really enjoying the Peter Gabriel tour diary chronicling the wet tour through Germany and parts unknown, and would enjoy it more if I were seeing a show or two or seven.

i'm sorry, is my ADD showing?

deadlines

Dear blog friends.

I am experiencing poor impulse control. Someone needs to keep me OFF of youtube.

thank you,
Sarah Tonin

p.s. Police tickets just went on sale here.

as one college professor used to yell: "Relevance! Relevance!"

listenin

where did all the lifeguards go?

I have noticed in having to find outside pools to join since there isn't one in our neighborhood, that there is a trend to NOT have lifeguards in order to save money. It's all 'swim at your own risk' these days, and I don't like it. I think it's dumb. What's one kid scooped off the bottom of the pool worth--an extra $100 or $200 a summer? Yeah, I think so. Not to mention, lifeguards are the enforcers of "Adult Swim," the most important part of the adult-child summer agreement.

The pool we joined doesn't have a lifeguard this year--I am glad Jenna is a good swimmer and I try to remain 'all eyes.' But that is never possible as a human being and not a super hero.

We never swim alone there. Still, if they gave us the option, I would have found some extra lifeguard cash someplace. It just makes sense. Kids + Water = Lifeguards.

Atlanta is the land of cutting corners.

The pool we joined three years ago--I went back yesterday to see if they had lifeguards. I was thinking of switching to that pool. But they got rid of them too. The man I talked to said the members voted not to because it would have increased the cost of memberships. How selfish.

People. You can't live with em, you can't drown em.



---

Delayed Reaction

"I'm afraid to leave my yard"???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

wtf?

---

the world is thinking of autumn

i know it just turned summer for some of you, but the fact that we've been off school since May 24 and the rush of fervent new business requests -- combined with my five years of doing this solo thang -- let me know that i should tell you the truth. Fall's almost here. That's right, get outside and sweat it up, because it's almost over.

I know you don't think so. But you're wrong. You watch. In a few weeks we'll be back to school shopping and you'll be saying, holy crap you were right: i thought summer just started but it's over and Jeneane knew it the whole time.

And I'll say good, because it's been like 100 degrees here without rain for seventeen years, and I am Most Def READY FOR SOME FOOOOTTTBAAAAL! Sweatshirts, chips, guac, sports socks, cold-air-lungs, and a quarterback sneak or hail mary. we're thiiiiiiiiisss close. I'm tellin' ya.

not crunchboard

if you're one of those bright and cheery aspergers what write apps that work on facebook and help us social pleebs do cool stuff like rate books, send gifts, and open fortune cookies, can you drop me a line to ewriter AT bellsouth DOT net? might be some work 4 ya. might not. i'll do my best.

thanks.

June 26, 2007

tyedye

dr bombay, dr bombay, emergency, come right away

Congratulations to UBATMK trombonist, Frank Paynter, who has been given a key to the city, WAIT WAIT -- BETTER than that. A key to the UNIVERSITY!! OMG!

For He's a jolly good fellow of Sociology, ladies and gentlemen. Wish him well and buy him a pencil case.

Hey Frank, I might know of a case study or two you could start researching. I mean, just thinking out loud here.

Anyway, I hope you and Beth are out to dinner celebrating. Start shining up your library card.

---

Devine Stories

Betsy The Devine has shared a great story about her great grandfather today over at Ronni's Elder Storytelling Place.

Turns out Betsy's great-grandfather, like my grandmother, was an on-paper blogger from the way back. Here's one paragraph from Betsy's blog inspiration that will get you hoppin over to read the rest.

“I envied you this morning, my boy, nice and warm in your cozy bassinette. It was very chilly for grandpa - the wind was North and snowing, the walks were very slippery, but Gaga is always careful so he did not fall down. There is no heat at all in the Elevated cars in Boston on account of the influenza."

A snippet out of time. That's all we're doing really.

p.s., Ronni's taking stories from elders--some of the best posts online are over there. And I hear she's looking for more!

no matter what yer going thru, someone in the blogworld is going through it too

Will, man, I not only HEAR you, I feel you, I feel just like you, as I too am transitioning off meds, and actually just today decided to change over and take a 'lil something new lest I walk into the neurological woods ne'r to return.

OH no I'm not exaggerating, nonono, at least I don't think so, because my head is quite literally rolling around on the floor (i watched it fall off), and I'm pretty sure it has no forehead. I grew seven feet with 12 toes each, and the electrical firings and inhibited serotonin have rendered me physiologically spastic: I now have a twitch of the lower lip.

.00032 percent of individuals have the lip ripple. rock on me.

I'm telling you... wtf, man? My only saving grace so far has been Omega Brite--go with that brand for Omega 3. It's the best percentage ratio available. Well researched. Harvard and all that.

Be well, be will.



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when they're four they're out the door

I don't know if Denise's Tyler is four yet, but he is of preschool age and as such transitioning to a daytime made up of cutty-pastey and circle time.

I remember when Jenna went to Montessori pre-school. She was four. She was SO beyond ready to be out and about with other kids during the day, and I was SO ready to be able to have a single, consistent thought, which every now and again is a nice thing to be able to have as a indie business person and mom with a hot pan on the stove.

In time, Tyler will feel less like Nemo, swept away from his family alone into the current of life, and more like a lil kid who gets to go have fun during the day.

And Denise, no kidding, you've been doing BOTH for so long, you're going to have time for an entire extra job now. Make it something good: Like writing a book, Blawg Mama!!!

---

summer soul sticks

Michael reminded me that it has been a year since Meg died.

I left a comment on the 15th--I didn't know it was so close to a year when I went to visit. Something pulled me back there. Lots of us keep going back. To remind ourselves to remember ourselves...

to remind ourselves to remember our friends forward...

off the screen.

I don't know how long I can stay here as more Megs go. It's too much, really. It's too big out here. Loss ripples.

Remember when we hung on one another's every word here? Every ounce of every page of every one of us was precious. We wrote one another whole. We wrote ourselves free. Or we tried.

Or we died trying.

--

June 24, 2007

baby your face is mutated

gotta love the tubes.




(we are so fucking old.)

Nower

now

then

carpet crawlers heed their callers

we've gotta get in to get out...


me chatting with margaret

Chatting with Margaret--happy Sunday conversations.

I finally got some sun this weekend. I have a new floatie for the pool. Even though it's like 100 here, I'm feeling almost normal again.

Can I quote me on that?