June 06, 2006

ragged and wormy

It's sinus infection time--oh that lovely time of the year when my face is filled with staples and my brain is pushing up marshmallows, and I can't unearth a single cogent thought from the mucus sea inside of me.

cripe. i'm sick and i am not good at being sick. not now not ever.

I have three deadlines waiting for me, they have come to life, staring at their melting Daliesque watches wondering when I might deliver. One cogent thought. Just ONE, and I might be able to rescue whatever phlegm-encrusted bits of self-belief I had going into this rapid-onset sinusitis.

aaaahrgh. my face. my teeth. o.

I looked up photos of hookworms today because that's what Sophie has (or had now that i've dosed her with five syringes of wormer) and there were 17 other things I should have been doing, but the vet telling me how hookworms have teeth and how humans can catch them (I guess by dancing on dog shit), left me too curious for my own good.

You see them, right? Let me just say that if they were the size of my pinky finger, I'd stick one between my eyes right now so it could suck the crap out of my sinuses--teeth and all.

they had it right with leeches.

now, imagine that hookworm face singing opera.

Funny, eh?

k. good night.


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future by design and Jaque Fresco

I always click through the blogads that I accept (sometimes even before I accept them!) to make sure they're sending folks where they're supposed to, to see what's at the other end of the tunnel, etc.

The most recent ad about the Atlanta Film Festival and Future by Design caught my attention as I explored inward.

I'd never heard of the work of Jacque Fresco until I accepted the ad for my blog. I found the site fascinating. Whether or not the future cooperates with Fresco's design, I have to say I wouldn't mind seeing the movie OR living inside a world like this virtually--3rd life, the underwater version.

Look at these designs. They're amazing. Maybe we can engage Mr. Fresco to re-design Atlanta.

"there are no civilized people yet. it's a process constantly going on. As long as you have war, police, prisons, crime, you're in the early stages of what they call civilization. All of the marvels and wonders of technology amount to nothing unless it elevates humans to their highest potential." -- Jacque Fresco

Perhaps that's a bit new-agey, but when you've lived a long time and designed entire future worlds, I can suspend my disbelief long enough to pay the proper respect.

Here's Fresco's Inventions and Designs- many of which have been patented and have had wide commercial acceptance.





    • Systems for noiseless and pollution free aircraft

    • A new aircraft wing structural system, patented by the US Air Force

    • An electrostatic system for the elimination of sonic boom

    • Boundary layer control and electrodynamic methods for aircraft control that dispenses with ailerons, elevators, rudders, and flaps

    • A three-wheel automobile consisting of only 32 parts

    • “The Aluminum Trend House,” a prefabricated house designed and developed for Mike Shore and Earl Muntz, 1945

    • Designed and developed another prefabricated aluminum house for Major Realty Corporation in collaboration with Aluminum Company of America

    • Developed numerous components and systems for architectural construction

    • Developed equipment ranging from 3-dimensional x-ray units to electronic surgical instruments for the medical field

    • Developed a technique for viewing 3-dimensional motion pictures without the use of glasses

    • Designed and built a wide variety of reinforced concrete structures




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June 04, 2006

ess-doe-tea

SDOTI -The Lemur says stuff about my new job and about coffee and the telephone and conferences and power balls which you should not miss.

practicing my new signature...

Jeneane Sessum
Social Director, The Internet(TM)

Jeneane D. Sessum, SDOTI, OBGYN, PC

jeneane sessum
soc-dir, internet


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June 03, 2006

when a man loves a (single) woman

when a man loves a woman
can't even find his own nose
cause it's stuck deep
inside her ear

If she's a nose thief
he can't see it
doesn't think it's gross that
she's givin' herself a tracheotomy
with her own index finger

when a man loves a woman
he don't see her two sets of teeth
waiting to bite out
his adam's apple

Tracheotomy biting white eyed woman
single and wicked for stealing noses
no place for her to get a single man
unless he has some spare parts...

When a man loves a woman
Deep down in his inbox
She can bring him such misery
If she extracts her own duodenum
He's the last one to know
Cause she took his eyeballs too.

mmmmm mmm mmm

catchy though, isn't it?

I am so glad I get to keep my house!

I was thinking of a REALLY BIG prize for the first person to accept my challenge re: SYO, SYOPML, OPIEML, OATMEAL.

Alas, no one won the prize because THERE AREN'T ANY. There will be though. And he will choose them. And you will let him.

Or maybe  is why (from McD in comments):


FYI: When you download the OPML Editor and install Dave's newRiver aggregator you get Arrington's, Scoble's and Dave's blogs as defaults... when you export the OPML and upload it to "Share Your OPML" they each get another reader in their stats.

Same as it ever was... gaming the stats. Arrington reviewed the site twice... he loves the site in the second review and thinks it could really help the "long tail". FYI: He's not Dave' best buddy... He's the lawyer that brokered the $2.15M deal to sell Dave's struggling weblogs.com "blog ping service" to Verisign. The site that fell over the last time Dave asked for the possee to support him.

Oh yah, I vaguely remember that. That's when another of Dave's one-time-friend took the fall for him. Same guy says he wouldn't do that again. Like, ever.

But Dave's so nice!

Next Week's Killer App: Share Your Privilege (SYP).

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I'm Simply Gushing!

There's more news in the job-change department. Like hamsters to a wheel, these are the days of our lives.

And fittingly, it appears I've been promoted!

Who Knew(TM)?

It all started innocently enough. I began my inserting rapid, if not useful and timely, links within a chat I was having with one of the top 50 business thinkers in the world (number 47 I think) when I began to pre-link (that's when you send someone a link before they know they need it) with such skill and adroitness that it could hardly go unnoticed.

In fact, that particular talent is said to have inspired my promotion to Social Director of the Internet. (The whole thing, yes.)

Some might say the Internet doesn't need a social director. Well sure it does! Some might wonder, what the hell does that job description look like? It's long! Some may wonder, says who? I'm certified! Some may ask themselves, my god, how did i get here?

Let's be perfectly clear about this: you're either for the Internet or your against it. You have to take a stand. No one is safe. We have a common enemy. If we aren't fighting them there, then we're fighting them over here. And in the war on not being safe, I'm the right woman for the job.

whoa. got carried away.

So, on that note, you may all go home.

That's right, I'm closing the place for the weekend. Lights out. Air Conditioning goes off at 8 a.m. Your card for the parking garage won't work. So, you might as well unplug, detach, and be free.

No, I'm not pulling your leg.

You're free to go. Go on then. Get outta here you crazy kids!!


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June 02, 2006

Oh My! If I Had a Hammer and a Headcount...

I find it really hard to believe that Buzznet let go of Tony, but if I were a web2.0 or publishing company looking to push/pull into/from myspace, photo space and/or video space, I wouldn't let this guy sit around long... I would grab and fast.

I saw Tony at SXSW, and even after I went home, George hung with him some. Tony worked his ass off there and is the kind of guy crowds gather around because he can talk to anyone. He had some, uh, rather impressive results during his 7 months on the job, too:


all in all i was responsible for at least 13 million page views to buzznet in the seven and a half months that i was there. no one user had ever attracted more than 2.5 million hits other than the pretty boy bass player of the top 40 band fall out boy. i had one user account that got 9.5 million hits, another which is at 2.3 million, and my personal account went over a million hits just a few weeks ago, meaning not only had i been the only person to ever have two accounts to ever get over 2 million, but the only one to ever have three go over a million.

and to be honest, before i showed up no one even thought that anyone could get a million that quick, but one of my accounts did more than that in a week.

i took over 4,000 pictures and posted them, i wrote over 100 blog entries, i sent out over 50,000 messages to our users, and in seven months i hosted seven buzznet meetups in three different countries, most of the time at no cost to the company. i think i was a pretty decent community manager.

unfortunately not everyone saw it that way. which is why tonight im unemployed.


There are a lot of ripples from this news I have to process before I say much more But Tony's involuntary separation from Buzznet is a significant event in the world of social marketing and web 2.0. It's a reverse doocing of sorts. and I have to say, the attitude organizationally is not atypical of what I'm seeing from some web 2.0 cos who forget to shift gears from that "attraction" phase (during which time the community manager is pushing traffic traffic traffic and driving usage usage usage), to the "delight" phase, where the onus is on the the product/service to delight the folks who've joined up.

Otherwise you end up like orkut (Brazil not withstanding) and the dozen other social networks no one gives a shit about.

MySpace is at a critical point here too I think... Sure, its mass (and ma$$) alone will keep MySpace going, but the next amazonesque (the company that consistently re-delights) move in engaging the members who've put down roots, that's not the community manager's job.

Well, more soon on this one. I'll just say, best to you shakespierce. advice (not that you need any)? the way you make your living on the web should look a lot like the web -->  become employed within a tapestry of relationships, not by xyz company.

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Head Lemurs on Phone

Talked to the Head Lemur today who is as fascinating and riveting on the teley as he is on the bloggy. There are still some passionate bloggers out there--ones who don't give a rat's ass about what the CONSUMER might think of them--and they aren't afraid to keep talking until they hit on cosmic-shifting gems of wit&wisdom. That Lemur's one of them.

George was like, "Who were you talking to?" upon my hanging up, after hearing me snorty-laughing a couple of times. I said, "The Head Lemur." He said, "Who?" I said, "The Head Lemur--the BLOGGING Head Lemur." He was all: "OH! THE HEAD LEMUR?!" I was all, "YEAH, HOW COOL, HUH?" He was all: "WOW!" I was all, "You have to talk to him next time." And then I told him a story that the Lemur told me and George was all: Whoa.

That's kind of how it goes at home.

p.s. in the puppy department, we finally got the new puppy to the vet for all her shots. she was loaded with hook worms. Down the hatch went the first of five worm med doses. eeee. poor thing has probably had them since she was born. the vet things she's about 4 months. She's 30 pounds, and is still bony but not as bony since I've had her on the $$Eukenuba$$ puppy food.


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bird burning

Shelley I miss you.


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What we get is not always what we see.

"In recent years, Tanya has been told that her father had cobalt treatments, which severely burned the skin on his neck, yet she has no recollection of seeing burns on her father. She has also been told that the initial lump was followed by several others and that her father's disfigurement increased toward the end of his life.

"At the very end of his life, her father's voice changed, and his ability to breathe was compromised. Yet despite these obvious changes, Tanya has no recollection of ever seeing the physical changes taking place in her father or of having the opportunity to talk about the changes with members of the family....

"It is not merely that Tanya's family prohibited talking about her father's illness. The veil of silence that fell over her childhood prohibited her from seeing what was going on. The denial assaulted her sense of what was real. Her memories of the time from age 10 to 16, the period of her father's illness, are either distorted or nonexistent. Because she was not allowed to see what was going on, it was impossible for her to remember what happened."


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earliest wounds

For Jonathan.

"For most people, death does not make an appearance until an individual has enjoyed a full life. We are spared having to deal with loss and tragedy until we are better able to handle the trauma of death. When people meet death in childhood, it marks them. Often, they change the way they understand their own lives, the way they perceive time, and the way they move through the life cycle. They also alter their view of death itself. Death is no longer a mere character in a story but a very real presence that has robbed them of something precious and dear.

"To say that one is marked by early loss may sound dramatic and perhaps extreme. Survivors of early loss do not 'look different' from the rest of us. Their loss is invisible and unseen by most of us. Yet it was surprising how many people I interviewed had come to live and share their lives with another survivor of early loss. It was as if each did indeed bear a mark perhaps only visible to another survivor, but a mark nonetheless recognizable and clear to one who had been through the same experience. In Ben Hecht's words, these were all people who had been 'to the edge of the world and looked over its last foot of territory into nothingness.'"

--The Loss That Is Forever: The Lifelong Impact of the Early Death of a Mother or Father, by Maxine Harris, Ph.D.


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June 01, 2006

Finally...

wecomefullcircle.

I am thrilled to hear Ray has a book coming out. Thanks to Tom, who should also have a book coming out, for the pointer.

Let us know when we can get it, Ray.


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i'm really scared.


We should have listened to him. NOW look what's happened.


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May 31, 2006

They are not you.

Maybe I am feeling older. Maybe it's the nature of the beast. Maybe I'm jaded. Maybe I live too far inside the Net. Maybe it doesn't matter.

Maybe it does.

Tonight I went to the spring fling gathering of the Atlanta Interactive Marketing Association, which was really a nice get together, but something I wouldn't have gone to if I didn't know a couple of very COOL women who said, "Hey, you should come!"

Toby Bloomberg is just a great lady. She's smart and warm and instantly makes you feel at home. Even when you meet her in person at the top of an escalator at the Atlanta Airport that your child refuses to ride.

Although Toby and I first became aware of each other through a real-world business associate (he who shall not be named), we bonded in the blogosphere, and you know how that goes. Secret handshake, reinventing business on the sly, in our spare time. Toby and I are both involved with BlogHer and are going to the conference in July. I'm hoping we'll wind up on the same flight so she can help me entertain Jenna with stories of Divas and Marketing and why the escalator is our friend. Anyway, Toby was great at the event tonight, as was Maggie Buerger, another well-connected PR and marketing veteran on the Atlanta scene.

And never mind the food--it was awesome, except for saucer-size plates that fit one chicken wing and two spring rolls, and folks when I go from working like mad to driving up to camp to get jenna to dropping her off at my sister's to a 30-mile trip downtown after therapy to attend a marketing whoohaa, you better give me a dinner plate because I haven't eaten since noon and it's 8:30 p.m., and this may be your happy hour, but to me it's a tactical pit-stop on my way through life.

And again, I digress.

The thing that stopped me cold tonight wasn't the drive or the saucer-size plate. It was being back in a tavern that I hadn't been in since the flush days of Ketchum, during the dot-com boom, when we'd celebrate a big account win after work there or cut out early to have some drinks and laughs, and then after the bust, when we substituted a Friday happy hour here and there for our lavish all-company weekend retreats in the mountains.

Let's just say the place has memories.

So  I find myself in that same place, with a sea of (mostly young) folks who looked like my colleagues from six years ago--I mean some were dead ringers for their former selves--and yet, I didn't recognize anyone I knew.

And I thought, I had more colleagues in Austin at SXSW than I know in my own town. When I walked into the bar or restaurant in Austin, I screeched with delight to see the people I have known and worked with virtually--and some I had met--for years.

But when I walked into the former haunt of my former business self, I didn't recognize anyone except the fine ladies who led me there.

And what THAT made me realize is how far across the net I have traveled in the last six years. How telecommuting has morphed into broadband living. How part-time in the office has morphed into full-time connectivity. I don't just do my work OVER the Internet anymore; I work across and inside the Internet. My browser is my office. I don't work in Atlanta. I live in Atlanta. I have some clients in Atlanta. But as far as a workplace--mine is online.

The intense, passionate intimacy of this non-physical place we share here never struck me so obviously as it did tonight, standing in a sea of people who were not you.


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May 30, 2006

Forever Young

I can't imagine being able to bend into that position, but on something that's m-o-v-i-n-g? forgetaboutit! Look at Mike Golby though--doing us 40-something's proud. RESPECT major, man.




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The Middle Ages

After noticing that i missed Euan's birthday, I realized that it's 10 days until I turn 44. HOLY SHIT.


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Hitler speech mystery

Fascinating find at George Kelley's friend's house...
Hitler speech mystery
Originally uploaded by allaboutgeorge.

Because I Ken


Lots of things happen when you talk to Locke.

Oh My Homogeny

This continues to blow my mind--share your OPML? share your jism in the net's latest circle jerk is more like it. Let's review the first dozen in the top 100....

1. dave winer's best guy friend
2. geekfest playground
3. dave winer's second best guy friend.
4. wealthiest netco in the world run by guys blog.
5. conglomerate blog of gadgets written by guys
6. digg
7. joel
8. mostly cory doctrow
9. dave winer's biggest enemy, himself
10. what?
11. they still publish wired?
12. an aggregator, how meta.
and so on and so on.

A prize for the person who identifies the first blog/feed written by a woman, and only a woman.

Why does it all look the same as everything we've seen before? Because sharing your OPML has nothing to do with sharing as in "evening things out."  it's an old boss/new boss kinda thing, ya see....


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what should last longer, the laptop or the stickers?

I got my very first valley schwag order--yah you can count me in on the valley wanna-bes, but not really, from a distance is okay crowd--and was very pleased. I'm proud to be among the last in the run of recipients who will receive their schwag wrapped in a burlap sack. Apparently, hand painting 1,500 of the things got the schwaggers thinking twice. I guess!

Along with t-shirts and a pencil, buttons and a tattoo, I got some really cool stickers that made me think I should get on board the putting-stickers-on-your-laptop bandwagon, but then I thought (Seriously!), "Oh, I really like these stickers--i don't want to waste them on a laptop I won't be using that long..."

consumables, they be a changin'.


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The Head Lemur's Wooden Door and the Jewish Carpenter

I definitely see someone... Jesus.... Dave.... Frank... Steve... Chris... Doc.... I gotta go with David. Go see if you see someone you know in the shroud of the Lemur's doggie door.


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the once every decade MFU

This is not the kind of post that makes clients feel warm and fuzzy. So if you are one, go read about my puppy. For everyone else, let me describe how much cosmic energy I am devoting to remaining hyperaware these days to stave off the MFU--Major Fuck Up.

It happens to me about once a decade. Always has. The first time, I was 24 and it was only after printing thousands of magazines (printing was a big deal in 1986) for the New York State Board of Education--me having done the typesetting and layout in PageMaker on a Mac (was it a disk-swaping 512K or SE back then, I can't remember), as well as the photography, the editing, and managing of the production--that the head of Grants Development who wrote an article for the publication noticed her title read: "Director, Office of Grants Develoment and Procurement" - develOment. develoooooment.

Besides that, it was perfect, but close enough for jazz doesn't count in publishing.

The next time was 1996 and it was my first big contribution in my new director of corporate comm position at the now-defunct Systems Techniques, where I talked them into letting me design and print catch-all folders, classy die-cut ones, that we could use for press kits, presentations, proposals, etc. In other words, I was trying to help the company grow up a little from stapled handouts. And the resulting die-cut, classy folder was beautiful, except that no one who proofed it--including yours truly--noticed that the name of the company had a typo in it on the front inside flap: "Sytems" Techniques. Clear as day. How the heck? Amazing how that shit shows up like neon once you have 10,000 printed and stacked in boxes.

Ingenuity is the mother of CYA, so I spent the next months, whenever I had free time, cutting the flaps off the folders and turning them into presentation covers we could use as fronts and backs with our binding machine to dress up our presentation handouts. Not exactly a perfect solution, but it beat tossing them in the garbage. My very forgiving CEO started using the folders anyway: "Hell, I didn't notice it," she said, "I doubt anyone else will."

Now it's 2006, and I've always been one with a keen sense of time, just ask George, and I can feel that little MFU devil on my shoulder at least twice a week --> "Hmmm, something seems amiss, did you forget anything? double check, triple check and watch what you say..."

Maybe blogging this will break the curse, the jinx, the repetition compulsion -- whatever it is -- or maybe I'll just have to be thankful that small print runs don't cost what they used to, and print on demand makes fixing screw-ups easier.


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Stowe saw it @ Mesh

That Canadian Thing is not my imagination.


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See Sheila on Desmond Dekker, trees, roots, and so on.

Sheila's got the goods (good links, good listening, and good lord a lot more!).


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May 29, 2006

TO have been a fly on the wall...

for this trip would have been a good fly time for sure.


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Semple Sample on Blogxpert

You too can hear Euan talk about connections in business and life, social computing wise, here. (dig that intro!) Among other things, Euan masterfully handles the then-and-now of his now indie status.

Engage that man!


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Walkin with Golby


More glimpses into Mike's world as he picks up the photo slack in Shelley's absence. In fact, he's posted 400 photos across 10 blog entries using BubbleShare, which I think earns him some special lapel pin. GO MIKE! I'm viewing now. It is amazing to see your world up close and personal. How wonderous. How truly amazing.


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The best thing about not paying attention to the Internet for long time...

is days worth of new Ze Frank to watch when you come back!!!

Tags:

Tags:    //  Tags: // Tags:


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Oh Fuk, It's Tag Spam

Well you knew that had to happen. I was just searching up my tag-based feed for Atlanta when I encountered several dozen florida-based florist posts tagged with Atlanta for technorati. Well crap. Was hoping they wouldn't get that smart.


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Sophie Got a Lube Job

I've been beyond busy these last few weeks. No sign of it letting up. That is good news. I haven't entered a summer as a solo practitioner in four years where business is as good as it is right now. Al Gore and his Internets. Who knew?

Listen, in the puppy department things are interesting. We have a rickety fence that needs fixing. This makes it tough. Bando has long escaped our backyard to have breakfast at one of several neighbors' houses and then be back in the driveway by the time I come back from car pool at Jenna's school. But now little Sophie has learned how to escape too. Bando climbs over (yes climbs, like spiderdog), and Sophie tunnels under.

fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Apparently Bando was smart enough NOT to follow her out of the subdivision the other day, when she decided to spring the neighbor's dog and run off to the Tires Plus auto store down the road.

Busy road to be exact.

I got a call from a nice woman who said she read the tag on the puppy's collar and it said to call this number. "She's at Tires Plus?!" screamed I. "Yep--we gave them water and kept em out of the antifreeze," replied she.

ahcrapoloa.

Off I went, never thinking to put a blanket on the back seat, which I would have if I'd known that she ran away with a 100 pound somesuchdog and that they had both managed to find a MUDINFESTED CREEK to roll in on the way.

ahshitola.

Anyway, all's well that ends, and they are back in their rightful places.

Sophie's doing pretty well in the house, but she likes being outside, and she likes being with Bando, and unfortunately they both like escaping, and unfortunately we are getting estimates for someone to put up a new fence. George intends to bury chicken wire along the bottom. I intend to place a classified ad if that doesn't work.

Did I say that the old owner who couldn't take care of her and let her go, whom we met through our neighbor who talked us into this mess, said that she was told the puppy is german shepherd and st. bernard?

yah, kay. thanks for playing the home game.


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BubbleShare Bursts Forth with New Features

From tagging to printing, and search to the new vertical slide for your blog sidebar, you gotta get your BS on with some awesome new features. Albert has the rundown here.


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May 26, 2006

up late / work late / oh so much to do

which web-point-0 will it be when the Internet does our work for us?


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doing montreal

"There’s blasts from the past, and then there’s gas from your ass, auditory runs, where the shits just keep on coming." -- brian moffatt


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May 25, 2006

PDF Template Claims to Bring PR Into Web 2.0...

Uh, This is Really Dumb.

Lots of people have already written about liking or hating it, which in and of itself is an American PR Idol like exercise in futility. Talking ABOUT instead of talking to or from.

First rule of social media:

WARN ME WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO MAKE ME OPEN A STINKING PDF.


Second rule:

A TEMPLATE IS A CONTAINER, NOT A CONVERSATION.

Third rule:

WHEN YOU HAVE A DUMB IDEA, AND WE ALL DO SOMETIMES, DON'T EXECUTE ON IT.


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May 24, 2006

Bloglines Neglect

Ever neglect to open your aggrevator for, like, several days? Ever figure you might as well delete everything and start over because it's the world live web and you were absent that day?


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It's easy to forget how dumb puppies are, or smart.

Little Sophie (yes, that's what she's called, despite the fact--or so i hear that the new Da Vinci Code movie boasts a Sophie in the lead role).

Trust me. She's no movie star.

She's doing pretty well except for our fence woes. We'll have to get a new fence in the back yard when we can afford to. It's one thing to have Bando (our six-year-old mutt) busting through the pickets and thickets as fast as George can foil him, and then CLIMB over when he can't get out the old fashioned way, but NOW he's teaching her to escape.

So much for keeping them down on the farm once they've seen Gay Paris!

Three neighbors in the last week have told me that Bando comes over and visits them in the morning. Two of the three give him breakfast. I wondered how he was gaining so much weight with all the escaping and running he does. Apparently he's running to the next nearest breakfast.

Tonight when I got home from the store, there was Bando in the drive way with little miss Sophie following along, fresh out from an escape run.

Great. Shenanigans. I don't need em.

Did I mention she's cute though?


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May 23, 2006

Stowependous Advice

I gobbled up every word of Stowe's great post about having to fire one of his advisory capital clients because of holes in the no assholes rule -- a post that should be required reading for everyone who's signing on as an advisor to any Web 2.0 (or other) company. For me, Stowe's post was a signpost. That sign says: Girl, You Got a Lot to Learn.

First off, I didn't know there was a No Assholes Rule, because if I had known that, I would have invoked its special clauses two years ago. That having been said, I gleaned some great insight reading this post that reminded me how ignorant I am about what I'm saying yes to, even though I'm now signed on as an advisor to--I think 4?--webby cos.

It's not like I haven't done any research on my own mind you. In fact, the second time I said "yes" to becoming an advisor (without much thought as to what it meant except to offer to help out in exchange for some good karma -- warning, I don't give away the farm for good karma anymore), I did what any smart blogger would do. I called a longtime indie blog buddy and asked how this shit works.

He said, most of these companies have standard advisory agreements that are the same for each advisor--in other words, every advisor gets the same deal, which typically involves some equity in return for x amount of commitment/time, say 20 hours per month. So, he said, tell them you want their standard advisory agreement. If they say they don't have a standard agreement, tell them you want 20% better than the best deal they've given so far.

Rim shot.

Of course I was also advised not to count on making a living -- or a late night trip to Walmart for diet coke -- as an advisor.

According to Stowe though, there's a lot more to know. And in reading his post, I came up with some questions I still have on how the typical Web 2.0 Advisor/Advisee relationship is structured (if there is a "typical" relationship):

1) Do you always document the advise/counsel/ideas you deliver? I would think that there should be a recommended process/format/flow for the regular exchange of ideas between advisors and advisees. (currently this is different for each of my advisees).

2) Sounds like Stowe typically does a front-end consulting gig to evaluate the company/offering and THEN signs on as an equity-based advisor if all signs are go? That's really smart. He's getting paid for his initial evaluation. I haven't done it that way. Yet.

3) Sounds like Stowe offers discounted consulting rates for clients who commit to longer-term, retainer contracts. I do this too. You commit to me and pay me on X date every Y weeks, on time, without drama or trauma, and I give you a break. Direct deposit knocks off more. Nothing like waiting for the Pony Express to trot up with a check. What other ways can we reward/incent clients (in general) for/to making it easy to get paid a specified amount at specific times?

4) I want this, from Stowe, on a poster. One that I can hang on the INSIDE of my eyelids:


"After all, once rule #1 is broken -- the "No Assholes" rule -- then there is no hope. People can learn to moderate their behavior, but never their basic psychological makeup. Once they start fucking you over, there is no end, because if they rationalize doing it once they will always be able to go through the same thinking process again and again."

THIS is the big rule of indie consulting in general. Once they indulge in fucking you over, they can't stop. And even when they do temporarily, all you have is a dry asshole. And that's just as bad.

5) Stowe's contract amendment also offers words to live--or at least work--by: "If the contract is terminated for any reason other than cause (and cause will be limited to felonies, or other really unambiguously bad acts, like breaking an NDA) then the one year stock grant will be accelerated, and whatever discount has been granted will be rescinded for all time expended since the outset of the contract."

SO, in other words, I think what this means is, YOU TURN INTO A DEMONSTRABLE ASSHOLE DURING OUR TIME TOGETHER, AND YOU OWE ME ASSHOLE RATES BACKDATED TO THE START OF OUR AGREEMENT. Damn, do I like that idea -- for all of my discounted-rate clients.

6) What's a one-year stock grant, and what does accelerating it mean?

I certainly look forward to Stowe packaging these "best practices in avoiding the worst clients" into something sharable. Like he says, most of the companies out there who are actually SEEKING our help are the product of good people who really want help and guidance on how to best nail down and achieve their objectives. I LOVE MY CLIENTS. They are doing cool things and want input from real people to make their product even better.

Then you have the assholes. ;-)

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Nate's Diploma

Congrats to AKMA and Margaret. THIS is a big deal. WAY TO GO NATE!
Nate's Diploma
Originally uploaded by AKMA.

Putting the PR in PR and the Shirt on Your Back


Mine doesn't have the signatures, but I love it just the same and am considering fed-exing it to PR brainchild Josh Hallett to get his autograph on mine for pushing this funfest forward. All I an say is that I watched with glee the day the PepperRubel site was 'uncovered'--God knows we can all use a little more fun around here. Glee, fun, joy, what have you.

YOU can wait for pics of mine, or bid on the Pepper+Rubel autographed version, now on ebay, and at printing time of this blog, carrying a high bid of $96.

A deal to be SURE.

BID HIGH, BID OFTEN!

May 22, 2006

Business Transformation and the Psyche of the "Wounded Creative"

It occurred to me today after spending some time in the company of a rapid-cycling highly-creative, bi-polar friend, that the current tech-meets-web2.0 business environment is becoming increasingly suited to the workstyle and general condition of the manic depressive.

It's PTSD meets work on hyperdrive. It's bursts of high-gear mania interspersed with periods of lying low and dropping out, agonizing loneliness, depression and isolation, followed by a reemergence and productive flurry of seemingly incongruous ramblings, which, online, translate into gems of innovation -- technology, products, features, business models, all of what we're doing here.

Survival of the fittest today? It's survival of the survivor. The walking wounded by nature of their trauma are gifted in adaptation; that very ability is key to their having survived at all.

I believe the sheer mass of traumatic memory online, converging across millions of individuals working creatively, is healing us.

At the same time, it is changing the nature of business to support us during that healing.

Or so says me.


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May 21, 2006

in praise of the southern woman

it's the angle of the chin
set
just so, sweet drawl caresses
knee-weakened men
with keen assessments
of the dogwood's health
and the precise number of pines
taken down this season
to let the sun warm
gardens of tomatoes and herbs
set
against a backdrop:
Chinese maple shades
her ceramic bird bath.

it's the turn of a phrase
pleasant peaches with punch,
the southern woman never
surrenders, but wraps control
in a checkered napkin, folded triangle,
a homecoming to strangers and friends
set
in the blazing heat of summer.

Her voice is cool relief, beads of
sweat on Nanna's glass pitcher,
sweet tea with ice to quench his thirst.

The sins of her foremothers beckon,
remember her into forgiveness, witness
to her shortcomings,
she pours learning over lemon,
perspiring in a tall glass
on the wrought iron table
in the heat of the
mid-day sun.


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Is it about money?

You're damn skippy it is:


...Together, they decided to stop talking about where the women bloggers are and create a place for women bloggers to read each other and be read by everyone. They built on the earlier efforts of women equally determined to amplify muted female voices such as Jeneane Sessum, the Atlanta founder of Blog Sisters.

"Blog Sisters and now BlogHer give women much improved visibility in a space that now has an economic component to it," Sessum said.

A GREAT article by uberreporter Jessica Guynn in the Contra Costa Times about women and blogging and BlogHer.

Ask questions now for the Tuesday roundtable with the BlogHers++. Cool!

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Sophie?


May 19, 2006

puppy name requests...

dear bloggers,
it's me, jenna! jeneane's little daughter. i am trying to name my puppy. it is a girl. she's about two months old. a german shepherd mix. half floppy, half standup ears. black and tan. i need help naming her. some of my favorite names so far are grace, dori, chloe and pickles. my mom and dad only sort of like those. except mommy likes grace. they said to ask you.

Do you have some puppy names?

she sort of looks like this, except younger.



love,
Jenna


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oh dear

eyes red and itchy from the new puppy we seem to have inherited when i said "yes" by accident.


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Rave On

RSS with TITS! Guilty as Charged.


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You know why no one's talking about this one?

Because THIS one is scary. All I can figure is that PR is PRing itself because the whole industry would like to spin this puppy. Why? When what seem like familiar billing practices end up sending other firms' folks to jail, you go: oooo...man.


Another juror cited a series of e-mails among Dowie, Stodder and other Fleishman-Hillard executives in Los Angeles and the firm's headquarters in St. Louis. In them, Dowie asked that the billing be "padded" to help meet monthly revenue projections, and Stodder repeatedly directed his subordinates to bill more time to the city.

oooo...man.

good thing most people are smart enough NOT to put those kind of requests in email.

I want one BigPR person to come here and leave a comment, with a hand on the Bible or The Da Vinci Code--your preference--stating that you believe the biggest account in your office has never had extra hours (either value-billed or hours from other clients' projects that went over budget) billed to that mega-budget client. Ever.

Heck, I extend that invitation to BigConsulting in general.

Come on--you stake your reputation on that having never happened.

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May 18, 2006

Euan Me

Euan pretty much tells the conference whiners in the U.S. to shut up already. But it sounds really good how he says it. Dig how he says Nerdy. ;-)


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All In The Family, Web 2.0 Style

Passion--with or without a business model--will always win out on the net.

The passionate Susan Kitchens started Family Oral History some time ago, before I noticed services like Our Story (formerly wisdom ark, though  don't think it really launched as wisdom ark but that was the name a couple of weeks ago at OnHollywood, I think. Rebranding in beta--that's webby2.0ey. They were probably waiting to get the good domain, which they did).

Anyway, Susan does a great review of the Our Story service, complete with screen clips and a brief interview with a representative there upon noticing that the TOS indicated a fee may be charged to get your data back out of the service.

That's the thing with "the cloud"--fishing stuff back out.

Susan's post is an interesting look from the perspective of a bloggerpreneur with a passion for preserving family records getting under the hood of a seemingly squeeky-clean web 2.0 beta fresh from OnHollywood. Lots of good feedback there.

I hope Susan also has a chance to take a look at Amiglia, another new family 2.0 beta helping users map and share photos, people, music and games across family connections.


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smite, smote, smitten

Great-great-super-eight post by Brandon.


Secret: It's not just baseball. No woman has ever slugged me in the shoulder and not had me fall head over heels in love with her, even if momentarily. If you want to win my heart, all you have to do is get about a three or four foot running start and put your entire weight behind your tiny fist and plow it into my arm and you will see the cartoon hearts coming out of my head. I bet I’m not alone. You should try it with that guy you're interested in. Next time you see him, don't say 'hi' and curl a lock of hair around your finger coyly. Get right to the goddamn point. Just flat out deck him.

Don't miss the last line.

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It's a Good Things the Native Americans Didn't Make US Assimilate, huh?

Even Elaine has slipped off the blue slope on the immigration issue. I'm stunned, and I'm attributing it to the stress of her recent move. Either that, or Elaine has jumped the shark.

And she's not alone. If I hear one more talk show, radio show, news show, friend or blogger bemoaning the plight of "our ancestors" who hung on to ship rails, pieces of floating lumber, donkey's tails and half-eaten skidoos to get to the promised land, using the "we" "we "we" voice regarding that universal experience, without even HINTING at a few details of how some other now-Americans got to this land, I'm going to have to tape the blood vessels back into my head.

Number one, your ancestors weren't the first ones here and no one saw their asses assimilating to the customs and language of the Cherokee; and number two, a very large and distinct portion of America's ancestry is made up of people who were bought, chained, flogged, and shipped here, where they were sold, chained, and put to work to build this-land-is-your-land without pay in slavery. Assimilate THAT.

To put it a little more clearly, we gots us a history with brown skinned folks a goin' way back.

NOW, the two facts above may have little to do with the immigration issues at hand and in the headlines. But they have a ton to do with many of the stupidest arguments I am hearing, day after day, from  intelligent people about why Bush is right, as they mistake politics for reality.

I'm not saying I know how to fix it, but when it comes to discussing the topic, I expect more out of smart people.


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May 17, 2006

You have GOT to love being in (okay on) Business Week

Good article on blogging for small businesses in Business Week Online yesterday and today (part 1, part 2). Man, I can't believe how smart that one chick is:


...You'll want to find someone in your company who's willing to blog regularly, under their real identity and with an authentic voice, says Jeneane Sessum, a communications and social-media consultant. "The role of corporate blogger can be filled by a passionate employee...or [through] a concerted effort that encourages all employees to blog...or it can be the CEO, the development team, or the courier," Sessum says.

And you'll want to be sure that your blogger has something personal and interesting to write about. "If small businesses are thinking of reiterating internal news or press releases on the company blog, they would do well to save their energy and avoid the wrath of the commenters who have been known to swarm on lame entrants into the blogosphere," she warns.

Wow. I got to say "lame" and "swarm" in Business Week. Truthfully? It doesn't get any better than that.

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All The Conferences That'R Fit to Print

Brand Dialoge lists a gaggle of Web2.0r conferences coming up all in one place, real organized, with speakers too--a great resource. Now you can see what you're missing in one easy glance! Because the BlogHer description is a little light, let me suggest you review who's speaking at BlogHer here and here for starters. It's an impressive assortment of women, a partial list of which I would call your attention to in danah boyd, Heather Armstrong, Arieanna Foley, Jennifer James, Toby Bloomberg, Susan Kitchens, Lynne D. Johnson, Charlene Li & Marnie Webb -- and that's just for starters.


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web 2.002

Doc beat me onto Technorati for the first time by three days back in 2002.

New T'rati baseball card feature hat tip to Stowe, who has left me eating his dust on his way up the rank ladder to 2,657.


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Dysfunction Junction: BigPR, BigMediaList Keepers, and the Solo Practitioner -- An Eye on Bacon's and Vocus

I’ve been online a long time. I’ve done what I do for a living for a longer time. Those two areas of my life collided in 1996 with my first corporate website and online communications initiative.

You should know these things not because it’s a good way to rev up my rant, well maybe, but also because I’m tired. Tired as an online participant as an online user.

I’m  tired of telling companies how to do business with me—NAY, not just telling, but showing: look, do it like this: 1, 2, 3. Wait, even better, get out of the way and I’ll do the work of doing business with you myself.

If my enthusiasm for changing the world, or at least the world of business, took a hit during Web 1.0, it’s been run over during this recent iteration of business as usual by any other name.

Enter the keepers of all media lists, Bacon's, and competitor Vocus, to name two. Now, understand that I have been a user of MediaMap (now Bacon’s MediaSource(?) (How much did that re-branding exercise cost?) for almost 10 years. I haven’t been able to afford access the last two years, having completely severed my agency ties and stopped begging email-password combos off friends.

I’ve said before, these high-priced ($3-$5K per year per license) services are among the most important barriers left keeping the small fish from taking over the practice and processes of PR from BigPR firms.

As such, the business models of BigPR and BigMediaListKeepers are tightly intertwined. Hello: That’s really important. And maybe that’s a good thing. Because where there’s a barrier, someone with smarts and a nose for opportunity will come crashing through it eventually.

More on that another time, as models for ways of crashing through this barrier are forming, and deserving of posts of their own.

But back to my story. Not only have I been a user of MediaSource, once Map, for nearly a decade, but I have been listed as a pitchable outlet in MediaMap, now Source, for more than three years, as writer/reporter/journalist (hee) of this very weblog, which is listed in the heretofore mentioned databases. When blogs were added as news sources, there I came. Kind of an early model of consumer as producer, I’d say.

Pitching myself was always the easiest answer. I rarely was rude, except when I caught myself on a bad day.

Anyway, typical with all of the media sources added, I wasn’t asked; they added me. That’s how it works. And, the reason so few object to being added as a journalist or media outlet is because – yes you do get pitched with bogus stuff that everyone in blogland can make fun of – but generally you find out some interesting stuff about interesting products from PR people who are just itching to tell you everything you want to know while you treat them rudely and make them do a lot of work for you. Win-win or what?

Except that it would be nice if Bacon’s made at least SOME opt-in and customizable options available online for those they pimp, like the old airline menus where you could choose Kosher or vegetarian—but that was before the airlines took food away altogether, put you in a coffee can seat with a strap and a fuse, lit your ass on fire, and called that air travel.

I digress.

The relationship between BigMediaKeepers like Bacon’s and uberPR firms like Ketchum, for example, is a happily dysfunctional and expensively enmeshed co-dependency based on the way things worked before the conversational Web developed.

BigPR says to Bacon’s: you tell us who to send emails (used to be faxes) to, and we’ll pay you enterprise license fees so that we don’t have to get to know those people ourselves, because they don’t like us and we don’t like them but we both need each other. And Bacon’s says: Okay that’ll be lots and lots of thousands of dollars for an enterprise license, thank you very much, here’s your username and password, or would you like us to integrate our offering with your extranet for a little bit more, and train your thousands of users for—oh never mind we’ll throw that in for *free* with (some strings attached) after making sure no one can truly get what they need without the training.

This shit is SO ripe for an intervention.

Again, because these tools are essential, if dysfunctional, I’ve been looking at ways to get into MediaSource by sharing or creating an entity of likeminded solo practitioners who want to share a license. I don’t know if that’s legal—the two or three of us who’ve emailed back and forth saying, HEY, that would work for me, haven’t checked into all of that yet. Does this sound silly yet in the age of open source? Well it should.

That being said, I’ve tried to play by the rules, and have emailed inquiries to both Bacon’s and Vocus to try to find out how much their services actually cost.

I’ve gotten straighter answers out of used car salesmen.

First of all, let me say this to them about that: If you are going to ENGAGE me online and INTEREST me in your service, then you better give me a way to INTERACT with you online and—heavens!—even purchase online.

Instead with both of these companies, you have to submit your contact information and agree to be contacted by phone, at which point (I can tell you this from experience with both providers), if you have out of the ordinary questions, ass meet crack, you’re kicked out of the buying process.

With Vocus in particular, they are keen on setting you up with a 30-minute demo, which I can’t believe folks would spend time on BEFORE they know if they’re really interested—i.e., how much does it cost?

Nonetheless, I have one voice mail back from Bacon’s (man, when will they let you podcast directly from voicemail?) asking me to call back to talk about the service (I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, I want you to tell me how much and care that I’m a Blogger and I’m going to write about you), and I talked to a polite gentleman at Vocus who quoted me $4,900 annually, but implied that the price was somehow negotiable.

Eh?

I stopped him half way through and said, look, what I need are the media lists, that’s all. And I need to know if you can make it affordable to a solo practitioner like me. And I won’t spend a half hour of my time until I know those things. I’m a Blogger and I’ve used MediaMap for years and I’m IN it, so if you can do what MediaMap does, and you have some affordable pricing, I’m sold.

At this point the Vocus guy tells me they are BETTER than Bacon’s because they update their databases DAILY, and he would have another person call me to discuss pricing, which, dear friends, I doubt would result in a satisfactory price for my solo modest means, but nonetheless the point is, I haven’t heard from anyone.

And I don’t want to. I WANT this information to be available ONLINE and I WANT them to show me they UNDERSTAND what I need by interacting with me at the point of engagement, not by wasting my voicemail on my cell phone. I want them to not keep their pricing options a secret. I want them to EMAIL me because I gave them my EMAIL. I want to see their sample lists without having to sit down for a half-hour time-share pitch.

I swear to you, it makes me want to learn how to design software because HOLY shit there must be a better way, and I already know what it is, and every day I don’t have it I wish I could pay someone to give it to me or build it myself.

I have to go take some ibuprofen now. Yes, that means you can pitch me on herbal remedies for pain. No spaam please.


Fun with Logos



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May 16, 2006

Stop Making My Email Act Like A Damn Forum

why bother. if i'm not going to rant here, then where?

The truth is, none of this makes sense offline. And shit-little makes sense online--or increasingly so.

I can't stand outside with my across-the-fence neighbor and say, "How about fucking gmail? It's pissing me off. I don't want email that acts like a forum; I like email acts like goddam email, one message at a time, not all tied together pretending to be a conversation when for chrise-sake, it's EMAIL. If I want a phone call, I'll MAKE ONE."

Because he's nice enough for a neighbor, but he assembles fighter jets at Lockheed and I'm pretty sure he's on AOL.

Which brings me to you: What's up with gmail's chat/conversation/flowy/gooey/i-missed-your-email- everyone/freaked-out approach to organizing mail by threads. I hate it. I like dates, times, and when i want to, maximum sorting capability. I want email. That's "E" plus "Mail."

So, I'm assuming there's an Outlook-like Gmail Classic format that I'm missing a link to somewhere? A little button I can click to take the power of gmail an make it look like Outlook? Someone tell me where before i miss some reply from you to some very important email bumped down the food chain into WTF-land.


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it's the motion of commotion, or, the best quote from Syndicate

"You can't measure everything that matters."
--doc searls

via David.


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Keep Your Ze On

ze starts the day off rite. ze knows things others don't know. And if he's not sure, he says so. Like here:

"I'm not sure, but I think Delta's motto is, 'Go fuck yourself.'"
--ze frank

I think so too!


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May 15, 2006

It's So Meshy

Our Canadian Brothers and Sisters and their friends are Meshing it up. Wish I wuz there. If I had tons of money, I'd invest in a few Canadian Web 2.0 companies. Canada's like the Valley, except without so much the obnoxious thing. You can quote me on that.

You waited, what, a whole day for this post?

heh.


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May 14, 2006

daughter song

if i could i would i swear i would
move the moon i've tried to, you know
move the sun inside to keep you warm,
i swear i would if i could bring the sky
so low it would cradle you,
wipe tears from your eyes with the clouds,
i swear i would if i could sew seams
from lengths of hair build a fine fashioned chair
for you to sit on, relieve your back,
if i could i would god knows
knock a nail with a hammer to build a cart
to take you here and there,
save your feet and aged knees,
if you please, if i could i swear i would
turn the roads from hilly to flat so you
would not bounce like that along the way
and i swear if i could i would
fix every little thing with a handwritten letter
make it all better, make you believe i love you
always will, and i would that you could know
with words already spoken so many times ago.


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Thoughts on BlogHer, Qumana, and Flying West

Fly away, yeah, ride the sky away,
Kingdom come tonight.
Mighty day, yeah the stone rolls away,
Chains will melt in the light.

They will tell you your wings have lost the power of flight,
Flew too close to the sun, fell back into the night.
But if we open our eyes, we can open our wings
Hey, and sail out of sight.

Higher and higher, goin' straight for the light.
Feel the fire, or you'll feel the fright.
Hey tonight, fly away tonight.
Fly away tonight.

--Fly Away, John Perry Barlow with Bob Weir


*************************************

Looks like I'm GOIN' TO BLOGHER, BABY, courtesy of the generosity of our clued Canadian friends at Qumana, who've sponsored Jenna and I to make the trip. WAAAAHOOOO!

DO you know how many people are going to be there that I've been wanting to meet for-like-ever? DO you also know Dave Winer will be there as well? Not to mention, I finally get to verify for all of my co-Easterners who, like me, may not have ever ventured west of Texas, that there IS indeed gold in them there hills--and a left coast after all.

Jenna's like, "Will I meet RAVEN?!"

I'm like, "I DONNO!"

My friend Phyllis lives near San Jose (in San something I think) and I have never met her beautiful daughter in person. Only in her belly. WOW! And she has a bird named Birdie, and every morning Birdie says: "I'm a Birdie.?."

And I've always wanted to hear him wonder.

HOW ROCKING COOL is this? Holy shit. You all better come now. Else I'll feel all weird and homesick. I'd hate for you to be responsible for that.


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May 11, 2006

And on the 12th Day, God Made AKMA

and I love him.

AKMA on the good cause and the white guy.


Is the White Man there because the moment really needs his visible presence, or is he the token of establishment approval, proving that White Power (to some extent) supports this movement, and back-handedly reinforcing the premise that if White Men don’t want something to happen, it won’t? The ambiguous legacy of St MacGyver involves the very good dimension of conscientized White Men putting their resources at the disposal of women and people of color — excellent! It also involves White Men’s power and privilege sapping the diluting the power that people of color and women might exercise over against White Men.

Maybe AKMA can't jump, but he can kick some ass.

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An Answer in CollectiveX?

Is CollectiveX the answer to e-room I've been looking for 4 about 120 years? And if so, do you mind if I wet myself?

See Stowe for more. Meet me at Silo Blue.


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Yeah, You Know Me



Inspired by McD, something for the other people.

on death and dying

I remember when Halley started blogging all those years ago, and how she sort of blogged herself into life online with such force as she simultaneously blogged about how it was to watch her father's life force go offline. What she shared with us about it remains some of the most moving stuff ever blogged--I hope it helps Robert to read how it was for Halley.


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I mean, I said to the lady on the phone...

...that it was a good thing I blogged and could share my particular America West experience with others online. She had no idea what I was talking about. I wonder if she does now?

How rewarding to see their practice of double or triple charging AFTER THE PURCHASE of tickets, and holding those funds, exposed. Did I mention that they lost the luggage involved with this trip as well? And only half came back the first day? Finally by 11 p.m. on day two, all luggage was accounted for.


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